The Best 81 Code Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Code jokes. There are some code programmers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these code syntax puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Code Jokes and Puns
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
I want to work for YouTube.
It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!
99 little bugs in the code...
99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh.
What was the code to hitler's secret bunker?
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!
3 days ago I got a pass-code lock that takes a picture whenever someone enters the wrong code in my phone.
So far I have 26 pictures of drunk me.
BUSH AND BILL Jokes
Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House?
A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also "Mr. Bush."
What do you call an apology written using dots and dashes?
Re-morse code
When my SO is sad, she likes to code.
So I give her some
A code tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying.
Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2?
It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!
Developer accused of unreadable code refuses to comment
You can explore code unreadable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean code document dad jokes. There are also code puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs.
Take one down, patch it around...
127 little bugs in the code.
Chuck Norris jokes
When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.
You know it's love when
you let her commit to your source tree without reviewing her code.
My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing.
She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.
Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades.
Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible?
No comment.
Use the promo code Netflix for 15% off of your grades
24 bugs in the code 24 bugs in the code...
Take one down patch it all out... 78 bugs in the code...
What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad?
+4407
99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code...
Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code.
How do telegraph operators apologize?
Remorse code
This actually just happened...
*Wife: I wanna get into coding.
*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?
*Wife: English. Duh!
•••---•••. I regret that
Remorse code
Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code!
Dog: [taps paw]
Me: What did it say??
Scientist: "Woof."
When you f**k up a coded message and have to send it again
Re morse
What's the programmer's favorite drug?
A line of code.
What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?
Remorse code
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." --career advancement program at my job
Then they fired me for violating the dress code at the bank. Hypocrites. How am I ever going to become a sumo wrestler now?
Why can't Buddhists learn binary code?
Because they are at one with everything.
I was invited to a party...
The dress code said "black tie only".
But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too
Trinity: "I really can't stay." Neo:
"Baby it's code outside."
A child tells her mother "Daddy says he needs to borrow your typewriter"...
The woman smiles, knowing this is their secret code for sex, but knowing she is on her period, tells her daughter "Tell Daddy that my typewriter only has red ink right now." So the child goes to tell her father.
The next day, the mother tells her child, "Tell Daddy he can use my typewriter now." When the child comes back, she tells her mother. "Daddy said he borrowed the neighbors typewriter."
On a scale of 1 to 10…
How would you rate binary code?
Why should you wear a condom when writing C++ code?
It's full of std vectors.
99 programming bugs in the code
.
99 programming bugs.
Take one down, patch it all up.
111 programming bugs in the code.
What did the coder say to his coder girlfriend?
You had me at "hello world".
The tech manager said that none of the programmers will be allowed to work from home.
Because she'd have no way of checking if they were following the dress code.
NOTE: This is actually what she said and not as a joke. All I'll say is it's a hospital in northern Ohio.
How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message?
Remorse Code
The bro code
Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.
Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.
A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a buddy's house after getting too drunk.
Jill called his ten best friends. 8 said he'd been there the night before, while 2 said he was still there.
What language did the Viking secret service use to communicate in secret?
Norse code.
I was walking by a house the other day that was being worked on and the guy hammering on the roof called me a paranoid little weirdo.
In Morse Code.
My boss asked me why I don't like to code in Python.
I just find it too constricting.
A Scientist is with his peer
The peer asks the scientist, "What are you working on?"
The scientist says, "Its amazing. I taught a dog how to communicate to humans with morse code!"
The two walk down the hall to see the dog and the scientist gives the dog a command. The dogs taps his paw on the ground with intervals of time creating letters in morse code.
The peer says, "What is he saying?"
The scientist says, "Woof."
What codename does the CIA give to all of their sleeper agents?
Justin Case.
Do you sell a book "How to get rich in three months"?
Clerk: "Yes we do sir, can I recommend another book with that, other buyers have found it very useful?"
Guy: "Of course, I would gladly take a look, what is it?"
Clerk: "Penal Code - Commented edition"
A journalist asked a programmer:- What makes code bad?
No comment.
What are the first three numbers of an opera singer's phone number?
aria code
I began speed reading, and just last night I read The Da Vinci Code in fifteen minutes.
I know it's only 4 words, but it's a start.
We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it's 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson's Creek?
It's 90108 (for our lives to be over)
If the ZIP code for Beverly Hills is 90210, what's the ZIP code for Dawson's Creek?
90108
(for our lives to be over)
Why can't women in Texas legally get tattoos?
It is the code of the west... never draw on a woman.
I used to code a lot of HTML
but now it's just some
that I used to knowScandinavia has a bar code on all of their battleships to keep track of them.....
When the ships enter the harbor, they scan-da-navy-in.
What does a programmer wear?
Whatever is in the dress code.
If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...
...they'd even know my birth year!
I just heard a woodpecker call me a paranoid...
.... in morse code.
Homie: Do you know how to write "s" in morse code?
Me: ...
What do Spanish programmers code in?
Si ++
Two spies got caught using a book code to communicate
Clearly they weren't on the same page.
What Do You Call An Apology Written Only In Dots & Dashes ?
Re-morse code
Kim Jong Un released a statement today
I don't know what it said it must've been Morse code, all it said was *beep* *beep* *beep* *beeeeeep*
Emo girls be like- how much am I worth...
Girl scan the code on your wrist
What is a brothels dress code?
No shirt, no shoes, no cervix.
What do you get when a climate change activist creates computer code?
An Al Gore Rythym
What goes bjork-bjork-bjork fjergen-fjergen-fjergen bjork-bjork-bjork?
Norse code
My Norwegian friend sent me a program he created...
...call that Norse code.
99 critical bugs in the code... 99 critical bugs. Track one down, patch it when found...
100 critical bugs in the code.
Friday afternoon I'm walking home from school
and I'm watching some men build a new house. The guy hammering the house called me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code.
A doctor has sex with a patient
A doctor has sex with a patient. And the guilt is killing him, it goes against the ethics code every doctor swears by.
So one part of his brain tells him: "don't worry, you're not the first guy to sleep with a patient, and you definitely won't be the last. You're a bachelor too, it's fiiiine"
The other part of his brain says: "Bro, you're a vet"
How do viking ships communicate with each other?
Norse code
I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up
How do sad people communicate?
Morose code.
A girl once told me she was LGBTQ
I said, I asked for the homework, not the among us code.
What is Thor's favorite method of communication?
Norse code.
The pimple on my forehead is enormous.
It practically has its own zit code.
People be like LGBTQA
Like bruh I didn't ask for Among Us code
If dolphins could code...
they'd program in C.
How did the cryptographer tell his wife he was sorry again?
Re-morse code.
All Swedish battleships have a UPC code printed on the hull.
When the ships return to port, it helps them Scandinavian.
Bugs in C code should be called fishes
Because fishes are found in the sea
Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance!
All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the code confession code jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working code zip code piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.