The Best 8 Cockney Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cockney jokes. There are some cockney nig jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cockney philippe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cockney Jokes and Puns

I asked my cockney dad what I should buy my girlfriend for her birthday.

He said, 'You should give her a Pandora bracelet.'

So I gave her a pound.

Did you hear about the cockney hobo who offered no resistance to electrical current?

He was ohm-less.

How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?

Paan ten.

Two cockney men were talking...

The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".

I think my cockney friend is obsessed with the desert.

I asked him what he thought of my mixtape and he said, "Sand's great."

How much does a Cockney spend on shampoo?


How much does a Cockney pay for shampoo?


What does a Cockney Barber do?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cockney london jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cockney nighttime piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes