I would not have to sell cocaine anymore.
It all started with a spliff, the odd bong or two.
Before I knew it, I'd started using amphetamines like speed and for a stronger buzz, I moved on to ecstasy.
It wasn't long after, that I started on the hard stuff, like cocaine and heroin.
I was a complete mess.
I was broke and my body was ruined.
But fuck me, what a night.
Police Let It Go With A Warning
But I need a line to end it.
-Matt Melvin
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Unless it's dissolved in water.
...that he was a barber.
Enough to kill two and a half men.
And one day one of the secretaries asked me to get Kofi Annan a gram of cocaine.
Of course, I called him immediately.
"Kofi" I said, "right now the only one I can think of is 'oceanic'"
I've been doing it for 5 years i would know
"10 kilograms you say?"
"Yeah, 5 kilograms"
always sticking their business in other people's noses.
I said, "Who is it?" and they told me that it was the police. I asked them what they wanted and they said that they wanted to investigate my property for marijuana.
I said, "I haven't got any. Now be on your way."
"Well then," they said, "what harm is there in us checking?"
I said, "Because you might find the cocaine."
I just like the smell.
1st Student: I go and buy weed from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy cocaine from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo
- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?
a buttload.
It was the end of the line for him.
So the other day I went to the doctors for an annual checkup, before we started he asked "have you been doing any drugs?", I replied with "does love count as a drug?", he said "love is the strongest drug out there!", I then said "that's good cause I'm in love with cocaine!".
White powder!
Always sticking their business into other peoples noses.
"Cocaine", "Caffeine", "Light" and now "Zero"
Enough to kill two and half a man.
I just love the way it smells.
"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.
"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" joked the dad.
I said, "No need. Cocaine doesn't smell."
but it smells amazing!
I can't remember all of it, but the last line's a killer.
But then they asked about the THC, meth amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens. Told them it was an everything bagel.
But I need a line to finish it.
Enough to kill two and a half men
"Can I speak to the Cocaine Councillor please" I asked. "You'll have to wait" he replied,"he's on another line."
I think it's because he was caught with a bag of cocaine. But regardless, our boss told us to keep our noses out of it.
...it's actually cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere instead
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a pound of coke fall out of a window
It only has one line.
...and you've tested positive for opiates...
Patient: I ate a bagel this morning.
Doctor: ...and meth, cocaine, marijuana, oh and you're pregnant.
Patient: it was an everything bagel.
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