Cockroach Jokes

Following is our collection of hummingbirds puns and recliner one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cockroach jokes for adults, dirty kitchen jokes and clean mosquitoes dad gags for kids.

The Best Cockroach Puns

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."

Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

A little boy kills a butterfly. Dad says, "No butter for one week!" The little boy kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!"

Mom kills a cockroach. The little boy turns to his dad and says, "Are you gonna tell her or should i do it?"

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can't survive a slap from a newspaper.

This shows how toxic the media is.

Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly

This shows how toxic the media is

A little boy killed a butterfly.

His dad looked at him disappointed and said,
"Son, because you killed that butterfly you won't get butter for a week."

A month later he killed a honeybee, his dad looked at him and said,
"Son, because you killed that honeybee you won't get honey for a week."

The boy looks at his father and says, "I also killed a cockroach."

The dad laughs at him and said, "Nice Try!"


Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.

Today I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom.

A father and his son went outside for a walk.

The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!

When they return back to their home, they find the kid's mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I'll leave you guys to it then.

A little boy kills a butterfly and his dad says, no butter for 2 weeks. He kills a honeybee and his dad says, no honey for two weeks.

His mother kills a cockroach. He looks at his dad and says, are you going to tell her or should I?

A boy and his father are playing catch

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.


"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."


Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."


The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)


Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.


The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?

While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?

A Hungarian cockroach was telling terrible jokes at an open mic night. What do you do?

Budapest


nsfw Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly........

At Family Dinner:
Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you told me, "no butter for a week?"
Dad: yeah...
Son: and when sis killed that honeybee and you said, "no honey for a week?"
Dad: yeah, that was a month ago. So what?
Son: Mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?

Little Johnny kills a butterfly

His dad says, "No butter for one week!" Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. Little Johnny turns to his dad and says, "shall I break the news to her?"

When I killed a...

When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week.

When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week.

Well mom just killed a cockroach,
should I tell her for you?

Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend?

He saw her sucking someone else.

Operation Clean-Up

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom.

Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.

Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:

Hubby: I wanna tell you something.

Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.

Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!

Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while

A man was going to kill a cockroach

Man: Any last words?
Cockroach: You're just jealous of me.
Man: Why would I be jealous of you?!
Cockroach: Because I can make your wife scream louder than you can!

Late one night, Norm answered the doorbell to find a 6 foot tall cockroach standing on the step.

The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off.

The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.

Ah, yes, the doctor said when Norm explained what happened. There's a nasty bug going around.


I heard a knock at my door yesterday morning

I opened the door and got punched in the face by a giant cockroach

I went and told my doctor and he said

ah yes I've heard there's a nasty bug going round

A man's daughter killed a butterfly in the garden so the father said "No butter for a month."

Then later that day, the daughter killed a cockroach. Then the father said "Nice try."

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear war. But hit them with a newspaper and they die.

See how dangerous the media is?

Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette

One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'

The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'

Why did the man squish the cockroach?

Because he said to the man, "Go ahead, kill me coward. You are just jealous I make your wife scream more than you do when I climb her.'

Cockroaches And Media

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust, but can't survive a slap from newspaper

That's how toxic our media is.

Teacher: that's a really big cockroach!

Roach: So I've been told miss.

Remember when I killed that butterfly?

Son: remember when I killed that butterfly and you said no butter for a week?

Dad: ya?

Son: remember when I killed that honeybee and you said no honey for a week?

Dad: ya that was last month?

Son: mom just killed a cockroach, should I break the news to her?

A cockroach in my home just came out of the closet.

I was shocked at first but I made sure that it felt supported and loved no matter what or whome it loved.

How many cockroaches does it take too screw in a lightbulb,

Don't know, as soon as the light comes on they all scatter.
Curtousy of "A Bugs Life"

What do you call a gay cockroach?

You still call it a cockroach, just for a different reason.

^I'm ^so ^sorry.

The natural fear cycle.

Cockroach afraid of mice

Mice afraid of cats

Cats afraid of dogs

Dogs afraid of men

Men afraid from wives

Wives afraid of cockraoches.

I got a new pet cockroach.....

And i named him Comey the Homey

Did you hear about the time Bill Gates found a cockroach in his drugs?

There was bugs in his codeine.

why did the cockroach fall off the wall?

He got an erection.

I found half a maggot in my sandwich today...

... But it's alright, it was probably eaten by the half a cockroach.

A chinese and a jew were travelling in a train ..

A cockroach came through the window. At once the chinese caught and ate it. Jew was dumbstrucked.

After a while another cockroach came through. With lightning fast action the jew caught it , before the chinese and asked,"wanna buy it for a dime?"

Cockroaches are a lot like my dreams.

Everyone wants to crush them.

A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee...

He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

What did the cockroach say to the man that was about to kill him?

Your just jealous that I can make your wife scream louder than you can!

TIL size doesn't matter.

Chicks will always scream through their lungs no matter how big the cockroach in their rooms is.

If you knew what the famous la cucaracha song was about would you still sing it in class?

Psst.. it's about a cockroach getting really stoned

Seeing a cockroach in ur sandwich is not a problem but

Seeing a half cockroach in ur half sandwich is definitely a big problem.

What's it called when you attack a Cockroach nest?

A Raid

What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?

You're just jealous, because I can make your wife scream louder than you can.

Open ended the door today and a nasty cockroach punched me

I heard there's a nasty bug going around.

How many cockroaches does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know. When I turn on the light they're all gone.

How many women does it take to kill a cockroach?

Only one, with killer vocal chords.

There are 3 Cockroaches in a kitchen. How do you know which one is the cowboy?

The one of the range.

A kid walks to the bathroom...

Kid:"DAD THERE IS A HUGE COCKROACH IN THE BATHROOM!!!"

DAD:" So wait until he finishes."

There is an abundance of bowl jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes and cockroach puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any centipedes witze you can hear about cockroach.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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