Coffee Jokes
181 coffee jokes and hilarious coffee puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about coffee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whether you're looking for a good laugh at your local coffee shop or searching for a coffee-related pun to use for your Halloween costume, this article has all the best coffee jokes! From coffee bean puns to coffee mugs and even a coffee-inspired Bible verse, you'll be sure to find the perfect joke to enjoy with a cup of your favorite iced coffee or Red Bull.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Coffee Short Jokes
Short coffee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coffee humour may include short brew jokes also.
- Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee" Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"
- I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
- My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, do you smoke or drink coffee? I told him I drink it.
- My 12 year old son tried coffee for the first time today "It tastes like dirt!"
I told him it was just ground this morning. - My husband has left me because I'm insecure Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee :)
- Instead of water, I put redbull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
- I like my women how I like my coffee I'm not fussy, I'll have whatever's available. Thanks.
- I'm really tired of people complaining about the price of everything. $2 for coffee, $3 for coat check, $4 for an hour of parking..... ......I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.
- Simply by replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87%... ...of what little joy you had left in your life
- My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
*Sips coffee out of bowl*
Share These Coffee Jokes With Friends
Coffee One Liners
Which coffee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coffee? I can suggest the ones about cafe and beer.
- I like my women like I like my coffee I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
- Why doesn't michael jackson drink coffee? Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"
- What do you call a sad coffee? A depresso
- What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee
- How does moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
I'll show myself out. - Why does the homeless man only drink coffee? He had no proper tea..
- There is a time and place for decaf coffee Never and in the trash.
- Coffee is the silent victim in our house... It gets mugged every day.
- How does a jew make coffee? Hebrews it
- This coffee tastes like dirt Well it was ground this morning
- I spilled coffee all over my Macbook... ...now it won't go to sleep.
- I like my coffee how I like my men. I don't like coffee. Kidding, I liked it in college.
- I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car Now everyone waves at me
- A politician, a liar and a crooked man enter in a bar. He sits down and drinks coffee.
- Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich, a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.
Coffee Cup Jokes
Here is a list of funny coffee cup jokes and even better coffee cup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sister made me some coffee today Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis
Her: It was good?
Me: I just said it was average. - I was drinking coffee in my pyjamas this morning and I thought: "I really should have bought some cups".
- Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.
- "Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye." "Take the spoon out of your cup."
- Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can hold a cup of coffee in each hand and 6 donuts
- A British man takes a sip of his coffee. And says, This not my cup of tea.
- I hired a guy to represent me in court today. He was very cheap and brought me the best cup of coffee. Unfortunately we lost the case.
He told me next time hire a barrister and not a barista. - I don't like coffee It's not my cup of tea
- Coffee. Not my cup of tea.
- John's mother in-law comes for a visit. So, how long will you stay,mom? As long as i'm welcomed. Oh, that's too bad, you should at least stay for a cup of coffee
Drinking Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny drinking coffee jokes and even better drinking coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool
- A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
"Water" says the Fox,
"Coffee" growls the wolf,
And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel! - My daughter at breakfast this AM: Are you drinking coffee because you're coughy? Me: Are you eating cereal because you can't cereal good?
Wife: 🙄 - Why do all Russian Cosmonauts only drink black coffee? Because in space, no one here use cream.
- After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java.
He hates me. - A period at the end of a sentence can make a big difference Ginny is drinking her coffee
Ginny is drinking her period - Moms Recipe for Iced Coffee Have Kids.
Make Coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
_*DRINK IT COLD*_ - Coffee I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...
I really need to wash some mugs - Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
- Did you hear about the guy breaking into peoples houses and drinking all their coffee? I don't know how he sleeps at night!!
Morning Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny morning coffee jokes and even better morning coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man spits out his coffee "This tastes like mud!" he said.
"Well of course. It was just ground this morning" replied the waiter. - My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews.
- Told the waitress my coffee tasted like mud. "It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "
- My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am He's likes to work hard in the mornings
- My wife threw coffee remnants at me this morning My lawyer says I have grounds for divorce
- What kind of coffee does The Godfather drink in the morning? An alpuccino
- An old Russian anecdote I was driving to work one morning when I saw a woman in a neighboring car doing her makeup at the wheel. I was so surprised that I nearly dropped my razor into my coffee!
- "This coffee tastes like dirt!" "What did you expect, it was ground this morning!"
- This morning, my buddy and his wife had a heated argument about coffee that got really serious It was grounds for divorce.
- Coffee spelled backwards is "eeffoc". Just know that I don't give eeffoc until I've had my morning coffee.
Coffee Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny coffee day jokes and even better coffee day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Since it's my cake day, I thought I'd do an appropriate joke. Why did the coffee cake kill himself? Because his life was so crumby!
- My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch.... So I say to her, look Mum, my house, my prices!
- A son went to his father one day... Dad, I like my women like I like my coffee
But son, you've never liked coffee
Exactly - A women stopped me in the coffee shop the other day claiming she met me through a vegetarian-only dating website... but I had never met herbivore.
- I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man "wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"
- Big Lebowski I used to have a job making coffee on the set of the Big Lebowski. One day they fired me because the lead actor's coffee was too hot. It was an important lesson about burning bridges.
- You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups Simply by getting a bigger mug.
- It was an odd day I got up at 7.
I had three cups of coffee.
I arrived at work at 9
I had one meeting
Then 5 phone calls.
The joke is in the title. - One day in the galley of the Nostromo
: "I can't find any milk for my coffee."
: "In space no one can. Here, use cream." - I want to make a special present for my dad's birthday. How do I make a St. Patrick's Day mocha? He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together
Coffee Shop Jokes
Here is a list of funny coffee shop jokes and even better coffee shop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I stopped at a coffee shop in Glasgow When I approached the barista, I ordered a latte with oat milk.
Stunned and confused, the barista tells me, we cannae make a latte withoat milk - My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop. Suggested he name it Hebrew.
- What is the difference between a coffee shop and a brothel? My girlfriend never asks for a large black at the coffee shop.
- When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.
- I went to a coffee shop. They had some great looking cakes. I pointed to a cake and asked the waiter:
"Is this gluten free?"
He replied:
"No, it costs money!" - A hipster coffee shop would be a terrible idea. Everyone would burn their tongues because they would drink the coffee before it was cool.
- I was working at a coffee shop, and a priest asked if I have any whole milk I said "forgive me father, for I have skim"
- What do you get when you cross a Jew and a coffee shop? Hebrews
- I quit my job as a coffee shop manager The daily grind was just too much
- I visited a coffee shop where the password was "wedonthavewifi". It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Ridiculous Coffee Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about coffee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean espresso jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coffee pranks.
What instant coffee and Sasha Grey
have in common?
3 in 1
I like my women like I like my coffee.
I have a deep respect for coffee and would never discriminate against coffee based on its gender.
A conversation between my mother and my wife.
Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?
A man and his wife were discussing what they thought their son might be when he grew up.
"I have an idea," said the father. He put a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table. "If he takes the money he'll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey he'll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible that means he'll be a preacher."
So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they're hiding.
The boy saunters over to the coffee table. He picks up the ten-dollar bill, looks at it, then sets it down. He picks up the bottle of whiskey, uncorks it, sniffs it, then sets it down. Then he picks up the Bible, leafs through it, then sets it down.
Then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket, grabs the whiskey, and walks off with the Bible under his arm.
"Well how do you like that!" exclaims the father. "He's going to be a politician!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Newfie Joke
A Newfie was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says,
"You remind me of my little toe"
She replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No. I'll probably bang you on the coffee table
later when I'm drunk."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jehovah's Witness Came By Yesterday
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I've put on a p**... of coffee, do you want some? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then motioned toward the kitchen table and we both sat down. We sat and looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before..."
Two ladies meet up for coffee...
The first lady asks if she came on the bus. The other replies, "Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
(I work in a hospital, a patient told me this.)
Nescafe and the Pope
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
coffee."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."
Why did the hipster get burned when he drank his coffee?
The barista make a joke about sleeping with his mother.
"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."
Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.
Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" and some people say, "oh my god, he *did?*" People always say something.
And then *you* say, "he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story."
And you leave it there.
And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.
And you'll eventually be asked, "what's a golf gun?"
To which you say, "don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"
Every year we spend more on coffee than we do on educating our children
how do we sleep at night?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...
...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.
A man opens the door for his moother-in-law
And declares, "Oh, long time, no see! This is a surprise. How long will you be staying with us, this time, then?"
The mother-in-law, trying to be polite, jokinly replies with a big grin, "Until you get sick of me."
"Oh, really? You won't even stay for a cup of coffee?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just thought this when making a coffee, I'm sorry...
I've grown a f**... where I love to lick milk off white women's feet, I've been labelled a racist though... it's not my fault I'm black toes intolerant.
Thank you, thank you very much *hangs head in shame*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I also like my coffee like i like my slaves.
Hand-picked from a third world country.
...I'll show myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much of s**... is work?
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending on how drunk he was at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was your opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
Someone stole my coffee.
He was charged with mugging.
My X made the worst coffee.
I thought it was grounds for divorce.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife wants me to get my coffee at home to save money. If she really wants me to save money she should give me s**... at home.
Wife comes home and finds her husband sipping coffee with another woman
She starts swearing at her husband immediatelly.
He stops her: 'Don't shout at me, this woman has come to see you.'
'Me? You cheating liar, I don't know her at all!'
'OK, let me introduce you then. This is Carol, wife of your lover…'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Blondes meet up for coffee...
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.
An old, blind cowboy wanders into a bar....
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin are taking a coffee break in Yalta...
Churchill takes out a small black notebook and starts writing something down.
"Taking notes?", Roosevelt asks.
"No," Churchill says, "I heard a new political joke about myself this morning. I collect all jokes about myself. I already have over 100 in this notebook."
"How funny," Stalin says. "I collect all jokes about myself too."
"Oh, really?" Churchill says. "So how many have you got?"
"Three prison camps so far."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
Why is it impossible to electrocute a barista?
Coffee grounds.
How do you feel when there's no coffee?
Depresso.
When does a lawyer make coffee?
When he has sufficient grounds
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...
But not my Sister.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women how I like my coffee:
Diluted and festooned with so much sweet, pretty b**... I feel like a fraud for liking them at all, yet possessed of an underlying bitterness and complexity that I secretly fear I will never truly understand or appreciate.
This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.
I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
I didn't bother leaving a tip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.
The tea and coffee are married, but the tea leaves.
Does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on."
After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied, "…but I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
A guy walks into a cafe and orders a coffee to go
The coffee gets up and leaves
Why do kids hate coffee, but adults enjoy it?
Because, when you're a kid, coffee is the bitterest experience you've had in life.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
I once mixed Red Bull and coffee
After 20 minutes on highway I noticed that I forgot my car at home
My boyfriend left me because of my anxiety issues...
Oh, wait. He just went to the kitchen to grab some coffee.
One for $1, three for $4
A man is walking up to a coffee stand to get his daily cup of coffee for $1, when he notices their new special where you can buy three cups for $4.
I'd like a cup of coffee, said the man, handing in a dollar bill.
He realizes he can cheat the system by buying two more cups of coffee, and saving a dollar. I'd like two more cups, please, he said, handing in another $2.
Afterward, he asks the guy in the stand, Why are you selling three cups of coffee for $4 when you could buy three separate cups for $3?
To which the stand dude replied, you could've just bought one cup like you do every day.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Thrown into a burlap sack and transported illegally across Central America.
Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....
Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats black and doesnt work?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist
I like my women how I like my coffee
*Sips tea*
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
Did you hear about the Starbucks no-mask deal? Mask-less customers who buy a Grande hot coffee today...
Will get a free Venti later
My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee
Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman woke up in the middle of the night and found that her husband wasn't there beside her.
She went downstairs and found him sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and looking thoughtful.
"Honey, what's wrong?, she asked.
He replied, "Well do you remember when we were dating?"
"Yes"
"And do you remember the first time we had s**...?"
She smiled and answered, "Of course."
"And you remember how your Dad caught us."
She laughed and replied, "Oh god, yeah!"
"And since I was 18 and you were 17 how he threatened to send me to jail for twenty years if I didn't marry you?"
"Uh huh. What of it?", she asked.
He let out a sad sigh, "I would have gotten out today..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my men how I like my coffee...
Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my t**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)
The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?
She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have found that I have been happier since I switched from coffee to orange juice.
My Dr. explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugars but I really think it's the v**....
An old man is eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walk in.
The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man's pancakes.
The second biker spits out his tobacco in the old man's coffee.
The third biker takes the entire meal and shoves it off the table.
The old man, without saying so much as a word, gets up, pays the waitress, and exits the diner. The bikers laugh and sit at the old man's table. "Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.
"Not much of a driver either," says the waitress. "That man just drove his 16-wheeler over three bikes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four Surgeons are getting coffee
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."
A Jewish man does not make instant coffee.......
Hebrews...
I like my coffee the way I like people.
I don't like coffee.
