Coconut Jokes

What are some Coconut jokes?

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.

My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I broke his nose with a coconut.

They say that coconut water is good for hair.

Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.

How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

You put a bounty on his head.

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry.

I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.

Roses are red, violets are blue

My girlfriend is gone
This coconut will do

My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I killed his mom with a coconut.

An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

My friend thinks he is so smart. He said the only food that can make a person cry is onions...

until I hit him in the face with a coconut.

My friend said an onion is the only food that can make you cry

I threw a coconut at him.

My friend told my that onion was the only food that made people cry..

So I threw a coconut at him

I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale

so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.

A vegan told me I shouldn't eat animals because I can't kill or butcher them with my bare hands...

So I gave him a coconut and told him to have a nice day.

I named both my testicles Co

So now when I finish I actually coconut

If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from?

Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.

What's the best thing to beat a dead horse with?

A coconut.

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor

were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were." Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular blow job!

Why should you cook kale in coconut oil?

Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.

My Friend is too smart

My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry.
I threw a Coconut at his nose.

I know I am smart :D.

I'm hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with c , ends in t , and there's a u and n in between them. What am i?

A coconut.

What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut?

The coconut

Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign.

So I threw him a coconut.

If you're the assistant to the assistant lunatic...

You're a coconut.

I'm losing my 30 year old virginity on Halloween.

I'm dressing up as a coconut.

My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm?

Hold on to your nuts, it will only be a quick blow.

A coconut walks into a bar...

At least it didn't get fucked...yet

Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale

It makes it easier to scrape into the trash

What do you do if a person thinks that a onion is the only thing that makes them cry...

Throw a coconut in their face.

If coconut oil is made with coconuts,

Almond oil is made with almonds,

Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,



Then I surely know what baby oil is.....

I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo

I haven't even got any coconuts.

What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)

A coconut.

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What is a Hawaiian sex act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?

Coconut cream pie

What do you call the other side of the coconut?

A cocobutt

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

Why do people always put coconut oil on kale?

So it's easier for it to slide into the bin.

A parrot flies into a bar and says "I'll have a coconut rum, please." A patron nearby exclaims "Hey look, a talking parrot!"

Then he realizes, "Oh yeah, parrots can talk."

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

My friend though he was so smart.

He said only an onion can make you cry,
So I threw a coconut in he's face.

(I didn't actually do that!)

Me and My Friend!

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.Rest is History.

They say that coconut oil is good for hair.

I'm wondering why coconut has bad hair itself?

My friend said that onions don't make him cry

I chucked a coconut at his head

I had the greatest nut yesterday

It was a coconut

Have you tried that new coconut shampoo?

It leaves your coconuts looking fabulous.

What did the coconut say to the bowling ball?

You look about as scared as I do.

What's hard and hairy on the outside, and soft and wet on the inside?

Clue: It starts with a 'C' and ends with a 'T'



A Coconut!

How to make Coconut jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Coconut to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Coconut? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Coconut pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes