Coffee Mug Jokes
56 coffee mug jokes and hilarious coffee mug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coffee mug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Coffee Mug Short Jokes
Short coffee mug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coffee mug humour may include short coffee cup jokes also.
- My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
*Sips coffee out of bowl* - Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.
- After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed java.
He hates me. - Coffee I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...
I really need to wash some mugs - Why is it smart to ask your coffee mug for advice? Because it always has a handle on every thing.
- Drinking coffee used to make my eyes hurt a little. Then I learned you're supposed to remove the spoon from the mug first.
- A teenager buys his mom some coffee mugs for Christmas... The mom says, "not this again, you already gave me an ugly mug 16 years ago."
- You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups Simply by getting a bigger mug.
- What did the annoyed coffee say when it saw an old acquaintance... Oh jeez, not this mug again
- Thai-English bilingual Nintendo joke What does a Thai man say when he can't find the coffee mug from which he always drinks while customizing his avatar on his Nintendo Wii?
*Mai mii khap!*
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Coffee Mug One Liners
Which coffee mug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coffee mug? I can suggest the ones about coffee maker and coffee bad.
- Coffee is the silent victim in our house... It gets mugged every day.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Someone stole my coffee. He was charged with mugging.
- Courtesy of my 6-year-old: How does a coffee mug fight off dementors? Espresso patronum
- Two coffees were walking down the street... One of them was mugged!
- What Do You Call it When Someone Steals Someone Else's Coffee? A Mugging.
- Someone in the office has stolen my coffee cup It's safe to say I've been mug'ed
- Don't say coffee is better than tea in the UK You might get mugged
- Coffee Has a Rough Time At Work. It gets mugged ever single morning! :(
- Why did the cops hang out at the coffee shop? In case somebody got mugged.
- I finished my coffee and noticed 6 letters written on the bottom of the mug. I C U R M T
- I was poured as a coffee today Guess you could say I was mugged.
- I like my women the way I like my coffee Dissolved in a large mug of boiling water :)
- I've decided I'm going to give up coffee... It's a mug's game.
- What crime was committed against the coffee? He was mugged.
Coffee Mug Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about coffee mug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coffee beans jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coffee mug pranks.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
PTA Meeting
Three fathers are waiting around at a PTA meeting. They are mulling over life, family and education over by the coffee and the doughnuts until the first dad says, 'I recently taught my son Ben about Taxes. Gee, I wish I hadn't though. Every time I ask him to get me a beer now, he cracks open a tinny and downs half. He then proceeds to say, "There's your beer tax Daddy!"'
The second father laughs. 'Yeah, that sounds like when I taught my Daughters Rose and Violet about Unions. They've been on strike ever since, refusing to do dishes and laundry until they get better pay and more candy!' He chuckles again, retreating into his mug of Coffee.
He looks up again and asks the third man what he's done around the home to help his Daughter. He replied, 'Well, I'm starting to regret teaching Mercedes about Prostitution.'
The Native American
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other He says to the waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling
another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to
the waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says,
"Training for position in United States Congress.
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up,
Disappear for rest of day."
A student visits his teacher man early in the morning
And sits on in a chair. The teacher man looks up and offers the pupil a cup of coffee.
"Sure, I'll take a mug of joe," says the student.
The teacher pours a cup, and gives it to the kid. The student takes a sip, and nearly gags.
"The is terrible! Seriously! What is this, mud??"
"Well," the professor replies, "it was ground just this morning."
An over filled coffee mug
is such a buzz spill.
My little girl was staring at the letters on my coffee mug
she's very QRS about the alphabet.... I'll see myself out.
If someone hits you with a coffee mug, have you technically been mugged?
I was feeling sick, but the doctor just put some coffee powder and milk into my mouth...
He was treating me like a total mug.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone was taken down to the police station after they were caught drinking v**... from a coffee cup while driving.
They took a mug shot.
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband...
Wife: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!
Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My local p**... dealer really had it figured out
He also sells coffee makers and multi-colored mugs
Participation ribbons aren't useless
The one in my cup holder keeps my coffee mug from rattling
What did the coffee say when it was poured into the cup?
"Help! I'm being mugged!"
Why do people who drink coffee In the morning always calling the police ??
Because they got mugged
How can you tell if someone is a topologist?
He can't tell the difference between a donut and a coffee mug
Joke my ADHD brain thought of out of nowhere
So the Hogwarts police confiscated a coffee cup suspecting it of dangerous enchantments. Turns out the police that grabbed it drank a bit too much butterbeer. It was just a normal coffee cup that belonged to some arrogant human thief.
It was a smug muggle mugger's mug.