Coincidence Jokes
91 coincidence jokes and hilarious coincidence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coincidence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Coincidence Short Jokes
Short coincidence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coincidence humour may include short incident jokes also.
- One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern. Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
- I ran over 2 Miles yesterday Such a coincidence that both unfortunate fellas had the same name.
- 4 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Now, C'MON! You can't tell me that's a coincidence!
- What is your zodiac sign? Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence... - Golfer: "You must be the world's worst caddy!" Caddy: "No, that would be too much of a coincidence
- At the box office this weekend Predator took first place and The Nun took second. Coincidently, that's how the Catholic Church ranks it's priorities.
- Talk about coincidence BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....
Can't believe they all had the same name. - Did you know Did you know ,
Jack the Ripper and
Whinnie the pooh
Both have the same middle names
Coincidence - A criminal burgles into a dormitory... He yells at one of the students:
"I'm looking for money!"
The student calmly replies:
"What a coincidence, I am too!" - A kid goes to a doctor. The doctor asks:
"So what's your zodiac sign?"
The kid responds:
"Cancer."
The doctor:
"Oh,what a coincidence!"
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Coincidence One Liners
Which coincidence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coincidence? I can suggest the ones about correlation and similarity.
- Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .
- Three Conspiracy Theorists Walk Into a Bar Don't tell me that's not a coincidence
- Almost all coins look the same This must be what we call a coincidence
- Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. *And there's no way that's a coincidence!*
- Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar You can't tell me that's a coincidence!
- It's no coincidence that monogamy sounds so much like monotony.
- When someone says, "I don't believe in coincidences" I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"
- 3 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar Now that can't be a coincidence, can it?
- What do you call it when a prayer is answered? A coincidence.
- Three conspiracy theories walk into a bar... No way that's a coincidence.
- It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk.
- What do you call a series of coincidences? The illuminati
- What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street
- What do you call it when you have 2 of the exact same coin? A coin-cident.
- You don't believe in coincidences? Oh my god! Neither do I!
Giggle-Inducing Coincidence Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about coincidence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean encounter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coincidence pranks.
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
Good Polish Joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish v**.... As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish v**.... Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from l**... Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."
An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...
Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. "To the class of '55!" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, "To the class of '55!"
"Where you from?" asks the first man of the second after they both toast.
"I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."
"You don't say?! I'm from Pittsburgh!"
The two men drink to their hometown.
"What high school did you go to?" Ask the second man as he orders them another round.
"St Ignaius on Lombard Street."
"You're kidding me, I went to St Ignaius!" The two toast the coincidence and sling an arm over each other's shoulders as they begin to fondly reminisce about the old days.
A bar regular walks in and calls out to the bartender, "Hey Steve, what's going on?"
"Oh nothing," Steve replies, "The Johnson twins are drunk again."
How Do You Start a Flood?
An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean.
The attorney said, I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything.
The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?
DRINKING BUDDIES
Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City and both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and asks, "So where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!"
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender."It's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."
The thing about statistics
The thing about statistics is, if you gather enough, you'll find a coincidence.
Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."
By a curious co-incidence, kurt cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."
My Vietnamese friends just got married, but by coincidence share the same last name so there was no hassle...
It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.
A dad puts his little girl to sleep...
And the girl says, "Goodbye Grandpa" and the dad asks why she said grandpa, the girl replied, "I don't know it just felt right".
The next day the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just a coincidence.
The dad puts the girl to sleep and a few months later she says, "Goodbye Grandma" and the dad went along with it.
The next day the grandma died and the dad thought that she knew who would die next!
Several weeks later, the dad puts his girl to sleep and the girl says, "Goodbye Daddy" and the dad freaked out when he left the room.
He stayed at the office until midnight jumping at every sound he heard. When he came to his house at 1am and crawls into the bed, his wife says
Wife :: Why were you at work so late?
Husband :: I had a terrible day..
Wife :: What happened?
Husband :: I don't want to talk about it.
Wife :: Well, you won't believe the day I had! My golf pro died right in front of me during golf lessons!
Edit : Formatting
So a lady was waiting at the doctor's...
The doctor is obsessed with the stars, and is a junior astrologist, so, naturally, he asks the woman what her Zodiac symbol is. She responds; "Cancer, why?". "What a coincidence..." Said the Doctor.
3 men go on a trip.....
They decided to just book just 1 room with 1 bed to save money.
After the first night, the man who slept on the right said, "I dreamed I was getting a h**... last night."
The man on the left said, " I dreamed about getting a h**... too! What a coincidence! "
The man in the middle said, "I dreamed I was skiing."
Today I've been cancer free for 19 years..
And it's also my 19th birthday, what a coincidence!
A man steps onto an elevator with a woman inside...
He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"
She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."
The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"
She responds, "$20."
He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the s**... bank, they pay me $100."
She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.
The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"
She responds, "To the s**... bank." with her mouth full.
Billy and Tommy are in a classroom
Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.
Billy: What are you going up to ask?
Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.
Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.
Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.
Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless.
(The most common first comment I see for every joke is "repost". I just made this one up. If someone came up with the same punchline before, guess what, it's a coincidence. Great minds think alike)
Two exes are texting..
Male Ex: Just ate a fish taco; it reminded me of you.
Female Ex: What a coincidence, because I ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds. It reminded me of you.
What do you call it when 2 people independently start dancing at the same time?
A coincidance.
007 is both James Bonds number and Russias country code, a coincidence...?
...yes, that's a coincidence.
Halloween trick or treat
I remember a story from last year. I was sat in my living room when I heard a small knock at the door. As I opened the door there was a little boy dressed as the Predator, with his dad. I asked "and who are you meant to be?" kneeling down to give him a sweet, "a child Predator" his dad responds. "What a coincidence" I thought.
An amazing coincidence happens every year in India
14th Feb Valentines day.
9 months later,
14th Nov Children's day.
Saint Peter has a day off...
... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.
Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.
After along pause... Of thinking how much of a coincidence it is... Of re-reading what he wrote down. Jesus look up. Tears in his eyes.
Jesus: DAD?!
Man: PINOCCHIO!
Did you know the first Easter and ther first april fools day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
So I went to the doctor to check on my exams.
He asked me:
- What's you sign?
Me:
- Cancer
Doctor:
- Now that's a coincidence.
Hello! Police! I was kidnapped by aliens!
"Sir! Are you drunk?"
"Yes, but it's coincidence."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street artist perform.
The act is spectacular, but the four gentlemen are having a tough time getting a good view.
The performer, by some coincidence, notices this and stands up on a large wooden box to give them a better view. He then calls out to them "Can all of you see me now?"
They each reply:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja."
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in this case I bought. Coincidence?
Nope. I'm just a massive alcoholic.
FIFA World Cup 2018
A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman
The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"
Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"
Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"
A Frenchman bumps into a English gentleman on a street
"Good day to you sir, what are you up to." says the Englishman.
The Frenchman says "nothing much....what are you doing."
"Oh we are playing Croatia today" answers the Englishman.
"Ah what a coincidence. We are playing them on Sunday you see" replies the Frenchman.
An Englishman and Frenchman are chatting in a bar.
Englishman says "We're playing croatia tonight."
The Frenchman responds "What a coincidence, we're playing them Sunday."
Surely it can't be a coincidence that Kermit the Frog and Alexander the Great share the same middle name...
Hmmmm
Mr. Smith found a doppelganger of his wife.
Mr smith to Air hostess - you look exactly like my wife.
*Air hostess feeling a bit agitated by that remark slapped him.
Mr. Smith - what sheer coincidence, even the habits match too.
Due to the amount of coincidence that happened for h**... to become a dictator
We can safley assume that if there is a god, he sure isn't jewish
3 men go to a hotel late at night
Only one room is left and there is only one large bed to sleep on, the men decide to go and share it.
The morning after...
Man on the left: Guys, I had an awesome dream last night. I hooked up with this smoking hot blonde and got a h**...!
Man on the right: whoa, what a coincidence... I had a similar dream but with a red head!
Man in the middle: That doesn't even touch the dream that I had! I was a professional skier!
A mathematician , a physicist and an engineer talk about numbers
Mathematician: *π* is the most beautiful number
Physicist: I like *e* most
Engineer: What a coincidence! 3 is my favorite number, too!
Want to know another creepy coincidence?
Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!
The biggest coincidence of all time
has to be that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease.
Dad, what is telepathy?
Well, son, it's when two people think the same thing at the same time.
Oh, like you and mom?
No, son, that would be a coincidence!
Three men were waiting outside the labor ward...
A nurse came out to tell the first man: "Congratulations. You are the father of twins." "Twins!"he exclaimed "How about that? I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Co!"
Five minutes later, a nurse came out to tell the second man: "Congratulations. You are the father of triplets." "Triplets!" he said "What a coincidence! I work for the 3M Organization!"
Upon hearing this, the third man stood up & muttered: ''I need some air, I work for 7 up!"
Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.
They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.
An astrologer went to the doctor for her lab results.
*Before the doctor could say anything, the astrologer asks* What's your zodiac sign?
Doctor: Gemini
Astrologer: I knew it, Gemini are the most studious of all the zodiac sign.
Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?
Astrologer: Cancer.
Doctor: **What a coincidence.**
A guy goes into a psychologist and says, "Hey Doc, I think I'm schizophrenic."
The doctor says, "What a coincidence that makes four of us!"
The Pope, Billy Graham, and o**... Roberts were in a three-way plane c**... over the Pacific Ocean.
They all died and went to heaven together. "Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter. "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back..."Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "l**..., this is St. Peter. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a few of days. What d'ya say?" Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. However, two days later... St. Peter got a call. "Pete, this is l**.... Hey, you gotta come get these guys. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning.
Guy walks in to an optometrist office and sais "Eye-Doctor"?...
Doctor sais, "oh what a coincidence,
I doctor too"
Three Dad Jokes for Father's Day
* I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
* Why can't you trust atoms? They make up everything.
* Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. That can't just be a coincidence.
Doctor visit
A man went to see his doctor for a physical. As the lab results came in the doctor said, "I have your lab results. Don't mind me asking sir, but what's your zodiac sign?" The patient said his zodiac sign is cancer. The doctor said, "well what a coincidence"...
Doctor: "what's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "I'm a cancer, why?"
Doctor: "oh, what a coincidence!"
An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.
The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."
"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a d**... coincidence..."
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man are chatting in a bar. The Englishman says "We named my son George because he was born on St. George's Day".
The Scotsman says "Wow, what a coincidence! My son is called Andrew because he was born on St. Andrew's Day"
The Irishman says "I can't believe it! Wait till I tell you about our Pancake"
Three old men are lounging in chairs on the beach in the French Riviera.
One of them says, "I had a business but it burned to the ground. With the insurance money I was able to retire here."
Another said, "Well that's a coincidence. I had a business that had a gas leak and blew up and the insurance money allowed me to retire here."
The third guy said, "You're not gonna believe this but I had a business and it was destroyed by a flood and I was able to retire here with the insurance settlement."
After a pause, the first guy asked the third guy, "So who do you call to arrange a flood?"
a professional pickup line
A guy walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting by herself at the bar. He sits next to her and, before he can say a word, she turns to him and says, "I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, for any reason." "What a coincidence," he replies. "I'm a lawyer, too."
Prayer
The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."
One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."
Three conspiracy theorist walk into a bar…
Now you can't tell me that's a coincidence. *rim shot*
