Collec Jokes

Following is our collection of memorabilia puns and collect one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Collec jokes for adults, dirty madame jokes and clean whore dad gags for kids.

The Best Collec Puns

Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.

* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.

* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.

* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.

* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.

What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?

A melancolony

I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill!

Unfortunately, it was from Fendi, for a pair of shoes.

Collec joke, I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill!

My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.

Adios Omegas.

I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.

The results were exactly what I expected.

Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things?

The Grim Repair.

What's the collective noun for sneezes?

A choo.

Collec joke, What's the collective noun for sneezes?

What is the collective noun for children?

A migraine.

A Collection of "What do you Call"s

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Ideer!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
*Still* no Ideer!
. . .
What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhinoceros?
Elephino, but let's get away from that huge thing!
. . .
If you need explaining, ask in the comments! Thanks for reading!

My collection of dwarf/midget jokes. I'm sorry.

Did you know that there was a dwarf shortage in America?

In other countries, dwarfism is a growing problem.

Dwarves and midgets actually have very little in common.

Did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy?

Yesterday I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall and he looked at me and sneered. I said, "Well that's a little condescending."

How do midgets get girls to date them? They're really good at small talk.

What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?

A riot.

My collection has been ruined ... happens every Christmas.

I collect them in the basement (the Man Cave, of course). But she routinely trades my Muntjac deer (not easy to find in the US, mind you) and Chinese deer and replaces them with garden-variety reindeer every Christmas. I've asked her and asked her.

I am tired of her common deering my Man Cave.

A collection of puns in one text.

[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]

Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.

Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.

Friend: *turns off phone*

My collection of cemetery jokes

Say them as fast as possible whenever passing a cemetery.

How many people are dead in the cemetery?
All of them.

Why is the cemetery so popular?
People are dying to get in it.

Why is the cemetery so loud?
All the coffin.

Take them with you, share them, enjoy them.

I used to collect clocks when I was younger

I had too much time much time on my hands.

I always collected my old farts in a jar

and took them with me whenever I had an exam. It's how I passed my classes.

Collec joke, I always collected my old farts in a jar

My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)

Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability to focus making me quiet but don't actually say it)

I collect way too much sheet music,

but I assure you, this one is a real score.

I have a collection of captured mosquitoes...

I'm not happy one bit.

I collect old cookery books

I have a page from the chef's cookery book from The Hindenberg - a recipe for disaster!

You know collecting knives makes me cool because

they are so edgy.

I was trying to collect every repost of this sub by taking a picture of each one

But my computer doesn't have enough storage

I have a collection of old Jars I can only look at when it's dark.

The Day Jar viewing was getting too repetitive.

The Day Jar viewing was getting too repetitive.

What's the collective noun for gay priests?


What did the collections person say to the board..

You've been surfed!

I used to collect stationary,

...but then I stopped.

Do you have a collection of all of Bender's jokes from Futurama?

Sure. Would you like to have Fry's with that?

What's the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites?

A Senate.

My collection of metamorphic rocks just shrunk in front of my very eyes...

...I must be losing my marbles.

What is the best way to collect driftwood?

Find an illegal drift race.

All the bros standing around without cars will have wood.

There is an abundance of trade jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 30 funniest jokes and collec puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any house witze you can hear about collec.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes