Cock Jokes

What are some Cock jokes?

I cocked my pistol and asked my girlfriend, "Any last words?"

4 hours later, I shot her.

Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend?

He saw her sucking someone else.

My cock-eyed professor had a really bad day today.

His pupils got way out of line.

It made him so angry that he couldn't see straight.

I was a cocky little punk when I was younger

I remember one time, when I was 9 years old, getting called into the principal's office.

Your behavior is out of line, and getting worse & worse each day. Standards really are slipping."

"I'll do the talking he replied.

At a cocktail party...

an obstetrician's wife noticed that another guest, a big, oversexed blonde in a slinky red dress, was making overtures at her husband. As it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw the woman begin whispering into her husband's ear while her hand caressed his back.

At once she confronted the blonde bimbo and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"

Why couldn't I take my cocktail home with me?

It was a little Old Fashioned.

Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette

One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'

The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'

How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?

Paan ten.

How many cockroaches does it take too screw in a lightbulb,

Don't know, as soon as the light comes on they all scatter.
Curtousy of "A Bugs Life"

A cockroach in my home just came out of the closet.

I was shocked at first but I made sure that it felt supported and loved no matter what or whome it loved.

Have you tried that new cocktail called Hurricane Sandy?

It's just a watered down Manhattan.

I think my cockney friend is obsessed with the desert.

I asked him what he thought of my mixtape and he said, "Sand's great."

I need a cocktail

hold the tail.

A cocktail walks into a bar and orders a drink

The bartender refused and said, "Sorry, we only serve neat drinks."

why did the cockroach fall off the wall?

He got an erection.

How much does a Cockney spend on shampoo?

Pantene

How much does a Cockney pay for shampoo?

Pantene.

Do you like cocktails?

Wanna tell me some?

I saw a cockerel in a store looking at the tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce...

I knew what it was - it was a chicken Caesar salad. (chicken sees a salad).

Why was the cocktail not sublime?

Because it was sub lime.

Seeing a cockroach in ur sandwich is not a problem but

Seeing a half cockroach in ur half sandwich is definitely a big problem.

How to make Cock jokes?

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