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Cold War Jokes

69 cold war jokes and hilarious cold war puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cold war that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Cold War Short Jokes

Short cold war jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cold war humour may include short civil war jokes also.

  1. A friend asked me if I could have any superpower, what would it be. I answered Cold War Russia
  2. My Psychology Professor asked me what Super Power I would like to have... Apparently "Cold War Era Russia" is not an acceptable answer.
  3. Why was the cold war such a long period with little fighting? Because the Russian President was Stalin.
  4. I'm getting sick of all these reboots of old classics Cold War (2022) is not as good as the original.
  5. If Russia is so good at defeating it's enemies in the Winter Then how come they lost the Cold War?
  6. If you could possess any super power, which one would you choose? Cold war Russia is not a valid choice.
  7. TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub.
  8. My friend asked me "if you could have any super power in the world, what would it be?" I said "Cold War Russia."
  9. Two communist soldiers stood by the Berlin wall during The Cold War. Soldier 1: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
    Soldier 2: Yes I am.
    Soldier 1: Then I'll have to arrest you.
  10. What did the paraplegic track event and the Cold War have in common? They were both an arms race.

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Cold War One Liners

Which cold war one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cold war? I can suggest the ones about wars and world war 2.

  1. Why did the Cold War end? Global warming started.
  2. Why was it called the Cold War? Because of all the Icy-BMs!
  3. The Cold War was so anticlimactic... I mean, most of it was just Stalin.
  4. If Russia is so cold... Why did they lose the cold war?
  5. Why did the cold war last so long? The US couldn't stop Stalin.
  6. How do you reheat a cold war? You nuke it.
  7. Why did Russia not deploy their weapons in the Cold War? It was just Stalin.
  8. If I could have any superpower in the world It would have to be Cold War era Russia.
  9. 1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a cold war... 5, 6, 7, 8 loser is a buffer state.
  10. Why did the Cold War never happen? Because Joseph was Stalin.
  11. What do you call it when your body is fighting off an illness? The Cold War.
  12. How did the Cold War end? Global Warming.
  13. What's your favorite super power? Cold War Russia
  14. My friend asked me what superpower I wanted I said cold war Russia
  15. If the Cold War had ended badly, what would've happened? There would've been a fallout.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cold war can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cold war puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Giggle-Inducing Cold War Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about cold war you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean world war two jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cold war prank.

Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.

Superpower

One friend to another:
Friend 1: Hey, if you could have any superpower, which would you choose?
Friend 2: I'd want super strength.
Friend 1: Well I'd want Cold War Russia.
Source: Anthony Jeselnik?

Our marriage is like the cold war.

I wish my wife would be more Russinal.

Want to know how the Cold War was ended?

It was with Robotussin and space heaters.

Why didn't The Cold War happen?

Russia kept Stalin it

Cold War Hungarian Joke

Communism is the noble struggle by the proletariat to overcome problems that only exist under Communism.

Tbh, Russia isin't that good at fighting in the winter.

They did lose the Cold War.

A man walks into a bar and sees h**......

A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.

Yo mama so s**... that.....

she tried to stop the cold war with a heater.

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

If you could have one super power what would it be?

Cold War Russia.

I'm joining a cold war reenactment group.

We get together on weekends and hide under desks.

Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war?

General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.

I was told to book my vacation in time...

This year I'm going to the Renaissance and Cold War era.

Now I know why they called it the Cold War...

They made IceyBMs

How do you combat Global Warming?

Start another Cold War

Why does everyone think Trump is gonna start WW3?

If anything, with today's weaponry he'd start Cold War Part II

Old Cold War joke

A Russian and an American are talking about their countries. The American said, " we have the most freedom in the world, I can march into the White House bang on the president's desk and say sir I do not like how this country is being run." The Russian replied," I can do that too, I can march into the Kremlin, go up to our leaders desk and say sir I do not like how the US government is being run."

What's the difference between a Russian and an American?

Americans think the cold war ended.

America is really good at fighting red things.

We fought Redcoats in the Revolutionary War, the Reds in the Cold War, and r**... in the Civil War.

At the height of the Cold War...

At the height of the Cold War, a landmark summit was convened with leaders from every province within the Soviet Union. The representatives arrived very early but the meeting was still delayed. Why?
They were all Russian, but one was Stalin
Note: made this up after being inspired by a recent joke on here.

How do you make your wife scream after s**...?

Wipe your d**... on the curtain.

Last time we tried to fight SJW

We ended up having a Cold War

During the cold war, I think the world leaders were very confused...

They kept nuking their own countries!

The Cold War

In Poland, during the Cold War, two friends walk in the street : one spies on the other !

I started playing COD Cold War yesterday and ended up playing online against a player called h**.... He got so many kills but...

It was only because he was Kampfing.

Cold war joke.

There's a sale on p**... at the New York Macy's store
An American woman goes to the checkout with 7 p**....
Cashier:" Only 7? They're on sale this week.
The woman replies,"No Thanks,7 is all. One for every day of the week."
Next in line is a woman from France with 5 p**....
Cashier:"Only 5? They're on sale.
"Thank You,but no. I have one for each weekday and on weekends I'm a free spirit(wink wink)
Next in line a great big burly Russian woman with 12.
Cashier: Well 12,that's a nice even amount.
Russian. "Yes 12.....Jan,February,March,April........

Pick a super power

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and starts chatting the bartender up. "If you could have any superpower which one would you want?" he asks the bartender. "Cold war Russia, I guess," the bartender replies.

A Finnish joke from the Cold War

During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.
He replied first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets .
The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.
We are civilized people. Work comes before pleasure , the general replied.

jokes about cold war

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cold war jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.