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Cockpit Jokes

59 cockpit jokes and hilarious cockpit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cockpit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is full of hilarious jokes that will have you laughing out loud in your cockpit.

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Popular Cockpit Short Jokes

Short cockpit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cockpit humour may include short cabin jokes also.

  1. Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit? because three Wrights make a left.
  2. When you have an all male crew flying a plane.... ... it's called a cockpit.
    If you have an all female crew it's a box office.
  3. One of the reasons for the low number of female pilots has been found to be.. the cockpit !
  4. What's common to the cockpit of a modern fighter aircraft and the inside of a headhunter's hut? The heads-up display
  5. A pilot and his co-pilot go on a blind date with the same stewardess. Let's just say more than one cockpit was being occupied that night.
  6. You know about those new catheters designed for use on an airplane? you stick them in the cockpit
  7. Captain Oveur: Say Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Joey: No Sir, but I have been in a chicken coop.
  8. the new United Airlines Olympics commercial is really good But they forgot the part where Ryan Lochte kicks down the cockpit door and pees all over the flight deck.
  9. What is a black guy in a cockpit? A pilot you racists
  10. Confucius says: "Woman who fly upside in airplane have open cockpit."

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Cockpit One Liners

Which cockpit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cockpit? I can suggest the ones about copilot and crew.

  1. What do you call a cockpit when the pilots are female? The box office.
  2. What do an airplane and a girl have in common? A cockpit
  3. Have you heard of airplane skirts? They're so short, you can see the cockpit.
  4. Hey girl are you a plane? Because I want to get into your cockpit
  5. What does a woman and a plane have in common? The cockpit.
  6. How is a woman like an airplane? Both have cockpits.
  7. Whats a similarity between planes and girls? they both have cockpits
  8. How are airplanes and women alike? They both have cockpits.
  9. What do you call an airplane's cockpit if it's staffed by female pilots? The Box Office.
  10. What do you call a pilot's wife? The Cockpit
  11. What do women and aircraft share in common? They both have cockpits
  12. Where do airplanes come from? The cockpit.
  13. What do you call a gay mosh club for pilots? The cockpit
  14. What's every gay man's dream job? To be a pilot so we can work in the cockpit.
  15. What's a Muslim women in the cockpit of an airplane called... A pilot

Cockpit joke, What's a Muslim women in the cockpit of an airplane called...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cockpit can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cockpit puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Cockpit Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about cockpit you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pilot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cockpit prank.

Two pilots were accused of s**... harassment.

HR said a female pilot complained about the way they were joking and saying cockpit during the flight. Looking relieved they both got up to leave. HR quickly asks where there going when one pilots says "we don't have a problem, we'll apologize, and we'll never use the term cockpit again. That was totally insensitive of us. From here on out we'll just call it a sky box."

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.
She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Sydney and I'm staying right here .
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde b**... sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Sydney and I'm staying right here .
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
The pilot says, You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde .
He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, Oh, I'm sorry and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
I told her, First class isn't going to Sydney

As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane

As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane. I would always sit on the isle seat and wait for the cockpit door to open. Sometime the flight attendant will get in the way and block your view, you know bend over in a s**... way sorting stuff or helping someone .so I say to her "HEY MOVE! I WANT TO SEE THE PLANES COCKPIT NOT YOURS"

A plane gets hijacked by a couple of terrorists

The head t**... is in the cockpit with the pilot. He demands that the pilot takes them to a free country or else the entire plane will blow up.
The pilot retorts: " This is an airliner, not a spaceship!"

I was at the grocery store with my gpa when a couple girls in super short skirts walked by....

Gpa said, looks at those jet skirts, as we both admired the two ladies. I had to know, what's a jet skirt? Gpa replied, it's a skirt so short that when they bend over you can see the cockpit.

A little kid on a plane asks a flight attendant, "How come people can have babies, but planes can't have baby planes?"

The flight attendant tells the kid that is a question for the pilot.
She takes the kid to the cockpit and introduces the child to pilot and tells him to ask his question.
The kid asks the pilot "Why do people have babies but planes don't have baby planes?"
The pilot responds, "I can't speak for the other airlines, but this one always pulls out on time."

How did they keep the pilot out of the cockpit?

With an Allahu Lockbar.

What do a c**... and a fighter jet have in common?

A cockpit.

A blonde boards a plane to Miami...

A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn't listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later the pilot steps out and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up from her seat and goes to economy class. Intrigued, the flight attendant asks the pilot how he managed to convince her to relinquish her seat.
"Easy" says the pilot, "I told her first class doesn't go to Miami"

A new pilot has his first day in a real cockpit and he asks the pilot...

"Wow, there's so many b**... and switches. How do you remember what they all do?" The captain replies, "I don't, but for the love of God don't touch the dusty ones."

What separates three w**... from two alcoholics?

The cockpit door!

Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit, talking, when they realize they are flying over a huge crater.


"Wow, what a beautiful sight," says the first pilot.
"It is, isn't it?" the other pilot replies.
Then a flight attended joins them.
"Sir, what are we flying over?" she asks the first pilot.
"It's a crater. A meteor crashed into the earth and left that giant hole."
"Wow," replies the flight attendant. "And what's that building right next to it?"
"That's the visitors center," the second pilot says.
"Phew," she says. "They really got lucky, didn't they?"

Passengers aboard an airplane watched nervously

As two men wearing pilots' uniforms and dark glasses use canes to feel their way into the cockpit.

The plane starts barreling down the runway, and the passengers begin to get scared as the water at the end of the airstrip nears. With only a few yards left, everyone screams, but the plane lifts off just in time. The passengers think it was all a joke, while in the cockpit, the pilots high five.

"You know," says one pilot to the other, "one day they're gonna scream too late, and we're gonna die."

What do you call a male s**... club?

A cockpit!

The pilot and co-pilot are sitting in the cockpit of an airplane.

As they wait for the passengers to board, the pilot says to the co-pilot,
Why did you become a pilot?
To which the co-pilot replies, To overcome my greatest fear.
Flying? the pilot asks
No. says the co-pilot, Dying alone.

A plane was about to take off when a man burst out of the cockpit n**..., yelling

"this is your captain streaking"

What separates a couple of alcoholics from a couple of h**...?

A cockpit door....

A plane is about to c**....

The pilot comes out of the cockpit, and solemnly addresses the passengers.
"The plane is going to c**.... There are 286 passengers, but only 285 parachutes. Does anybody know how to pray?"
A minister in the middle row raises his hand.
"Good." The pilot says. "You start praying. The rest of us will take the parachutes."

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

What do you call a s**... stewardess?

The cockpit.

The Pilot

The pilot gave his normal address to the passengers, this is your captain speaking, we will be ascending to 30000 feet and the flight time is two hours. Unfortunately he forgot to turn off his microphone and he joked to his co pilot that what he would really enjoy was a cup of coffee and a b**.... A hostess rushed to the cockpit to alert the captain about the microphone. A nearby passenger quipped, he also wants a coffee.

What do you call an o**... of gay pilots?

a cockpit

Jeff Bezoz on a plane with Donald Trump

Jeff Bezoz and Donald Trump Are on a plane. Jeff says "I could drop a dollar bill to the ground and make one person happy. Donald Tump says "I could drop 100 dollar bills to the ground and make 100 people happy." . Pilot walks out of the cockpit and says "I could drop this plane to the ground and make 7 billion people happy!"

A cat was sat next to me on the airplane

I was on an airplane and noticed a cat sat two seats over from me with a balaclava on, all of a sudden he gets up, walks to the cockpit, pulls a knife and puts it to the pilot's t**....
pilot says "what the h**...'s going on?"
cat replies "take me to the canaries"

Cockpit joke, What do you call a cockpit when the pilots are female?

jokes about cockpit

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cockpit jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.