College Football Jokes
24 college football jokes and hilarious college football puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about college football that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest College Football Short Jokes
Short college football jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The college football humour may include short football season jokes also.
- how many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they'll give 'em four credits for it.
- If college football created a bowl game called the "Hyperbole," which two teams would be selected to play in it? The two greatest teams in the history of the known universe.
- I lost my college football scholarship in the very first game this weekend, for pulling a groin. Not mine, someone else's.
- Anybody a fan of college football? I heard the Miami Hurricanes are looking strong this year.
- TIL College football is actually a combination of two American pastimes Coercive land grabbing, and exploiting unpaid black labor
- At college football games, there's advertisements everywhere. Companies love presenting moments of the game. Though it was ironic seeing Planned Parenthood presenting the "Delivery of the Game."
- As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast... I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.
- College football joke Ohio State deserved to be in the final 4 of the college football playoff?? Must be joking.
At least UW was able to put 7 on the board against Alabama.
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College Football One Liners
Which college football one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with college football? I can suggest the ones about college finals and football.
- Why is Alabama college football so strong? Because they are all one big family
- What college football date usually comes in April? The one who buys her a drink.
- What do you call a Chinese kid playing college football? A wok on.
- Which college football team keeps people awake at night? The long horns
- Nick Saban walks into a bar... to watch the College Football Championship
Uproarious College Football Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about college football you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean american football jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make college football pranks.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
Alabama college kid visiting Boston
So this Alabama Crimson Tide football player is visiting Boston. He's at a party and sees this pretty blonde girl, want to chat her up.
Goes over and says "What college does you go to?" She's not impressed by his down south accent and general rural hick ways, so she says "Yale." and looks away.
He lean over to her ear and says "WHAT COLLEGE DOES YOU GO TO?"
Football
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. Can you tackle? asked the coach. Watch this, said the freshman, who proceeded to run s**... into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. Wow, said the coach. I'm impressed. Can you run? Of course I can run, said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. Great! enthused the coach. But can you pass a football? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. Well, sir, he said, If I can s**... it, I can probably pass it.
Williams College and Amherst College have a long-standing rivalry.
One night, the Amherst students decide to raid the Williams football field and spray paint an A for Amherst s**... dab in the middle of the field. They sneak out under the cover of the dark, and when the Williams students wake up the next morning, they see the massive A on their field. Naturally, they decide to get Amherst back for their hijinks by leaving their own mark on the Amherst field.
The next morning, the Amherst students wake up to an average-sized B+ on their field.
Star football player Steve was about to be sacked for bad grades . . .
. . . but the team was on a winning streak, and he was badly needed. The head coach pleaded with the college president, and managed to convince him to allow the student to continue to play if he could spell just one word correctly. "Okay, Steve," the coach told him. "It's an easy one. Just spell the name of your favorite drink." "Sure coach. Khaphy."