Cockney Jokes

Following is our collection of gale puns and nig one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cockney jokes for adults, dirty boombox jokes and clean philippe dad gags for kids.

The Best Cockney Puns

I asked my cockney dad what I should buy my girlfriend for her birthday.

He said, 'You should give her a Pandora bracelet.'

So I gave her a pound.

Did you hear about the cockney hobo who offered no resistance to electrical current?

He was ohm-less.

How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?

Paan ten.

Two cockney men were talking...

The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".

I think my cockney friend is obsessed with the desert.

I asked him what he thought of my mixtape and he said, "Sand's great."

How much does a Cockney spend on shampoo?


How much does a Cockney pay for shampoo?


What does a Cockney Barber do?


There is an abundance of london jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 8 funniest jokes and cockney puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nighttime witze you can hear about cockney.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes