The Best 49 Collecting Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Collecting jokes. There are some collecting shops jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these collecting bins puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Collecting Jokes and Puns

Topical Jokes for 6/1

A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.

In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.

The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a facial-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.

I am completely obsessed with collecting magazines.

What can I say, I have issues.

I decided to sell my Hoover...

Well, it was just collecting dust.

I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner.

It was just collecting dust.

jokes about collecting

Does anyone want to buy a vacuum cleaner?

Mine is just collecting dust at the moment.


A Russian joke about the police.

A police officer is called up by his boss and he says:

-I've been looking through the records and you haven't been collecting your paycheck.

The officer replies:

-Paycheck? I thought we just get a pistol and then we're on our own!

My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment.

Props to him.

Collecting joke, My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment.

I recently sold my vaccum.

It was just collecting dust.

I threw away my vacuumer today

It was just collecting dust..

I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books.

Then I lost It.

I recently decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner

All it was doing was collecting dust

You can explore collecting assemble reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean collecting collection dad jokes. There are also collecting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door

Dad: Great! Give him Granny!

Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon.

They'll take the money and run.

So I'm selling my hoover

It's just sitting around collecting dust.

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.

I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped all the politicians , and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.
Otherwise, they're going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, collecting donations".

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks...

The man replies, "Roughly 2 litres."

Collecting joke, A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road

Yesterday I sold my vacuum in a garage sale

all it was doing was collecting dust.

13 days ago I started collecting all the blankets and pillows in my house...

Tomorrow will be a fortnight.

A man stucks in a traffic jam in US

He sees a foreign man is coming towards him. Foreign man comes and says:

– Terrorists captured Trump, we are collecting donations. If $10.000.000 hasn't given in 1 hour, they will burn him with gasoline.

– How much people donate usually?

– Around 5 gallons.


For sale: Vacuum Cleaner Β£30

Reluctant sale, but it is just collecting dust.

What is an extreme sport?

Doing your homework while your teacher is collecting it.

You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.

No weight, that doesn't make any cents...

Although it's expensive, I've started collecting records.

That's my decision, and it's vinyl.

I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls.

He'd do anything to get a head.

I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

A robber breaks into a house to see a naked couple at it......

He quickly ties them up at gunpoint and goes around the whole house collecting all the valuables, when the tied up man pleads "Please untie her and let her go, you can keep me tied up for as long as you want"
"Do u love you your wife that much? "
"No!" sighs the man "she's the neighbours wife........... it's nearly time for my wife to return from work!!"

Collecting joke, A robber breaks into a house to see a naked couple at it......

I'm going to start collecting highlighters

Mark my words

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.

I need Help.

I used to have a job collecting leaves

I was raking it in


When women get to a certain age, they start collecting cats.....

This is known as the many paws.

A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.

"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.

The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."

"Sir, the police doesn't have balls.", the officer says.

There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.

A woman walked up to me holding a bucket

Excuse me, I'm collecting for the local swimming pool

Well it'll take you bloody ages to fill it with that

My dad had this strange obsession with collecting bottles!

Would be one way to say he's an alcoholic.

My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without actually participating in the races.

It's our running joke


If you think that your microwave is collecting data and the Tv is spying on you is bad enough...

The vacuum have been gathering dirt on your for years...

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.

It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about....



....it's been collecting dirt on you for years.

I've decided to sell the vacuum.

It's just collecting dust.

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

Does anyone want to buy my old vacuum cleaner?

It's collecting dust.

I have started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs.

So far, I've got 15,000 signatures.

Not sure why I bought this air filter machine

It just sits there collecting dust.

My ant farm has 9 ants.

One more and I'll have to start collecting rent.

I think my neighbor is a demon. He bought a bunch of Kia's.

I think he is collecting Souls.

I've lost my job at the farm collecting eggs from chickens.

I've been laid off.

Decided to sell my Dyson…

It was collecting dust.

Do you know what the difference between hoarding and collecting is?

Presentation

Just got a new job collecting litter.

When I asked about training, they said "You'll pick it up as you go along. "

Two lawyers are standing in line at the bank

Two lawyers are standing in line at the bank when a gang of armed men burst in. Some of them start threatening the cashiers while two more go along the line of customers collecting watches, wallets, phones, everything.

As they get closer to the two lawyers one turns to the other and presses a wad of cash into his hand.

"Hey man, here's the $300 I owe you."

I decided to sell my Hoover

It was just collecting dust.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the collecting accumulate puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working collecting collect piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes