Colleges Jokes

Following is our collection of radian puns and arts one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Colleges jokes for adults, dirty more college student comments jokes and clean degree dad gags for kids.

The Best Colleges Puns

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.


Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.


"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree...

I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.

What do colleges and penises have in common?

They're both long and hard, unless you're Asian.

I thought only girls play hard to get...

But then I started applying to colleges.

I was arguing with friends over what school weighed the most.

One friend said high schools because the kids are older and weigh more.

Another said definitely colleges, not only do the students weigh more than high school students, there's so many more people.

I said you're both wrong, it's definitely Catholic schools, they have more mass.

What's the difference between a blonde and a community college

Well, they are both pretty easy to get into, but I don't have 3 community colleges under my basement. That would be ridiculous.

Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing?

When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.

Just because I'm below grade average and my family is poor, doesn't mean I won't be applying to colleges

There's bound to be one college with an opening position as a janitor.

Why dont Canadian colleges have spring break

First , you need spring.

Colleges are like women...

they seem to show interest in you at first but you still end up getting rejected

My medical bills are so high

That I got a thank you card from my Doctors kids' colleges

Applying to colleges is like talking to girls

I'm really into it but they aren't

What's the plus side to accepting science grad students from private liberal arts colleges?

They come without the B.S. !!

What's the difference between a blonde and community college?

I don't have three community colleges under my basement

Why do colleges require students to pay for books?

The intent is to provide students with aΒ senseΒ of pride and accomplishmentΒ for unlocking different classes.

What's the difference between a state funded University and a for-profit college?

For-profit colleges are honest

If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges?

Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded.

Top colleges are now offering a bachelors for mens hairdressing...

...but they call it "manscape architecture"

There is an abundance of undergrad jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes and colleges puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any academics witze you can hear about colleges.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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