The Best 71 Coffe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coffe jokes. There are some coffe latte jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coffe cocoa puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coffe Jokes and Puns

I like my coffee how I like my women

Ground up, in a bag, and in the fridge. ahh, the nice bitter taste of it...

why can't coffee conduct electricity?

because it is grounded

Two coffees were walking down the street...

One of them was mugged!

Coffe joke, Two coffees were walking down the street...

I like my Coffee, like my President. . .

Black with some cream. But don't acknowledge the cream because it's so much more impressive to have it straight black.

My coffee wasn't strong enough.

So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.

I also like my coffee like i like my slaves.

Hand-picked from a third world country.

...I'll show myself out.

Coffee Joke [OC]

So the coffee asked the creamer, "Are you outraged by our working conditions too, or do you support management?"

The creamer replied, "I'm half and half."

^^^I'm ^^^Sorry.

Coffe joke, Coffee Joke [OC]

Coffee maker in the IT department doesn't work

Try reinstalling Java.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again.

Why were the coffee beans upset?

Because they were grounded.... Or black I am not sure.

My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today

Dark and full of shots.

You can explore coffe iced reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coffe teaspoon dad jokes. There are also coffe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I like my coffee like I like my women...

I've heard multiple versions of this joke. Please comment with you're favorite.

Life is like a cup of coffe.

Dark and bitter.

How do you take your coffee?

**Barista:** How do you take your coffee?

**Customer:** Ferguson Police

**Barista:** Huh?

**Customer:** Black, two shots.

What does a coffee pot say when it's feeling sorry for itself?

Pour me...


Courtesy Waffle House marketing team from an email i received today.

I Like My Coffe Like I Like My Slaves


Coffe joke, I Like My Coffe Like I Like My Slaves

What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common?


I think my coffee pot is an alcoholic

It gets drunk at least once a day even when no one else is around

Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator?

Because it's not called a purconow.


Coffee: you haven't had enough until you can thread a sewing machine needle while it's running.


If you're British, it may not be your cup of tea.

Coffee is the silent victim in our house...

It gets mugged every day.

Why is Starbuck's coffee so high on the pH scale?

It's the most basic drink there is.


Not my cup of tea.

I like my woman like I like my coffe

With no pubic hair.

Coffee Humor

At work this morning I was informed a coworkers Dad had died. Another co workers wife had a baby.
Later I saw my boss at the coffee pot. I said " just so you know Jeff's Dad died. On a lighter note Bill's wife had a baby. So we're at a net zero."

Why did the coffee burn the hipster?

Because it was hot.

Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich,

a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.

If coffee is my favorite drug, then what is coffee's favorite drug?


Between the Coffee and the Cocaine

I think it's Colombia's mission to keep the world awake.

What are coffee shops in Russia called?


Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

Do you know the difference between a potty and a coffe pot?

No? Don't you ever invite me for coffee!

Between Coffee and Cocaine…

…it seems like the country of Colombia just wants to wake up the world.

Where does coffee go when it dies?

A bitter place.

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

What do you call a sick cup of coffe?

A coughy mug

My girlfriend: "Did you forget to turn on the dishwasher?"

Me: *sipping coffe from a vase*
"No, why?"

Don't say coffee is better than tea in the UK

You might get mugged

Coffee drinking trio

3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.

1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.

2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.

3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.

I have a coffee sweater.

I put it on over my tea shirt.

Coffee filled to the brim

Boss : Muthu, how do you get it right? For 30 years you have been bringing me coffee filled to the brim every morning without spilling it?

Muthu: Before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.

Coffee News Gem

Game Warden: Fishing?

Person without fishing license: Nah, drowning worms.

Coffee Has a Rough Time At Work.

It gets mugged ever single morning! :(


I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...

I really need to wash some mugs

Got my coffee this morning, full of grounds, ugh.


I like my coffee the way I like my slaves


I like my coffee like I like my women.

I don't like coffee.

Coffee is the most silent victim ever.

It gets mugged every day.

I like my coffee like my women.

Someone secretly replaced my woman with Folger's Crystals. I can't tell the difference.

I like my coffee like I like my women...

...Ground up in the freezer.

I like my coffee like I like my women...

Full of whiskey.

Coffee spelled backwards is "eeffoc".

Just know that I don't give eeffoc until I've had my morning coffee.

This coffee tastes like dirt

Well it was ground this morning

I like my coffee how I like my women

Dark, delicate, and shipped to me in a box straight from Colombia

So an Australian walks ito a cafe and orders coffe

The barista says want any creamer

The Australian replies Just coffee, mate


If your eyes hurt when you drink coffee.....

You have to take the spoon out!

My coffee this morning is like my ex

Hot and bitter

I like my coffee like I like my women

Sent back for not being hot enough

I like my coffee like Hamilton liked the source of his income.

Black, and made by my wife.

"This coffee tastes like dirt!"

"What did you expect, it was ground this morning!"

I like my coffee like I like my slaves....!

I don't like coffee

It's not my cup of tea

I like my coffee like I like my coffee.


even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14

Extremely basic

Before coffee....Hating everybody.

After coffee.....Feeling great about hating everybody.

What did the coffee do after it got mugged?

It got drunk.

My coffee stays in house

It's grounded.

I like my coffee the way I like people.

I don't like coffee.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves

Free! You're all a bunch of racists.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Without an OnlyFans page.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coffe caffe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coffe mug piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes