The Best 90 Coin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coin jokes. There are some coin nickle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coin dime puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coin Jokes and Puns

Stupid kid

A barber was doing his business and a kid walked in his shop.
The barber told his customer:
- See that kid, he's the stupidest kid I've ever know. Here I'll prove it to you.
The barber yells at kid to come to him so his customer can watch.
The barber pulls out a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill and asks the kid:
- Hey kid, what do u choose?
The kid takes the 2 euro coin and leaves. The barber:
- See, I told u. He chooses 2 euro coin every time.
The customer walks out and sees the kid around the corner eating ice-cream.
He approaches the kid and asks:
- Do u not know the difference between a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill. Which one is more valuable?
The kid replies:
- I know the difference, but the moment I choose the 5 euro bill, the game is over.

I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious.

Laughing at my ex-pence.

A Boy chokes on a coin

A little boy was playing in his yard when he swallowed a coin that became lodged in his throat. His mother picked him up and ran down the street screaming for help. Luckily, a man ran over and hit the boy hard on the back so that the coin popped out of his mouth. "Thank you so much, doctor!" the mother said.
"Oh, I'm not a doctor, ma'am," said the man. "I work for the IRS"

Coin joke, A Boy chokes on a coin

A mute man swallowed a coin by mistake

he was able to talk for a minute

penny scales

A woman stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and put in a coin.

"Listen to this," she said to her husband, showing him a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," her husband nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."


He raised a pretty good question, actually.

A man and his soon-to-be ex wife were fighting in court over the custody of their young girl. Asked by the judge to present an argument in his favor, the man says: "Well, your Honour, if you slide a coin into a vending machine and a snack comes out, is the snack yours, or the machine's?"

Why was the sacajawea coin made?

because the Trail Of Tears had a toll booth.

Coin joke, Why was the sacajawea coin made?

How do you tell if someone is jewish at a football game?

They leave after the coin toss

My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"

My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"

I replied, "my life."

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

What do you call a coin featuring the image of a spaceship and a rooster?

Badmintin'

(P.s. I'm sorry, this is terrible)

You can explore coin kickstand reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coin cent dad jokes. There are also coin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two students are deciding whether to go to their lecture or the pool on a wonderful summer day...

The first says "How should we decide?"

The second says "How about a coin toss?"

"Sure, you can call it."

"Okay, if we toss the coin and it stays in the air, we'll go to the lecture."

Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz?

Because the exit doors were coin operated.

A Blonde Takes a Test

The professor notices a blonde student flipping a coin as she answers the True/False questions. She finishes long before everyone else, and starts flipping the coin again, sometimes changing her answers.

When she brings her test to the front, the professor asks, "Why were you flipping that coin?"

She responds, "I was checking my answers."

How many coins I have in my pocket?

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"

Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

Coin joke, Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin?

My goal in life is to get my face on a coin.

That way I can be the change I wish to see in the world.

Coining Money.

George Washington: We should put "We Trust In God" on our money.

Thomas Jefferson: Great idea! Did you get that?

Yoda: Yep

I work at a coin factory.

It just makes cents to me.


Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.

One prefers to use its head, while the others relies on tales...

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."

"I want a dragon."

"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"

"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."

"...what color dragon do you want?"

A Rabbi had been saving foreskin

He wanted to make something nice out of his collection so he brought them to leather tanner. When he goes to pick up his product he's surprised that all his foreskin collection only produced a coin purse. The leather tanner explained that if you rub the coin purse it turns into a duffel bag.

A Jew goes up a ladder.

As he reaches the top a pound coin falls from his pocket.

He climbed down to retrieve it and the coin hit him on the head.

If I had a coin for every gender there is..

I'd have two coins.

Obama gave me a coin with Jesus on it.

It was change I could believe in.

An american and a russian went to a bar

A couple of drinks later, the american flips a coin high in the air and shoots a hole through with a revolver, shouting

- BILL, BUFFALO BILL

A moment later the russian whips out three testicles and shouts:

- BILL, CHERNOBILL

A new Β£1 coin is being released in the UK today...

...I don't like change.

Pickup line: If I flip a coin....

What are the chances of me getting head? ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

A divorced couple standing in court over a child custody, the mother makes her claim and says: "I had him in my womb for 9 months, so he is mine"

The judge turns to the father and asks: "and what is your claim?"
The man, smiling, says calmly: "Your honour, when I put a coin in the vending machine, the coke that comes out is mine or the machine's?"

How to start a revolution with change?

Just take a coin and give it a spin.

Someone threw a dollar coin at the Mayor of Detroit

Police are trying to figure out if it's assault or a bailout package.

My friend and I were betting on a coin.

I asked my friend to give me a heads-up before he flipped it.

Pre-2000s, gender was like flipping a coin.

Now it's like rolling a DnD dice.

People who work in coin factories sure are lucky.

They make a lot of money.

Coin flipping contests are rigged!

Just a heads up.

I had surgery to become a 50p coin.

My father always said 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'

My little brother swallowed a coin and was to taken to the hospital

When I asked how he is doing, the nurse said "No change yet!"

I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.

When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!

Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...

A cowboy walks into a bar.

He throws a coin up in the air, shoots at it three times, and says "My name is Bill, Buffalo Bill". After the cowboy, a stranger stands up, pulls down his pants, showing three testicles and says "My name is Bill, Cherno Bill".

A man accidentally swallows a coin

He is then admitted to the hospital, when his friend comes to check on him he asks the nurse on any updates.

The nurse says: "No change yet."

Whenever I'm out drinking I flip a coin

If it lands on heads, I get another drink, if it lands on tails, I flip the coin again

Ajit Pai sounds like..

Khajit, he only wants coin

It is amazing that a Bitcoin is worth $8600

Imagine how much a full coin would cost!

I'm not a fan of the new pound coin

but then again, I hate all change.

My crush is like a coin

Lots of tail, and 50% chance of getting head

When someone says, "I don't believe in coincidences"

I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"

My bit coin game is as good as my pull out game...

5 kids later

Why were people confused when the coin mint broke?

It didn't make any cents!

Carpe Dime

Seize the coin.

Did you hear about the nickel and the penny that got fused together and is haunted?

The coin has the sixth cents

For blind people, there are always two sides to a coin

The one they can't see and the one they can't see either

I don't really understand the function of a coin press...

But I guess it makes cents.

I designed a coin making machine but I couldn't understand why it wasn't working

It just didn't make cents

A friend and I wanted to get a hooker, but we could only afford one hand job so we had to flip a coin...

Luckily I won the toss...

Why did the man decide to work at the coin mint?

It made cents

A korean couldn't find his coin, so basically ...

a korean lost a korean won

How can you tell if a coin is fresh?

You can still smell the mint

Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity...

Should've called it "the Father-figure"

Whoever coined the term "wet nurse" missed a golden opportunity...

A cooler name would have been utili-titty.

*coins falling from the sky*

Me: what is this?
Climate: change

I have a special trick for getting the result I want in a coin flip

It's not perfect, but it works about 50% of the time.

I bought a coin press last week,

...but the manual is in another language. I hope it still makes cents

If somebody offered me a coin flip to either get 10 million dollars or instantly die, I'd accept in a heartbeat. A 50 percent chance to solve all my problems would be amazing!

And even if I lost the flip, I'd still get some money.

If Trump gets a coin every time he gets criticized

He would have built the wall using his own money.

Heard they are getting rid of the 1p coin. Not sure how I feel about this...

On one hand I'm opposed to change but on the other I'm opposed to change.

Why did the man buy a coin printing machine?

It just made cents

In court, a woman asks for custody of her daughter.

Woman claims that she gone through pain by giving birth to her daughter to bring her to this world therefore she should obtain the custody.

Then the judge asks the man for an argument why he should obtain the custody of his daughter.

The man said: "Judge, if you insert a coin into a vending machine and get a bottle of Coke, to whom does the bottle belongs?

Vending machines or yours?

An indoor ant meets an outdoor ant

He says "In the house I was at, there was a very skilled guy; He could throw a coin at a hairdryer and it would turn on. That really blew me away!"

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin.

Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning?"

100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city

Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.

Stranger: What is your name, sad lady

Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat

Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.

What do police budgets and children's coin holders have in common?

Both are piggy banks

If I had a pound coin for everytime I had no clue what was going on

i'd just be wondering why I have so much money

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?

The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.

The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins per month for the rest of the year 2020.

So I guess you could say the coins will return next quarter.

First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.

Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!

Coincidentally, my friend asked me if I knew who Pavlov was while I was taking my intro to Psychology class.

I told him: "yeah, that name rings a bell"

do you know how much of a virgin i am?

even when I flip a coin it wouldn't give me head

Every city I see is protesting for change right now.

I knew America was in a coin shortage, but I never imagined it would get this bad.

Did you hear there is a coin shortage in America?

We're running out of common cents

Almost all coins look the same

This must be what we call a coincidence

My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer...

I guess she'll have to flip a coin....

Heads or Tales.

There is a coin shortage in America

They are officially out of Common Cents

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

Some weird German kid just gave me a gold coin.

Thanks for the gold, strange kinder!

The machine at the coin factory stopped working..

It doesn't make any cents!

Michael takes an exam

Michael is taking an exam at his school. All questions are True or False questions. He hasn't studied so he decides to answer all his questions by flipping a coin.

Once the time is up, The teacher collects everyones exams but notices that Michael is still working. The teacher asks why he's still flipping the coin. Michael replies by saying I was just checking my answers.

What do you say about the coins you toss into a wishing well?

Money well spent

I needed some change in my life

So I decided to start a coin collection. I know it seems odd but it makes cents to me.

I despise when homeless people shake their coin cups at me.

Look, I get it. You have more money than me. No need to rub it in my face.

I invested in a coin making machine

It just made cents.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coin mint jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coin currency piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes