College Educated Jokes
16 college educated jokes and hilarious college educated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about college educated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest College Educated Short Jokes
Short college educated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The college educated humour may include short college graduates jokes also.
- A bank teller decides to leave his job to go back to college for an education in chemistry. Turns out he had a compound interest.
- Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education? A Poison Ivy League College.
- Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing? When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.
- Do you know what an education major gets when they graduate from college in Oklahoma? A map to Texas.
- What did Yoda say, when someone handed him the paper, that finalised their college education? Ooh, a master's thesis!
- Multivariate calculus is to be put on all college entrance exams under Trump's new education plan. Trump wants to make America gradient again.
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College Educated One Liners
Which college educated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with college educated? I can suggest the ones about college degree and educated.
- Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only.
- I went to college to get a better education. Decided on a Liberal Arts major.
- Why didn't h**... get tertiary education? He couldn't stand Jew-near college.
Comical College Educated Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about college educated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean college student jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make college educated pranks.
Degree
I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie
A farmgirl returns home after her first year away at college...
Her father picks her up at the train station and starts driving back to the farm.
After a while the young lady turns to her father and says, "Daddy, I`ve got to tell you something - I ain`t a v**... no more."
Without taking his eyes off the road, the farmer replies,"Sugar-pie, to hear you say that it just breaks my heart. We saved all that money to send you away to get you educated proper, and you`re still using the word "ain`t" ".
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York.
A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!"
Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
"He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him.
He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.
Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education."
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"
"Oh," replied Jim " at Yale."
"That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?"
Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy.
The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?"
And the father answers truthfully:
"These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the s**... education class."
Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?"
"This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside.
"What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?"
"This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?"
His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"