College Majors Jokes
57 college majors jokes and hilarious college majors puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about college majors that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest College Majors Short Jokes
Short college majors jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The college majors humour may include short college degree jokes also.
- I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything... It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
- I'm going to major in philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'
- What subject did Dracula major in during college? AcCOUNTing
This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere. - I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree... I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.
- I didnt learn anything in college... I guess it was kind of my fault though. I double majored in psychology, and reverse psychology.
(Stolen from BJ Novak) - In college, 'Subway Jared' couldn't decide what to major in. He just wanted to get a minor.
- A dolphin graduated from college with a philosophy major. He thought, "what's my porpoise now?"
- I learned nothing in college... I guess it is really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and well reverse psychology.
- I am going to major in Women's Studies when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask "Do you want fries with that?" then proceed to compain that my degree matters.
- I asked a math major freshman friend this morning, "So what's your four-year plan in college?" ohhh you mean my Four-Year Transform or Four-Year Series?
Share These College Majors Jokes With Friends
College Majors One Liners
Which college majors one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with college majors? I can suggest the ones about math major and english major.
- What was spider Man's major in college? Web Design.
- I've decided on my college major! Agriculture. I've heard it's a very large field.
- Why did the music note drop out of college? Because it couldn't pick a major
- I used to be a science major in college I was going through an experimental phase
- I can't remember what I majored in at college. I skipped classes to some degree.
- What do you call a homeless college student? A philosophy major
- I experimented a lot in college I was a chemistry major
- What do farts major in, when they go to college? Gastronomy
- What did the grizzly bear study at college? He was an Ursa Major
- A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy
- An insect went to college and majored in fine ants
- What did the electric Pokémon major in at college to work at NASA? Eeveeonix
- I went to college to get a better education. Decided on a Liberal Arts major.
- There are 2 types of college majors... A B. S. major and a BS major
- What do cats major in college? String theory!!
College Majors Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about college majors you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean art major jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make college majors pranks.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a
gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma´am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said:
"It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma´am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said:
"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said:
"You know, I hope you don´t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had s**...?"
"1955, ma´am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no s**... since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him a few times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said:
"Wow, you sure didn´t forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice:
"I hope not, it´s only 2130 now."
Philosophy Major: True story
With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.
Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it. He looks at one student and asks, What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy.
The student says, They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.
Obstetrician career change
An Obstetrician decides that he's sick of his job and opts to become a car mechanic. For the next several months he attends night classes at his local technical college to gain his certification. A few months before the end of the curriculum, the entire class is informed that there will be a final individual exam that will constitute the majority of their grade and determine their certification status.
The day of the exam arrives and the obstetrician walks into the examination room to find three instructors and a car waiting for him. His task is to disassemble the engine, then reassemble it in the given time limit. The obstetrician does his best, though fears that he may have made a few mistakes.
A few weeks later he gets his results back and discovers he was awarded 150 points out of 100 on the test! He immediately rushes to his professor's office and asks about his score. The professor gives him a long look, then says,
"Well, the first 50 points you received were for correctly disassembling the engine, the next 50 points were for reassembling it, and we gave you 50 points of extra credit for doing it all through the muffler."
Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?
He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.
I'm going to major in m**... when I go to college...
I hear it's a growing field.
A homeless man is sitting in a bar
After a few drinks he begins speaking to a young lady. The homeless man mentions he feels it's unfair that he be homeless, seeing as he has a college degree.
Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?"
The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology and a French Minor. I think it's my felon status that prevents me from getting a job"
Intrigued, the young lady asks, "What landed you in jail?"
Taking a sip from his drink, the homeless man answers "The French minor."
I Finally Chose a College Major...
Me: Dad, I think I want to go to college for botany.
Dad: Are you sure? What made you interested in that?
Me: Well it is a growing field.
What does an art major do after college?
I don't know, I'll ask when I get to the second window.
You can major in 5 things in college:
science, engineering, business, nursing, or unemployment.
Look, I'm not saying you can't go to college to study religion if that's really what you want to do...
Just be aware that it's not a very prophetable major.
What should my major be in college, if I want to someday make casts for ladies with broken legs?
Broadcasting?
Do you know what an education major gets when they graduate from college in Oklahoma?
A map to Texas.
"Even though I didn't go to college, I make as much as a Graduate..."
"...Unfortunately it's a gender studies major."
Young man fresh out of college gets a job at a factory
When he arrives he surprised that he is assigned as junior janitor. Shocked he asks for the manager who hired him. Didn't you read I have a double major in Social Science and Anthropology
Oh says the man, I must have missed that. OK let me explain. Lift the mop up and put in the bucket, then wipe the dirty floor with it.
My p**... smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.
He's now a high priest.
A rural country man is visiting a prestigious college in the big city for the first time.
He's a little lost, so he flags down a passing student and asks, "'Scuse me, could y'all tell me where the library's at?"
The student draws himself up in a huff, and answers haughtily, "I'll have you know that I am an English major with a 4.0 GPA, and I absolutely refuse to answer a question that ends in a preposition!"
The country man thinks for a moment. "OK, then. Could y'all tell me where the library's at, *a**...?"*
My wife asked what I thought our daughter was going to do in college...
"c**... and burn. It's a double major."