Cocktails Jokes

Following is our collection of beverage puns and bourbon one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cocktails jokes for adults, dirty jolly jokes and clean gloomy dad gags for kids.

The Best Cocktails Puns

My friend once said, "If I wasn't making cocktails, I'd be a criminal."

Now he's behind bars.

What do Jews throw when they riot?

Mozeltov Cocktails

My friend told me that If he wasn't mixing cocktails, he'd be a criminal.

Either way, he's behind bars.

Did you hear they recently opened a bar on the moon?

The cocktails are great, but it has no atmosphere.

A Rooster With No Feathers on His Rump Walks into a Bar.....

Bartender: Can I help you?

Bird: I understand you have cocktails

What disease do you have if you're great at making cocktails, but terrible at stealing tambourines?


What drinks do they serve after a circumcision?


What does a arsonist and a bartender have in common?

For special occasions, their cocktails are on the house.

Did you hear about the Rabbi who made his own fireworks? He called them

Mazel Tov Cocktails

^(I am **so** sorry)

^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out.

What does the Israeli Defense Force call their firebombs?

Mazel-tov Cocktails

What do rioting jewish people throw?

Mazel tov cocktails

Did You guys hear what the Jews did when they rioted?

They threw Mazel Tov Cocktails

I drank seven cocktails in one night

The feathers don't blend well

Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception?

There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!

Why are women like cocktails? (Nsfw-ish?)

They're both virgins till you add a little alcohol.

You know why they call them cocktails?

Neither do I. But it still sounds dirty.

Do you like cocktails?

Wanna tell me some?

I'm considering starting a men's clothing line centered around cocktails...

The first article of clothing will be appropriately dubbed "my mai tai tie."

What did the Russian Jew throw at his bar mitzvah?

Mazel tov cocktails

Middle East

So whaddya call 3 rockets, 4 mortars, 5 molotov cocktails and 6 incendiary kites lauched from Gaza into Israel?
A cease fire!

What types of explosives do the Jewish use?

Mazel tov cocktails.

I like my cocktails, like my Nuns


I always order my cocktails up

It really lifts my spirits

There is an abundance of incendiary jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes and cocktails puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any vodka witze you can hear about cocktails.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes