The Best 52 Cod Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cod jokes. There are some cod puffer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cod salmon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cod Jokes and Puns

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

CoD WW2 is so realistic...

Even the servers are from 1941.

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

As a Marxist I could never play CoD,

because I refuse to create a class.

I started playing COD Cold War yesterday and ended up playing online against a player called Hitler. He got so many kills but...

It was only because he was Kampfing.

My pet fish is a gamer

His favorite game is cod

(this is my first post on here please be nice)

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

So I bought the new cod game.

Best fishing simulator ever.

I got hit in the head when someone threw a can of cod liver oil at me yesterday...

Luckily the damage was just super fish oil

Why was jesus bad at COD

He respawns after 2 days

What did the magician with a speech impediment say to the fisherman?

Pick a cod, any cod.

You can explore cod softball reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cod koi dad jokes. There are also cod puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why was the fisherman upset with his new property?

After selling his sole for a small plaice perched by the sea (something to the tuna 500 square feet), he found something fishy within contract and realised he cod do better if he weren't such a cheap-skate.

A magician walks up to a fisherman's booth.

The magician pulls a quarter from the fisherman's ear. The fisherman looks at the magician annoyed. The magician says can you do any better? The fisherman says sure and then pauses. The magician says annoyed "How are you going to start the trick. The fisherman just says... Pick a cod, any cod!

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

because it couldn't survive in the Battlefield.

I heard President Trump is a really good COD player.

Apparently he can tomahawk from across the map on command.

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

Today, I found out there are places that sell fake scallops made out of white fish...

there are a lot of cod artists out there.

What is a profane chef's least favorite fish to work with?

Cod, dammit.

A request for Fish Jokes

My girlfriend really likes and jokes and fish. But when looking for fish jokes on the web i did not find anything except:

"What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod"

"Why don't fish play basketball? because they are afraid of nets"

"What did the fish say when he posted bail? I'm off the hook!"

Does anyone have any good fish jokes to share?

What did the fisherman say to the card magician

Take a cod, any cod you want

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

The difference

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

How did Captain Bird's-eye die?

He was battered by a cod.

A wallhacker joins a COD game,

he comes a cross this one guy who is pretending to be a soldier. The soldier says "Alright, men. We need to step it up", the wallhacker replies: "I don't see any men here, just a bunch of squares."

COD Rolled the Dice

but Battlefield 1

Do you believe in cod?

Because I reely trout it exists.

What do you call a square that looses at COD?

A rektangle

Fisherman got jokes...

A little fish humor for everyone.

"Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"

"Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"

"You sucker, that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"

What do fish do to pass the time?

Play cod games

Why did the salmon pray everyday?

Because he believed in cod.

What do you call a fish that snipes and can respawn?

A COD fish

Why are Macedonians so good at CoD?

Because they know Skopje.

Activision stated that there would be no loot boxes or weapons tied behind something you have to pay for in the newest CoD

Lol who is buying that.

An atheist and a religious zealot met for dinner and ended up in a huge argument. What was for dinner?


What do people from Cape Cod say to their butts?


The MLG cod player lost his dad after a car crash

I heard he wasn't FaZed

Want to Hear A Fish Pun?

I'm gonna tell you one for the halibut.
I hope I dont flounder this pun.
Your gonna be saying Oh Cod why by the end of it.

i was walking down the street, when someone threw a packet of cod liver oil at my head........

.......but i only suffered super fish oil injuries

I tried to upload the COD: Infinite warfare trailer to pornhub

But they don't accept rape.

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What is D.B Cooper's favorite CoD map?


What do you call a domestically abused fish?

Battered Cod

What is the motto for the fish stick factory?

In cod we crust.

Drunk girls are like COD campers when they go peeing...

...hiding behind a bush or tree and pressing circle...

Caught a cod today

Caught a 21lb cod today but the line snapped when trying to pull it in.

How did you know it was 21lb?

Had scales on it back :)

What do you call two gay COD players?

Tactical insertion.

What did Eminem say after getting turned into a fish?

"I'm beginning to feel like a rap cod"

Mixing Cannabis and Cod Liver Oil is bad!

For your joints.

What's a fisherman's favorite video game?


What's a gay man's favorite part of Cape Cod?

Just the tip.

There was a fight outside a chippy the other day....

... a poor cod got battered

I made a joke XD

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

*Tactical Insertion.*

What do you call it when a COD player gets laid?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cod betta jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cod monger piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes