Collec Jokes
27 collec jokes and hilarious collec puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about collec that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Collec Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What is a good collec joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?
A melancolony
I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill!
Unfortunately, it was from Fendi, for a pair of shoes.
A collector of rare books ran into a friend who told him he had just thrown out an old Bible that he had found in a dusty old box.
The collector's friend mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed the Bible.
"You don't mean Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You fool! You've thrown out one of the first books ever printed! A copy was recently auctioned off for hundreds of thousands of dollars!"
"Oh, I doubt this book would be worth even nearly as much. Some dude named Martin Luther scribbled all over the margins."
I tried to collect some wool and milk from my farm and the animals went crazy.
It was shear and udder panic.
I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.
The results were exactly what I expected.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
I collect binary variables
Someday I'll be a booleanaire
What is the collective noun for children?
A migraine.
Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things?
The Grim Repair.
What's the collective noun for sneezes?
A choo.
A Collection of "What do you Call"s
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Ideer!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
*Still* no Ideer!
. . .
What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhinoceros?
Elephino, but let's get away from that huge thing!
. . .
If you need explaining, ask in the comments! Thanks for reading!
My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)
Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability to focus making me quiet but don't actually say it)
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?
A riot.
My collection of board game inspired movies was robbed, but I dont know what was stolen
I have no clue
My collection has been ruined ... happens every Christmas.
I collect them in the basement (the Man Cave, of course). But she routinely trades my Muntjac deer (not easy to find in the US, mind you) and Chinese deer and replaces them with garden-variety reindeer every Christmas. I've asked her and asked her.
I am tired of her common deering my Man Cave.
I used to collect clocks when I was younger
I had too much time much time on my hands.
My collection of cemetery jokes
Say them as fast as possible whenever passing a cemetery.
How many people are dead in the cemetery?
All of them.
Why is the cemetery so popular?
People are dying to get in it.
Why is the cemetery so loud?
All the coffin.
Take them with you, share them, enjoy them.
A collection of puns in one text.
[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]
Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.
Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.
Friend: *turns off phone*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always collected my old farts in a jar
and took them with me whenever I had an exam. It's how I passed my classes.
I collect way too much sheet music,
but I assure you, this one is a real score.
I have a collection of captured mosquitoes...
I'm not happy one bit.
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