Cold As Jokes
10 cold as jokes and hilarious cold as puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cold as that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Cold As Jokes with Friends.
What is a good cold as joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Husband and Wife 40th Anniversary
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: 'Here lies my wife, cold as ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reading: 'Here lies my husband, stiff at last."
-Sacha Guitry
What do you give a cold Astronaut?
A space heater.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Russian man dies
Russian man die, but for him suffer not over. Man very wicked, and go to h**.... There devil make punish: he burn in lake of fire. Is warm. Russian man finally happy.
So devil make lake hotter. But Russian man now is warmer. Now is happier.
Devil get very frustrate. So devil make fire lake into ice lake--lake cold as million Russian winter. But Russia man now happiest of all!
"Devil!" he say, "h**... is freeze! Russia is finally happy country!"
But is not true. Is only story.
Also, man not in h**..., only Russia.
During a fight, the husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife: Cold As Ever!"
"Oh yeah?" retorts the wife. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have an unheated bidet
That's cold a**... water
I went to a dinner and when I came back my friend asked me how it was.
"It would have been great if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, the fish as fresh as the maid, and the maid as willing as the Hostess!
What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?
The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.
I Call my wife the, Venus De Milo
She's cold as marble and not all there
I call my ex-girlfriend Titanic Jack
Because she's as cold as ice
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