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Coconut Jokes

100 coconut jokes and hilarious coconut puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coconut that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a selection of funny coconut jokes! From puns about coconut oil to jokes about coconut tree, to funny lines about wasa and coconut cream pie, get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious coconut jokes!

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Funniest Coconut Short Jokes

Short coconut jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coconut humour may include short cocoa jokes also.

  1. Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle. Coconut.
  2. I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized... I don't even *have* a coconut...
  3. The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible... I'm sad as a coconut.
  4. My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion So I threw a coconut at her
  5. My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry So I broke his nose with a coconut.
  6. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
  7. What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside? A coconut!
  8. My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry. I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.
  9. My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I killed his mom with a coconut.
  10. My friend thinks he is so smart. He said the only food that can make a person cry is onions... until I hit him in the face with a coconut.

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Coconut One Liners

Which coconut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coconut? I can suggest the ones about palm tree and cashew.

  1. How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy? You put a bounty on his head.
  2. Me : Shaking a magic 8 ball.. "Will my vision ever get better??"
    Coconut :
  3. Roses are red, violets are blue My girlfriend is gone
    This coconut will do
  4. My friend said an onion is the only food that can make you cry I threw a coconut at him.
  5. What's the best thing to beat a dead horse with? A coconut.
  6. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
  7. What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut? The coconut
  8. If you're the assistant to the assistant lunatic... You're a coconut.
  9. I'm losing my 30 year old virginity on Halloween. I'm dressing up as a coconut.
  10. How do you know a palm tree is getting old? It's coconuts hang lower than its trunk.
  11. What type of fruit loves chocolate the most? A Coconut.
  12. I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo I haven't even got any coconuts.
  13. What do you call the other side of the coconut? A cocobutt
  14. What did one coconut say to the other? Oh my god a talking coconut!
  15. Where does coconut milk come from? Coconut cows.

Coconut Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny coconut oil jokes and even better coconut oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.
  • If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.
  • Why should you cook kale in coconut oil? Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.
  • If we get olive oil from squeezing olives, and we get coconut oil from squeezing coconuts…. Where does baby oil come from?
  • Almond oil is made by crushing almonds, Peanut oil is made by crushing peanuts, coconut oil is made by crushing coconuts.
    I really feel horrible about all those babies.
  • Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
  • If coconut oil is made with coconuts, Almond oil is made with almonds,
    Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,
    Then I surely know what baby oil is.....
  • Why do people always put coconut oil on kale? So it's easier for it to slide into the bin.
  • They say that coconut oil is good for hair. I'm wondering why coconut has bad hair itself?
  • [Life Pro Tip] when cooking Kale.. add some coconut oil.. It makes it easier to scrape into the trash bin..

Coconut Tree Jokes

Here is a list of funny coconut tree jokes and even better coconut tree puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A monkey, chimp, gorilla and King Kong tries to take bananas from a coconut tree. Who will get it? Neither! Coconut trees don't grow bananas!
  • What did the coconut tree say to the wind? Hey!!! You blowing me nuts off!
  • What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular b**...!
  • What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary b**....
Coconut joke, What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Coconut Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny coconut day jokes and even better coconut day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I bought coconut shampoo the other day but it wasn't until I got home that I realized... ...I don't even have a coconut...
  • A vegan told me I shouldn't eat animals because I can't kill or butcher them with my bare hands... So I gave him a coconut and told him to have a nice day.

Coconut Milk Jokes

Here is a list of funny coconut milk jokes and even better coconut milk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • for an organism to be classified as a mammal, they have to have hair and produce milk by that logic, a coconut is a mammal
  • Hi, this is Coco Want some Coconut milk?
  • Someone was told me that they were an actor. I told them I wanted coconut milk in my chai latte.

Coconut Water Jokes

Here is a list of funny coconut water jokes and even better coconut water puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does H20+co+co= Coconut water!
  • They say that coconut water is good for hair. Now, I understand why my p**... are growing like crazy recently.
Coconut joke, They say that coconut water is good for hair.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Coconut Jokes

What funny jokes about coconut you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean almond jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coconut pranks.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm?

Hold on to your nuts, it will only be a quick blow.

Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign.

So I threw him a coconut.

My friend told my that onion was the only food that made people cry..

So I threw a coconut at him

My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face

My Friend is too smart

My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry.
I threw a Coconut at his nose.
I know I am smart :D.

What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)

A coconut.

A parrot flies into a bar and says "I'll have a coconut r**..., please." A patron nearby exclaims "Hey look, a talking parrot!"

Then he realizes, "Oh yeah, parrots can talk."

What do you do if a person thinks that a onion is the only thing that makes them cry...

Throw a coconut in their face.

A coconut walks into a bar...

At least it didn't get f**......yet

An entire industry has just collapsed

v**... coconut oil is no more a thing.

Me and My Friend!

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.Rest is History.

My friend said that onions don't make him cry

I chucked a coconut at his head

Have you tried that new coconut shampoo?

It leaves your coconuts looking fabulous.

My friend though he was so smart.

He said only an onion can make you cry,
So I threw a coconut in he's face.
(I didn't actually do that!)

I'm hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with c , ends in t , and there's a u and n in between them. What am i?

A coconut.

What is a Hawaiian s**... act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?

Coconut cream pie

I named both my t**... Co

So now when I finish I actually coconut

What's the difference between a Dutchman and a coconut?

You can get a free drink out of a coconut.

My little brother told me that onions and garlic are the only foods that make you cry

But why did he cry when i threw the coconut at his head?

Crude Oil massage

Barber : shoul I massage ur head ?
Me : ok, which oil will u use ?
Barber : Almond Oil is for 250₹
Me : herbal oil ?
Barber: 150₹
Me: Coconut Oil
Barber : 100₹
Me : anything cheaper than this ?
Barber *to his helper* : chhotu, get that barrel of crude oil

What's the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan

My mom told me this joke

Donald and Tommy walk into a wedding.
Everyone brings amazing gifts for the couple.
Donald brings a peanut as his gift.
The couple finds this offensive and decides to shove the peanut up Donald's a**....
But then Donald starts laughing.
The couple asks him why he is doing this.
He says 'Tommy brought a coconut for you guys'.

Disclaimer: I replaced the names in this jokes as if I had kept the same names a lot of you might find this offensive.

PETA has prompted the boycott of Thai coconut products.

Apparently the macaques only make 75c on the dollar of their male human counterparts.

Food that makes you cry.

My friend gave me grief for tears leaking feom my face when i was chopping some strong onions. He called me a weakling, and said there was no food that made him cry.
So I threw a coconut at his face.

An Italian, a Thai and a Jew are discussing lubricants.

The Italian says: "I am using olive oil from an ancient family grove. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for 10 minutes after we are done."
The Thai says: "I am using coconut oil made from cocnuts grown on a secret island. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for an hour after we are done."
The Jew says: "I am using Kosher fish oil from the grocery store and my wife is shouting for one month after we are done.'
"One month?" asked in astonishment the other two.
"Yes, that's because I wipe my hands with the bedroom curtains..."

The President of France has published a recipe for a new dessert with coconut and pasta

It's Macron's macaroon macaroni macaron.

Coconut joke, Me : Shaking a magic 8 ball..

jokes about coconut