coconut Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious coconut puns

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

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What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.

A coconut.

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The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.

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My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I broke his nose with a coconut.

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What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

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They say that coconut water is good for hair.

Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.

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How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

You put a bounty on his head.

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What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

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My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry.

I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue

My girlfriend is gone
This coconut will do

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My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I killed his mom with a coconut.

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Smart Friend

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

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An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

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My friend thinks he is so smart. He said the only food that can make a person cry is onions...

until I hit him in the face with a coconut.

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My friend said an onion is the only food that can make you cry

I threw a coconut at him.

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My friend told my that onion was the only food that made people cry..

So I threw a coconut at him

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I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale

so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.

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Shipwrecked!

A young wife, her boorish husband and a good-looking sailor were ship-wrecked on an island and had already been there for awhile.

One morning the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop fucking her down there!"

"What's the matter with you?" asked the husband after the sailor came back down. "We weren't doing anything."

"Sorry," said the sailor. "From up there it looked like you were."

Every morning after that, the sailor scaled the small tree and yelled the same thing. Finally, the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.

"By golly, he's right," said the husband. "It DOES look like they're fucking down there!"

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A vegan told me I shouldn't eat animals because I can't kill or butcher them with my bare hands...

So I gave him a coconut and told him to have a nice day.

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Whats curved and hairy on the outside, wet and juicy on the inside, begins with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

a coconut

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If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from?

Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?

Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular blow job!

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A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor

were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were." Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"

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What's the best thing to beat a dead horse with?

A coconut.

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As the hurricane said to the coconut palm:

Better hold on to your nuts. This is not a normal blowjob.

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My Friend is too smart

My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry.
I threw a Coconut at his nose.

I know I am smart :D.

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I'm hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with c , ends in t , and there's a u and n in between them. What am i?

A coconut.

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What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut?

The coconut

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What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

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Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign.

So I threw him a coconut.

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If you're the assistant to the assistant lunatic...

You're a coconut.

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My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face

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I'm losing my 30 year old virginity on Halloween.

I'm dressing up as a coconut.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts boy, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.

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Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Coconut? Well, here are the best Coconut dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Coconut pick up lines to share with friends.

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