Collective Jokes
40 collective jokes and hilarious collective puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about collective that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the creative potential of collective nouns in this article! Learn about the history of collective jokes and explore the evolution of these group-based puns. Get a better understanding of the diversity of collective nouns across different cultures and across different contexts, including collective bargaining and agricultural fields. Be inspired by an ensemble of collective jokes that will bring laughter and lightheartedness to any gathering!
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Funniest Collective Short Jokes
Short collective jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The collective humour may include short collection jokes also.
- My dad is obsessed with The Beatles and is missing just one of their songs from his record collection. He needs Help.
- TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up
- A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. judge asks, "First offender?" She replied: "No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."
- A woman is arrested for beating her husband up with his guitar collection. The judge asked "First offender?"
The wife answered "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender" - Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon. They'll take the money and run.
- I just heard that my grandma has finally stopped smoking..... We can collect her ashes tomorrow.
- Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
- My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without actually participating in the races. It's our running joke
- Rick Astley is such a nice guy He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!
He's Never Gonna Give You Up - After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief
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Collective One Liners
Which collective one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with collective? I can suggest the ones about gathered and tribal.
- Used Vacuum cleaner for sale. I don't need it anymore. All it does is collect dust.
- I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust.
- I don't get the purpose of an air filter It just sits there and collects dust.
- I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
- I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... All it does is collect dust.
- I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
- Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals? Zoos
- I know a guy who collects candy canes... ...they are all in mint condition.
- Yesterday I sold my vacuum in a garage sale all it was doing was collecting dust.
- I was sad when I lost my rock collection. It had a lot of sedimental value.
- What is the collective noun for a group of depressives? A melancolony
- What did Mike Tyson say when I showed him my mold collection? Growth.
- I am completely obsessed with collecting magazines. What can I say, I have issues.
- I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
- My ant farm has 9 ants. One more and I'll have to start collecting rent.
Collective Noun Jokes
Here is a list of funny collective noun jokes and even better collective noun puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the collective noun for children? A migraine.
- What's the collective noun for sneezes? A choo.
- What is the collective noun for three dyslexics? A riot.
- What's the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites? A Senate.
- What's the collective noun for gay priests? Priests.
- What is the collective noun for a group of white girls? A canteven.
Uproarious Collective Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about collective you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cultural jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make collective pranks.
A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.
The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."
A farmer goes to the market to sell his horse for $2000, and a man buys it from him.
The farmer says he'll deliver it to to man in 1 week's time, but halfway through the week the horse dies.
The farmer offers to refund the man's money, but the man chooses to buy it anyway.
The next week the farmer sees and asks the man what he did with the dead horse.
The man says 'Oh I held a lucky draw, $50 for a chance to win a horse. 100 people entered, and I collected $5000.
The farmer, shocked, asks 'But wasn't anyone upset with the horse?' The man replies
'Oh yes, only the winner, but I refunded him his $50.'
The traffic jam in Russia.
There is a massive traffic jam somewhere in Russia. A driver sits idling in his car.
Suddenly a man approaches and knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Putin and are asking for a 20 million rubel ransom!
Otherwise, they are going to douse him in gasoline and set him on fire!"
The man continues "We are going from car to car taking up a collection."
The driver asks "Okay, how much is everyone else giving?"
The man replies "Oh, about a gallon or so."
A circus performer is driving home after a long day of training, when he is pulled over by a police officer for a broken light.
The officer looks in the car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
Sir, he says, Why do you have all those knives?
They're for my juggling act, the circus performer replies.
I don't believe you, says the cop. Prove it. So the performer gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives flawlessly.
Just at that moment, a car with two guys in it drives by. "Wow, says one to the other. I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard.
I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
Oh No! Not ELON!
Man is driving along the freeway when he is stopped by a huge traffic jam.
After sitting there for quite a long time, he sees another man walking from car-to-car.
The second man finally gets up to his car. He rolls down the window....
"Hey man, what's going on up ahead?"
"It's awful! Terrorists have stopped Elon Musk's limo! They are saying if they don't get $10 million dollars, they are going to burn him alive! So, I'm out here collecting donations."
"That's terrible! How much have you collected so far?"
"Ten gallons. But everyone else is still siphoning...."
I was reading my emails...
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
A man is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.
The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much do most people donate?"
"About a gallon."
