Cockroach Jokes
68 cockroach jokes and hilarious cockroach puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cockroach that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Cockroach jokes are a fun way to annoyed your friends!
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Funniest Cockroach Short Jokes
Short cockroach jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cockroach humour may include short bed bugs jokes also.
- As a boy, I was made to believe that earwigs lived in ears Henceforth, I was terrified of cockroaches
- Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can't survive a slap from a newspaper. This shows how toxic the media is.
- Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly This shows how toxic the media is
- Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom.
- Arnold Schwarzeneggar never has mice, rats or cockroaches in his house He is an ex Terminator
- A Hungarian cockroach was telling terrible jokes at an open mic night. What do you do? Budapest
- When I killed a... When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week.
When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week.
Well mom just killed a cockroach,
should I tell her for you? - Operation Clean-Up Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom. - Why do Hawaiian Cockroaches hate Kona Coffee so much? Because it turns them into Jitterbugs.
- Seeing a cockroach in ur sandwich is not a problem but Seeing a half cockroach in ur half sandwich is definitely a big problem.
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Cockroach One Liners
Which cockroach one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cockroach? I can suggest the ones about fly insect and insect.
- If bed bugs are found in beds Who came up with cockroaches?
- If bed bugs live in beds... then does that mean cockroaches and butterflies live in...?
- My wife is such a terrible cook... Even the cockroaches order out.
- What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint? A Bug report
- If bed bugs are found on beds Where are cockroaches found?
- What two things will survive a nuclear holocaust? Cockroaches and Kieth Richards
- Cockroaches are a lot like my dreams. Everyone wants to crush them.
- Cockroaches understand what I go through They always put themselves in my shoes
- If a dung beetle eats dung... Then what does a cockroach eat?
- Teacher: that's a really big cockroach! Roach: So I've been told miss.
- Why is Arnold schwarzenegger good at killing cockroaches? Because he's an ex-terminator
- I got a new pet cockroach..... And i named him Comey the h**...
- why did the cockroach fall off the wall? He got an e**....
- What's it called when you attack a Cockroach nest? A Raid
- What do you call a female cockroach? A **cuntroach!**
Witty Cockroach Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about cockroach you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rodent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cockroach pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're so poor that when you light up a l**..., the cockroaches celebrate that they finally have central heating.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
A boy and his father are playing catch
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?
A kid walks to the bathroom...
Kid:"DAD THERE IS A HUGE COCKROACH IN THE BATHROOM!!!"
DAD:" So wait until he finishes."
While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember when I killed that butterfly?
Son: remember when I killed that butterfly and you said no butter for a week?
Dad: ya?
Son: remember when I killed that honeybee and you said no honey for a week?
Dad: ya that was last month?
Son: mom just killed a cockroach, should I break the news to her?
A little boy kills a butterfly. Dad says, "No butter for one week!" The little boy kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!"
Mom kills a cockroach. The little boy turns to his dad and says, "Are you gonna tell her or should i do it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend?
He saw her s**... someone else.
Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.
Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the man squish the cockroach?
Because he said to the man, "Go ahead, kill me coward. You are just jealous I make your wife scream more than you do when I climb her.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo mama so n**...
I walked in the front door and saw her playin' s**... poker with the cockroaches
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today, i will be calling all the cockroaches and rats
Today, i will be calling all the cockroaches
and rats in my house for a meeting so we can discuss how we will be sharing the rent because i don't know who owns the house anymore.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Late one night, Norm answered the doorbell to find a 6 foot tall cockroach standing on the step.
The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off.
The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.
Ah, yes, the doctor said when Norm explained what happened. There's a n**... bug going around.
A guy with some cockroach-infested bread, an aptitude for puns, and a propensity for spoonerisms walks into a bar.
"I have the pest buns," he says to the barman.
Little Johnny kills a butterfly
His dad says, "No butter for one week!" Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. Little Johnny turns to his dad and says, "shall I break the news to her?"
I found half a maggot in my sandwich today...
... But it's alright, it was probably eaten by the half a cockroach.
Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette
One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'
The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'
The natural fear cycle.
Cockroach afraid of mice
Mice afraid of cats
Cats afraid of dogs
Dogs afraid of men
Men afraid from wives
Wives afraid of cockraoches.
A cockroach in my home just came out of the closet.
I was shocked at first but I made sure that it felt supported and loved no matter what or whome it loved.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a bunch of bugs and Dwayne Johnson's personal trainers?
One is a group of cockroaches, the other's a bunch of Rock coaches
I couldn't figure out why my computer stopped working until I opened it up and found some cockroaches inside...
Though, I did get it working again after some thorough debugging.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard a knock at my door yesterday morning
I opened the door and got punched in the face by a giant cockroach
I went and told my doctor and he said
ah yes I've heard there's a n**... bug going round
A little boy killed a butterfly.
His dad looked at him disappointed and said,
"Son, because you killed that butterfly you won't get butter for a week."
A month later he killed a honeybee, his dad looked at him and said,
"Son, because you killed that honeybee you won't get honey for a week."
The boy looks at his father and says, "I also killed a cockroach."
The dad laughs at him and said, "Nice Try!"
Did you hear about the time Bill Gates found a cockroach in his drugs?
There was bugs in his codeine.
A father and his son went outside for a walk.
The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!
When they return back to their home, they find the kid's mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I'll leave you guys to it then.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A chinese and a jew were travelling in a train ..
A cockroach came through the window. At once the chinese caught and ate it. Jew was dumbstrucked.
After a while another cockroach came through. With lightning fast action the jew caught it , before the chinese and asked,"wanna buy it for a dime?"
Cockroaches And Media
Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust, but can't survive a slap from newspaper
That's how toxic our media is.
A little boy kills a butterfly and his dad says, no butter for 2 weeks. He kills a honeybee and his dad says, no honey for two weeks.
His mother kills a cockroach. He looks at his dad and says, are you going to tell her or should I?
A man walks into an insect shop...
and asks for several bags of cockroaches.
"What are you using all the cockroaches for?" the cashier asks.
"Well..." the man said, "the landlord asked I leave his property the same way I found it."
A customer is at a sporting goods store.
Customer in sporting goods store: Excuse me, do you sell cockroaches?
Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman.
Customer: I would like 20,000 of them.
Clerk: What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?
Customer: I'm moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it.
Proof that a cockroach has ears in its legs
If you scream at it, it runs away
If you take off its legs then scream at it, it wont run
