Colleges Universities Jokes
32 colleges universities jokes and hilarious colleges universities puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about colleges universities that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Colleges Universities Short Jokes
Short colleges universities jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The colleges universities humour may include short students university jokes also.
- Where do galaxies go to college? University!
Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :) - If college football created a bowl game called the "Hyperbole," which two teams would be selected to play in it? The two greatest teams in the history of the known universe.
- I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college... ... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot.
- What's the difference between a state funded University and a for-profit college? For-profit colleges are honest
- I believe there is another reality where I did really well in college. I call it my Alternate University Theory.
- A new report says that the average U.S. University Freshman reads at a 7th grade level. To any College Freshmen out there, big words say you can't read big words.
- I met a h**... once who tried to quit it all and go to college to get an accounting degree but didn't get accepted into university. But it's the thot that counts.
- I go to Northern Oklahoma University. Someone asked me "what college let someone as s**... as you in?" I couldn't think of a clever comeback so I just said No U
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Colleges Universities One Liners
Which colleges universities one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with colleges universities? I can suggest the ones about university and school college.
- Where did the car go to college? Tulane University
- I found out why college is so expensive these days Every university starts with U o.
- I would have really liked to study plants in college... but my university hadn't botany.
- My university demanded we use a specific type of notebook It's college rule
- Where did the small road go to college? Tulane University
- What type of college does planets go to? Universe-ity.
Ba Dum Tss - Where did the proctologist go to college? Pro State University
I'll see myself out. - What college do weeaboos attend? Ohio State University
- Where did Jared Fogle go to college? BYU. (Bring-em Young University)
- Where did Michael Jackson go to college? BringemYoung University
Great Colleges Universities Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about colleges universities you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean college jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make colleges universities pranks.
[Classic Old Joke] The son of an Arab oil tycoon joined a university in Berlin, after a month he sent an email to his dad.
'Dear Dad,
Germany is fine and the college is great. But I feel embarrassed to drive my gold plated Lamborghini to college when most of the students and even professors arrive by train'
Few hours later, he gets an email from his dad.
'Dear son ,
I just transferred $200 million to your bank account. Stop embarassing our family and buy a train for yourself'.
Some recent grads having a beer..
Three guys, Mike, Dave, and Doug were at a table in a bar enjoying some beers and conversation. A stranger came by and asked if he could join them and was immediately welcomed. After about an hour of lively conversation the stranger said, I can tell you are all recent college grads. I bet I can guess where each of you went to school.
That would be interesting, said Doug, I'd like to see how you could do that.
Well, Mike here, he's Harvard. That's easy. He's got the Haavard accent. He also made reference to some obscure points of business law and his stylish business suit seals the deal.
And Dave has got to be MIT. The smudged glasses and black t-shirt are a clue. He also made some references that show he has a good grasp of quantum theory and computer science.
That's amazing, said Doug. What about me?
Oh. You went to West Virginia University.
How do you know? asked Doug.
I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.
Nobel award winning physicist and his limo driver
A Nobel award winning physicist, who was afraid of flying, was on speaking tour of the nation's top colleges. He travelled by limousine to each destination to give his speech.
After two dozen engagements, the physicist and the limousine driver were having dinner before the next speech. The limousine driver commented that he'd heard the speech enough times, and that even though he didn't understand it, he felt as if he could deliver it word-for-word. So the physicist agreed to trade places and let him give the speech, and the physicist would sit in the back and wear the limousine driver's uniform.
After giving the speech flawlessly, the limousine driver opened the floor for questions from the students (typically there were none). However, at this particular University there was a rather egotistical student who thought he was smart enough to compete mentally with the Nobel physicist. The question took 5 minutes to get out and would require a rather lengthy explanation and some complex calculus to answer.
Without batting an eye, the limousine driver responded to the young student by saying, "The answer to that question is so easy, I'll let my limousine driver, seated in the back, respond."
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
“I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”