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Cod Jokes

60 cod jokes and hilarious cod puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cod that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your way through this collection of hilarious jokes about cod fish! From Cape Cod, Ghost Cod, Murray Cod, Cod Eye, Cod MW2, and even Tuner and Softball, these fishy jokes will have you in stitches. Get ready for a great time!

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Funniest Cod Short Jokes

Short cod jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cod humour may include short softball jokes also.

  1. What'd the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod. Any cod.
    (Ayyy, my 8yo loved it. )
  2. My pet fish is a gamer His favorite game is cod

    (this is my first post on here please be nice)
  3. I got hit in the head when someone threw a can of cod liver oil at me yesterday... Luckily the damage was just super fish oil
  4. The difference What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?
    One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.
  5. drunk guy goes into a library And says: GIMME A SMOKED COD N CHIPS!"
    the librarian says "Sir this is a library!"
    So the guy whispers: "sorry, gimme a smoked cod n chips"
  6. I heard President Trump is a really good COD player. Apparently he can tomahawk from across the map on command.
  7. Today, I found out there are places that sell fake scallops made out of white fish... there are a lot of cod artists out there.
  8. Activision stated that there would be no loot boxes or weapons tied behind something you have to pay for in the newest CoD Lol who is buying that.
  9. An atheist and a religious zealot met for dinner and ended up in a huge argument. What was for dinner? Cod
  10. Want to Hear A Fish Pun? I'm gonna tell you one for the halibut.
    I hope I dont flounder this pun.
    Your gonna be saying Oh Cod why by the end of it.

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Cod One Liners

Which cod one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cod? I can suggest the ones about salmon and plaice.

  1. CoD ww2 is so realistic... Even the servers are from 1941.
  2. Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it.
  3. As a Marxist I could never play CoD, because I refuse to create a class.
  4. So I bought the new cod game. Best fishing simulator ever.
  5. Why was jesus bad at COD He respawns after 2 days
  6. What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch? There is no cod
  7. Why are Macedonians so good at CoD? Because they know Skopje.
  8. How did Captain Bird's-eye die? He was battered by a cod.
  9. COD Rolled the Dice but Battlefield 1
  10. Do you believe in cod? Because I reely trout it exists.
  11. What do fish do to pass the time? Play cod games
  12. Why did the salmon pray everyday? Because he believed in cod.
  13. What do you call a fish that snipes and can respawn? A COD fish
  14. What do people from Cape Cod say to their butts? Hyannis
  15. Why is CoD like women? Search and Destroy.

Cape Cod Jokes

Here is a list of funny cape cod jokes and even better cape cod puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's a gay man's favorite part of Cape Cod? Just the tip.

Howlingly Hilarious Cod Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about cod you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishmonger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cod pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing f**.... She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

A man walks into a fish & chip shop to order the evening meal.

He asks for two cod & chips.
Owner: Apologies, we don't have any cod.
Man: Ok… I'll have two cod & chips then.
Owner (slightly irritated): Sorry, we haven't got any cod, like I said.
Man: Sorry, sorry!… I'll just have two cod & chips then.
Owner (now irate): Look mate, we've got no cod! C-O-F-D COD!!
Man (confused): There is no F in cod.
Owner: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I started playing COD Cold War yesterday and ended up playing online against a player called h**.... He got so many kills but...

It was only because he was Kampfing.

Why was the fisherman upset with his new property?

After selling his sole for a small plaice perched by the sea (something to the tuna 500 square feet), he found something fishy within contract and realised he cod do better if he weren't such a cheap-skate.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the b**... say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is a profane chef's least favorite fish to work with?

Cod, d**....

A request for Fish Jokes

My girlfriend really likes and jokes and fish. But when looking for fish jokes on the web i did not find anything except:
"What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod"
"Why don't fish play basketball? because they are afraid of nets"
"What did the fish say when he posted bail? I'm off the hook!"
Does anyone have any good fish jokes to share?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A wallhacker joins a COD game,

he comes a cross this o**... who is pretending to be a soldier. The soldier says "Alright, men. We need to step it up", the wallhacker replies: "I don't see any men here, just a bunch of squares."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Fisherman got jokes...

A little fish humor for everyone.
"Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"
"Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"
"You s**..., that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The MLG cod player lost his dad after a car c**...

I heard he wasn't FaZed

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I tried to upload the COD: Infinite warfare trailer to pornhub

But they don't accept r**....

What is D.B Cooper's favorite CoD map?

Hijack

What do you call a domestically abused fish?

Battered Cod

What is the motto for the fish stick factory?

In cod we crust.

Caught a cod today

Caught a 21lb cod today but the line snapped when trying to pull it in.
How did you know it was 21lb?
Had scales on it back :)

What do you call two gay COD players?

Tactical insertion.

What did Eminem say after getting turned into a fish?

"I'm beginning to feel like a rap cod"

Mixing Cannabis and Cod Liver Oil is bad!

For your joints.

What's a fisherman's favorite video game?

COD

jokes about cod