The Best 55 Coconut Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coconut jokes. There are some coconut macadamia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coconut nut puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coconut Jokes and Puns

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm?

Hold on to your nuts, it will only be a quick blow.

Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign.

So I threw him a coconut.

Coconut joke, Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign.

My friend told my that onion was the only food that made people cry..

So I threw a coconut at him

Where does coconut milk come from?

Coconut cows.


My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

Coconut joke, What did one coconut say to the other?

My Friend is too smart

My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry.
I threw a Coconut at his nose.

I know I am smart :D.

What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)

A coconut.

How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

You put a bounty on his head.

I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo

I haven't even got any coconuts.

You can explore coconut slushy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coconut cashew dad jokes. There are also coconut puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My friend thinks he is so smart. He said the only food that can make a person cry is onions...

until I hit him in the face with a coconut.

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I killed his mom with a coconut.

My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry.

I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.

Coconut joke, My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry.

A parrot flies into a bar and says "I'll have a coconut rum, please." A patron nearby exclaims "Hey look, a talking parrot!"

Then he realizes, "Oh yeah, parrots can talk."

If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from?

Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.

Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale

It makes it easier to scrape into the trash


What do you do if a person thinks that a onion is the only thing that makes them cry...

Throw a coconut in their face.

Why do people always put coconut oil on kale?

So it's easier for it to slide into the bin.

What do you call the other side of the coconut?

A cocobutt

A coconut walks into a bar...

At least it didn't get fucked...yet

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

An entire industry has just collapsed

Virgin coconut oil is no more a thing.

I'm losing my 30 year old virginity on Halloween.

I'm dressing up as a coconut.

What's the best thing to beat a dead horse with?

A coconut.

Roses are red, violets are blue

My girlfriend is gone
This coconut will do

They say that coconut water is good for hair.

Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.

My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I broke his nose with a coconut.

If coconut oil is made with coconuts,

Almond oil is made with almonds,

Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,

Then I surely know what baby oil is.....

I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale

so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular blow job!

Me and My Friend!

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.Rest is History.

My friend though he was so smart.

He said only an onion can make you cry,
So I threw a coconut in he's face.

(I didn't actually do that!)

A vegan told me I shouldn't eat animals because I can't kill or butcher them with my bare hands...

So I gave him a coconut and told him to have a nice day.

What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut?

The coconut

My friend said an onion is the only food that can make you cry

I threw a coconut at him.

I'm hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with c , ends in t , and there's a u and n in between them. What am i?

A coconut.

The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.

If you're the assistant to the assistant lunatic...

You're a coconut.

What is a Hawaiian sex act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?

Coconut cream pie

I named both my testicles Co

So now when I finish I actually coconut

Why should you cook kale in coconut oil?

Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.

My little brother told me that onions and garlic are the only foods that make you cry

But why did he cry when i threw the coconut at his head?

Crude Oil massage

Barber : shoul I massage ur head ?

Me : ok, which oil will u use ?

Barber : Almond Oil is for 250β‚Ή

Me : herbal oil ?

Barber: 150β‚Ή

Me: Coconut Oil

Barber : 100β‚Ή

Me : anything cheaper than this ?

Barber *to his helper* : chhotu, get that barrel of crude oil

What's the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan

I bought coconut shampoo the other day but it wasn't until I got home that I realized...

...I don't even have a coconut...

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

My mom told me this joke

Donald and Tommy walk into a wedding.

Everyone brings amazing gifts for the couple.

Donald brings a peanut as his gift.

The couple finds this offensive and decides to shove the peanut up Donald's ass.

But then Donald starts laughing.

The couple asks him why he is doing this.

He says 'Tommy brought a coconut for you guys'.



Disclaimer: I replaced the names in this jokes as if I had kept the same names a lot of you might find this offensive.

PETA has prompted the boycott of Thai coconut products.

Apparently the macaques only make 75c on the dollar of their male human counterparts.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized...

I don't even *have* a coconut...

Food that makes you cry.

My friend gave me grief for tears leaking feom my face when i was chopping some strong onions. He called me a weakling, and said there was no food that made him cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face.

My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion

So I threw a coconut at her

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coconut hazelnut jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coconut almond piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes