coco Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious coco puns

They say that coconut water is good for hair.

Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.

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A 7 year old and 4 year old are in their bedroom....

"You know what" says the 7 year old. "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go down for breakfast I'll swear first, then you."

"OK" says the 4 year old.

They go downstairs and the mom asks what they'd like for breakfast.

"I'll have Coco pops bitch!"

WHACK! He flew out of his chair bawling his eyes out.

The mom looked at the 4 year old and sternly said "And what do you want?"

"Don't know, but it won't be fucking Coco pops"

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A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom...

'I think it's about time we started swearing', says the 7 year old. 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?'

'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast - 'Oh, shit Mom, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops bitch'

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?'

'I don't know, but it sure as shit won't be fucking Coco Pops'.


Kinda old but i only just heard this one, gold.

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Pulling Together

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.

"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.

"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.

Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

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A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.

She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.

The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.

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A 7 year old and a 5 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. You know what? says the 7 year old, I think it's about time we started swearing ....

The 5 year old nods his approval. When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok? .
Ok the younger one agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
Oh, bollocks mum, I guess I'll have some fucking Coco Pops! .
She administers a sound thrashing and runs upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?
I don't know, he blubbers, but it won't be fucking Coco Pops .

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What are the most racist jokes you know?

There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died.

What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool?
Coco puffs.

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Swearing for the first time

A 5 yr old was in his room with his 3 yr old brother. He says "Charlie, I think we should start swearing.. If everyone else can do it, so can we". So they go downstairs to breakfast, where their mother is waiting for them. She asks what they would like for breakfast. The 5 yr old says "Coco pops, bitch". The mother screams at him and sends him up to his room, crying, without any breakfast. The mother turns to the younger child and asks "Well, what do you want?"

"I dunno, but it won't be fucking coco pops"

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Two kids decided it was time they swore...

A 4 year old and a 7 year old.
The 7 year old says its time they started swearing, the 4 year old agrees.
The 7 year old says "when mum asks us what we want for breakfast, swear.", the 4 year old says ok.
They go downstairs and their mum says "What do you want for breakfast?"
The 7 year old says "I want coco pops, bitch!".... SLAP!
The 7 year old falls to the floor screaming.
Then mum says to the 4 year old, with a stern face "what do you want for breakfast?"
Then the 4 year old says "I don' know, but it definitely won't be fucking coco pops!"

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Two children decide they're going to swear one day

One says to the other "I'll say shit, you say fuck!"

So, that morning, when they go downstairs, the mom asks the first one what he wants.

"Shit, mom, I think I'll have some Coco Puffs"

She slaps him and he starts crying.

"AND WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" she howls.

"Well, I know I don't want any fucking Coco puffs, for sure"

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What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk? Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk?

Diabetes

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A coconut walks into a bar...

At least it didn't get fucked...yet

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If coconut oil is made with coconuts,

Almond oil is made with almonds,

Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,



Then I surely know what baby oil is.....

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Horses.

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

"Well...Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

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Did you hear the Coco Pops monkey was recently murdered?

Tony the Tiger, Snap, Crackle and Pop all got killed too.

Police think its the work of a serial killer.

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Did you hear about the new tomb that they found in Egypt?

It contains hazelnuts and coco and experts think that the tomb belonged to the...Ferrero Rocher

:)))

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I put my tongue in coco

I found it peasant and tasty. Then I put my tongue in Ice-t...and he punched me. His wife still calls though.

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What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

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They say that coconut oil is good for hair.

I'm wondering why coconut has bad hair itself?

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How does a pyromaniac react when they get flammable Coco cola for Christmas?

He's soda lighted!

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What do you call an assistant to the assistant nut?

A Co-co nut

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A straight rooster says "coco doodle doo", a gay rooster says...

ANY COCKLEDOO!

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Coco Chanel once said....

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

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Have you tried that new coconut shampoo?

It leaves your coconuts looking fabulous.

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What did the coconut say to the bowling ball?

You look about as scared as I do.

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What's another name for a cocoon?

Ninigger

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What's the difference between Sonny the Cuckoo Bird and a Hawaiian masturbation addict?

Ones cuckoo for coco puffs and the other goes cuckoo for coconuts

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a pool?

Coco puffs

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If coconut oil is good for hair...

Why does coconut have fucking bad hair himself?

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I rate the new disney movie "Coco" a 8,7/10 because it coveres my favorite subject

Dead Mexicans.

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Hi, this is Coco

Want some Coconut milk?

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Where does coconut milk come from?

Coconut cows.

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What do prostitutes have for breakfast?

Coco Cocks and Dilk

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Better flavoured coco nut

What's white, sticky, and Asian girls love it?
Sticky Rice

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Cocoa was the last to arrive at the party

He was chocolate

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What are the most funny Coco jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Coco? Well, here are the best Coco dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Coco pick up lines to share with friends.

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