College Campus Jokes
17 college campus jokes and hilarious college campus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about college campus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest College Campus Short Jokes
Short college campus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The college campus humour may include short campus jokes also.
- Where are the cleanest bathrooms on college campuses? The women's bathrooms in the engineering building.
- Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college? A hippo-campus
- My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery. The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.
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College Campus One Liners
Which college campus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with college campus? I can suggest the ones about college and college student.
- What do you call a blonde on a college campus? A visitor
- I went to the wrong college campus this morning... It was Occidental.
- A new social media site is sweeping over college campuses. Mysafespace.
College Campus Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about college campus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school college jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make college campus pranks.
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
A nerd is riding a bike on the college campus when he comes across his friend.
The friend asks, "Where did you get that awesome bike?"
"You won't believe what happened," the nerd says. "I was walking on a trail yesterday, minding my own business, when this really beautiful woman rode up to me. She threw the bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, and said '*take what you want.*'"
"Good choice," says the friend as he nods approvingly. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
On the first day of school, the college dean addressed the freshman class to explain some of the campus rules.
"The women's dormitory
is off-limits to male students and the men's
dormitory is off-limits to female students," he
intoned. "Am body caught breaking this rule
will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second
lime and $180 the third time. Does anyone
have any questions?
A male student raised his hand. "How much
for a season pass?"
Two engineering nerds were walking across their college campus.
One of them had a bike:
Nerd 1: Where did you get that bike, man; it looks pretty well made.
Nerd 2: Yesterday I saw a beautiful woman riding this bike in the park, and I winked at her. She came over, threw the bike down, took off her clothes, and said to me 'take what you want'.
Nerd 1: Wow, that's great! Wise choice too! I'm proud of you, dude.
Nerd 2: Why? It was a simple choice.
Nerd 1: Well, I thought it might have been pretty tempting.
Nerd 2: Not at all; I bet the clothes wouldn't have even fit me.
A college student calls the campus police...
"What's the problem, ma'am?" asks the responding officer.
The student is livid. "The guy who lives across from me is constantly m**...! All day, all night, every time I look, he has it out and he's beating it furiously!!"
"I understand," the officer replies, "Is he doing it now?"
"Yes! All the time, yes!"
"Show me."
The student takes the officer to her kitchen window and points to the dorm room across the way.
The officer scratches his head. "I don't see anyone."
"Hang on," says the student, "You have to stand on this chair."
At a local college there was a dance. A guy from America asked a girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing he gives her a little squeeze and says, In America we call this a hug.
She says, Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too.
A little later, he gives her a p**... on the cheek and says, In America we call this a kiss.
She says, Yaah, in Sweden we call it a kiss too.
Later that evening after quite a few drinks, he takes her out on the campus lawn and proceeds to have s**... with her and says, In America we call this a grass sandwich.
She says, Yaaah, in Sweden we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.
I remembered this joke while studying for exams.
God and st peter decide to do their rounds around a college campus. While looking around the dorms, they see a group of students earnestly studying for their final exams the next day. God looks at St Peter and tells him to fail each one of them. St. Peter is a little bewildered, but he dares not doubt the judgement of God. Moments later, they pass by a dorm full of drunk students, partying before their final the next day. God takes a look at them and says "Make sure these students all get an A+ tomorrow". St Peter cannot sit quietly anymore and finally asks why.
"Why?!" God shouts at St Peter, "These students clearly have faith in me!"