Colleague Jokes

Following is our collection of classmate puns and boss one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Colleague jokes for adults, dirty girlfriend jokes and clean comrade dad gags for kids.

The Best Colleague Puns

A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals.

Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.

My friend was upset that he was passed over for promotion at work by an attractive older colleague.

I said, Don't cry over skilled milf.

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of...

...a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, very serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already."

A mathematician arrives at work on a bike

His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"

"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's naked and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."

"Makes sense", his colleague says, "I don't think you'd look good in a dress".

A doctor received a call from his colleague.

"We need a fourth to join us for a game of golf," said his friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting his pants on, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," he answered gravely. "In fact, they are three doctors there already."


Last night my black colleague.......

Last night my black colleague walked away with the 'Employee of the year' award.

Luckily security stopped him at the door.

Monday morning in the office, a man notices that his colleague is very sad.

At breakfast, he approaches him:What's wrong? You look really beat today.

Don't ask, I had the worst weekend you could imagine.

What happened?

I was visiting an old friend that I haven't seen in years and the family caught me sniffing his sister's underwear.

Okay, that's not nice, but no need to get all misty.

Well, she was still wearing them.

Oh, that's even worse.

Yeah, it ruined her whole funeral.

Sorry, no native english speaker, but i guess you get the point.

My colleague can no longer attend next week's seminar on innuendo...

Now I have to fill her slot...

I think my doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear…

I overheard him telling his colleague that I had, "Serious healthy shoes."

A woman in work was fired for having intimate relations with a colleague.

We don't know who fingered her

A single father needed breast milk for his infant baby and so he asked others how he could get it.

A colleague of his who was lactating offered to give her milk to the baby.

She became his breast friend.


An anesthesiologist asks his colleague, "Man I borrow some chloroform?"

"Knock yourself out."

Tech Support

USER: I can't get on the Internet.

SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?

USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?

USER: Five dots.

Pandemic fun

CUSTOMER: why has your colleague got a larger plastic face covering than you?

SHOP ASSISTANT: that's the supervisor.

Two explorers are exploring the Arctic

After some walking, they come across an igloo.

The first explorer turns to his colleague and says, An ice house!

The second replies, A nice house, indeed!

I wanted something from my colleague so I asked him - How busy are you today?

He replied As busy as a cucumber in a women's prison !

A lawyer walks into a bar.

Says "Hey can I get two beers. One for me one for my colleague who is right behind me. He must have gotten lost."

A minute later the other lawyer walks in and says "Sorry, I passed the bar!"

A Russian judge walks out of has chambers laughing his head off.

A colleague approaches him and asks him why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well go ahead and tell me," says the second judge. "I can't - I just gave someone ten years for it!"

I was watching the weather on TV tonight and the forecaster said, "And because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 5 inches of snow." She then glared off camera and continued...

"Or as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches."


So a work colleague told me that Prince died and they found his body in a lift.

Well, he was obviously coming down with something.

This one's true. A work colleague of mine told me she went to Bangkok on her honeymoon. I replied,

I know you did, but where did you go?

A weird man with a weird condition

The man was never very good at anything.
He had no talents apart from his ability to notice things when he was drunk.
He decided to become a detective.
On his first day he came across a dead body , but he could not make head or tail of the situation.
So he proceeded to ask his colleague , Here's the dead body. Where's tequila ?

What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride?

That's a salt!

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa Claus stops after three ho's.




I don't claim... heard from a colleague of mine.

An ISS astronaut says to his colleague, "I can't find any milk for my coffee."

His friend replies, "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

A Soviet judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off

A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing."I just heard the funniest joke in the world!".

"Well", his colleague says, " Dont keep a good joke to yourself, go ahead and tell me!"

The other judge replies,"I can't – I just gave someone ten years for it!"

We had a job opening with 60 applicants. I threw the top half of the pile of resumes away without looking at them. My colleague asked why I did that.

I replied, "I do not want unlucky people working for me."

My colleague was fired for stealing printer cartridges

He was caught magenta handed.

My Japanese colleague got really angry today after losing his battered prawns.

He really lost his tempura.

Two Scientists Walk Into a Bar

The first scientist says "I'll have some H2O"

The second scientist then proceeds to grab a stool from the bar and throw it at his colleague, realising that the first scientist was trying to murder him.

Did you hear about the white biologist stealing a petri dish from his black colleague?

It was a case of cultural appropriation.

A joke a Polish colleague just told me.

When a Polish man is tasked with killing a German and a Russian, he is asked who he will kill first.

The answer is first the German, after the Russian.

When asking for an explanation, he says 'Duty comes first, pleasure comes after'.

A scientist named Nick asked his colleague about what was smelling here.

"Arsenic", he said.

I finally confronted the colleague drinking whole pot of common office coffee

How do you even sleep at night?

Colleague said "I used to be the most fashionable chick in my batch in college!"

To which "What changed after college?" Is not the apt reply.

I called a colleague inviting him to an orgy.

He asked how many people will be there. I said " if you and your wife come, there will be three of us."

A microbiologist went over to his colleague at the bar and said...

'I see you are also a man of culture.'

My colleagues wanted to do a team building activity, and someone suggested a ropes course.

A few folks were hesitant, but I'm happy to say everyone came. I've never experience such fantastic bondage.

My Indian colleague asked me if black Friday is some how related to black people, I said yes and its manners to wish them "Happy Blacks Friday".

I have a lift off a colleague to work everyday, and always feel ill when we go under bridges....

I think I must have carpool tunnel syndrome.

What did the electrician say to his depressed colleague?

Keep soldering on!

A colleague was let go today......

....after he updated his online status from 'Working Remotely' to 'Remotely Working'

A man in China is very angry at a colleague

And taunts him by saying that he's one in a million.

My work colleague asked me

Why do you keep a picture of your wife on your desk if you hate her so much?


I replied, In case I'm tempted to take a day off.

A blonde's colleague complains that her desk is really messy

A messy desk is a sign of a messy mind he asserts.

and your desk is really empty. says the blonde.

My colleagues at work asked where I kept my garden tools....

"Don't you have a shed in your garden?"
"No."
"So where do you keep your lawnmower?"
"She shares the bed with me."

My German colleague had been trying to reach E.T. for a while now

but it actually turns out he just wanted tech support.

There is an abundance of coworker jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 47 funniest jokes and colleague puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any associate witze you can hear about colleague.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes