Coincidence Jokes

Following is our collection of cocks puns and luck one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Coincidence jokes for adults, dirty coincidental jokes and clean zodiac dad gags for kids.

The Best Coincidence Puns

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .

I ran over 2 Miles yesterday

Such a coincidence that both unfortunate fellas had the same name.

Almost all coins look the same

This must be what we call a coincidence

3 men go on a trip.....

They decided to just book just 1 room with 1 bed to save money.

After the first night, the man who slept on the right said, "I dreamed I was getting a handjob last night."

The man on the left said, " I dreamed about getting a handjob too! What a coincidence! "

The man in the middle said, "I dreamed I was skiing."

What is your zodiac sign?

Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence...


Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

Billy and Tommy are in a classroom

Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.


Billy: What are you going up to ask?


Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.


Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.

Good Polish Joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since

I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."

To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"

As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"

"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."

After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'

"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."

"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."

The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."

DRINKING BUDDIES

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City and both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and asks, "So where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!"
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender."It's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

A man steps onto an elevator with a woman inside...

He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"

She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."

The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"

She responds, "$20."

He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the sperm bank, they pay me $100."

She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.


The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"

She responds, "To the sperm bank." with her mouth full.

A dad puts his little girl to sleep...

And the girl says, "Goodbye Grandpa" and the dad asks why she said grandpa, the girl replied, "I don't know it just felt right".

The next day the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just a coincidence.

The dad puts the girl to sleep and a few months later she says, "Goodbye Grandma" and the dad went along with it.

The next day the grandma died and the dad thought that she knew who would die next!

Several weeks later, the dad puts his girl to sleep and the girl says, "Goodbye Daddy" and the dad freaked out when he left the room.

He stayed at the office until midnight jumping at every sound he heard. When he came to his house at 1am and crawls into the bed, his wife says

Wife :: Why were you at work so late?

Husband :: I had a terrible day..

Wife :: What happened?

Husband :: I don't want to talk about it.

Wife :: Well, you won't believe the day I had! My golf pro died right in front of me during golf lessons!

Edit : Formatting


A Frenchman bumps into a English gentleman on a street

"Good day to you sir, what are you up to." says the Englishman.
The Frenchman says "nothing much....what are you doing."


"Oh we are playing Croatia today" answers the Englishman.

"Ah what a coincidence. We are playing them on Sunday you see" replies the Frenchman.

Saint Peter has a day off...

... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.

Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.

After along pause... Of thinking how much of a coincidence it is... Of re-reading what he wrote down. Jesus look up. Tears in his eyes.

Jesus: DAD?!

Man: PINOCCHIO!

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street artist perform.

The act is spectacular, but the four gentlemen are having a tough time getting a good view.

The performer, by some coincidence, notices this and stands up on a large wooden box to give them a better view. He then calls out to them "Can all of you see me now?"

They each reply:

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja."

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean.

The attorney said, I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.

"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything.

The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

3 men go to a hotel late at night

Only one room is left and there is only one large bed to sleep on, the men decide to go and share it.

The morning after...

Man on the left: Guys, I had an awesome dream last night. I hooked up with this smoking hot blonde and got a handjob!

Man on the right: whoa, what a coincidence... I had a similar dream but with a red head!

Man in the middle: That doesn't even touch the dream that I had! I was a professional skier!

FIFA World Cup 2018

A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman

The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"

Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"

Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless.

(The most common first comment I see for every joke is "repost". I just made this one up. If someone came up with the same punchline before, guess what, it's a coincidence. Great minds think alike)

A criminal burgles into a dormitory...

He yells at one of the students:
"I'm looking for money!"
The student calmly replies:
"What a coincidence, I am too!"


When someone says, "I don't believe in coincidences"

I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"

3 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

Now that can't be a coincidence, can it?

A kid goes to a doctor.

The doctor asks:

"So what's your zodiac sign?"


The kid responds:


"Cancer."



The doctor:




"Oh,what a coincidence!"

My Vietnamese friends just got married, but by coincidence share the same last name so there was no hassle...

It was a Nguyα»…n-Nguyα»…n situation.

Three men were waiting outside the labor ward...

A nurse came out to tell the first man: "Congratulations. You are the father of twins." "Twins!"he exclaimed "How about that? I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Co!"

Five minutes later, a nurse came out to tell the second man: "Congratulations. You are the father of triplets." "Triplets!" he said "What a coincidence! I work for the 3M Organization!"

Upon hearing this, the third man stood up & muttered: ''I need some air, I work for 7 up!"

A mathematician , a physicist and an engineer talk about numbers

Mathematician: *Ο€* is the most beautiful number

Physicist: I like *e* most

Engineer: What a coincidence! 3 is my favorite number, too!

What do you call it when a prayer is answered?

A coincidence.

Due to the amount of coincidence that happened for Hitler to become a dictator

We can safley assume that if there is a god, he sure isn't jewish

Hello! Police! I was kidnapped by aliens!

"Sir! Are you drunk?"

"Yes, but it's coincidence."

Today I've been cancer free for 19 years..

And it's also my 19th birthday, what a coincidence!

Dad, what is telepathy?

Well, son, it's when two people think the same thing at the same time.

Oh, like you and mom?

No, son, that would be a coincidence!

So I went to the doctor to check on my exams.

He asked me:
- What's you sign?

Me:
- Cancer

Doctor:
- Now that's a coincidence.

So a lady was waiting at the doctor's...

The doctor is obsessed with the stars, and is a junior astrologist, so, naturally, he asks the woman what her Zodiac symbol is. She responds; "Cancer, why?". "What a coincidence..." Said the Doctor.

Three conspiracy theories walk into a bar...

No way that's a coincidence.

The thing about statistics

The thing about statistics is, if you gather enough, you'll find a coincidence.

Want to know another creepy coincidence?

Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!ο»Ώ

The biggest coincidence of all time

has to be that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease.

Mr. Smith found a doppelganger of his wife.

Mr smith to Air hostess - you look exactly like my wife.

*Air hostess feeling a bit agitated by that remark slapped him.

Mr. Smith - what sheer coincidence, even the habits match too.

Surely it can't be a coincidence that Kermit the Frog and Alexander the Great share the same middle name...

Hmmmm

Two exes are texting..

Male Ex: Just ate a fish taco; it reminded me of you.

Female Ex: What a coincidence, because I ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds. It reminded me of you.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in this case I bought. Coincidence?

Nope. I'm just a massive alcoholic.

A beautiful woman alone, at the end of the bar

A man sees a beautiful woman sitting alone at the end of the bar he walks up to her and asks her her name, and offers to buy her a drink.

Funny you should ask she says I actually named myself. I chose the two things I love the most cars, and men my name is Carmen.

The man says Wow! What a coincidence I also gave myself my own name after the things I love the most.

What is your name? she asks?

The man replies BJ Titsngolf.

It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk.

007 is both James Bonds number and Russias country code, a coincidence...?

...yes, that's a coincidence.

An amazing coincidence happens every year in India

14th Feb Valentines day.
9 months later,
14th Nov Children's day.

Have you ever noticed that American and Canadian coins look basically the same? Is that intentional?

Or is it just a coin-cidence?

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

Coincidence on 34th Street

An 80-year-old man goes to his doctor after undergoing a full body image testing and asks him "What is the result, Doc?"

The doctor asks him "What is your zodiac sign?" Though confused, he replies "Cancer, why?" The doctor turns his head to the man and says "what a coincidence!"

An Englishman and Frenchman are chatting in a bar.

Englishman says "We're playing Croatia tonight."

The Frenchman responds "What a coincidence, we're playing them Sunday."

There's 24 hours in a day, and 24 cigarettes resting on my desk. Coincidence?

No. I'm just an addict.

There's 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in my fridge. Coincidence?

Not really, I'm just an alcoholic.

It's not a coincidence that a lot of conservatives who oppose abortions are also hunters

They know that anything they kill, they have to eat.

Teacher : Can anyone give an example of COINCIDENCE?

Student : Yes, teacher. My mum and dad married on the same day, same time.

doctor: your test results have come

patient: what does it say?
doctor : but first , what is your zodiac sign?
patient: cancer, but why ?
doctor : what a coincidence !

BY COINCIDENCE

By coincidence, the mom from Toy Story had adult toys named Woody and Buzz Lightyear

A man goes to the docter

Man: Well doctor, what's the diagnosis?

Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?

Man: Cancer.

Doctor: What a coincidence!

Is it a coincidence that as soon as Bruce Jenner turns into a female, that she becomes a bad driver?

Too soon?

Coincide and coincidence sound very similar and mean similar things...

It coincides far too well to be a coincidence.

Isn't it a huge coincidence...

That Jesus was born on the same day as Christmas, how crazy is that?!

Isn't it a massive coincidence...

That there are the same amount of national flags and countries in this world.

Cops are ok with a hit/miss ratio of 3/5 on the shooting range.

Coincidence?

Girl:International toilet day and international men's day are on the same date! What a coincidence...

Boy:this is because you ll sit on both of them

Dad, what does coincidence mean?

Weird. I was just about to ask you the same thing.

When you just found out by a coincidence you have two aunts named Lee.

A pair aunt lee just happened

A conspiracy theorist was struck by lightning.

Coincidence?

Dark humour

\- Doctor, what has the workup shown?
\- What zodiac sign are you?
\- Π‘ancer
\- Coincidence...

- Doctor, what has the workup shown?

\- What zodiac sign is yours?
\- Cancer.
\- Coincidence...

What do you call it when two sheep on different sides of the world from each other are shaved identically?

A shear coincidence

There is an abundance of unbelievable jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 67 funniest jokes and coincidence puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any eighty witze you can hear about coincidence.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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