Cocain Jokes

Following is our collection of opiate puns and vert one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cocain jokes for adults, dirty opium jokes and clean drugs dad gags for kids.

The Best Cocain Puns

My Cocaine Is So White

Police Let It Go With A Warning

Cocaine is never a solution...

Unless it's dissolved in water.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

Cocaine isn't addictive

I've been doing it for 5 years i would know

How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison?

a buttload.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

I have never done cocaine

but it smells amazing!

I have a serious cocaine problem..

I can't find my cocaine.

How much cocaine does it take to kill an elephant?

A trunkfull.

Cocaine in school

One of the teachers at my local school for obese children, was fired today. He was fired for doing cocaine before going to work. He was ratted out by his large pupils.

How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do?

enough to kill 2 1/2 men.

I tried cocaine once

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

Never do cocaine with an optician...

The first line is quite big, but then the lines get smaller and smaller and smaller...


I thought that might crack you up

Cocaine is god's way of saying you're making too much money.

How much cocaine do cryptographers use on the daily?

A few anagrams.

Cocaine is such a terrible drug

But it does smell pretty good

Cocaine isnt addictive

I should know. Ive being doing it for years

Do you know why is cocaine white?

What is Cocaine Addiction?

Just another bump in the road

If you say my cocaine..

It's just Michael Caine saying his own name

I don't think cocaine is all it's cracked up to be

I don't like cocaine.

It blows.

The cocaine that I bought is so white..

..That the cops just let it go with a warning.

The Cocaine I bought was so white

That it's first words were: mmm, delicious quinoa, susan

My cocaine dealer is a bit over inquisitive.

He's always sticking his business in other people's noses.

How do you get a cocaine addict to check into rehab?

You gotta cokes him in


I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom.

If cocaine were an old cranky man...

He'd say "blow me"!

I don't usually do cocaine...

But lets just say that I crack under pressure.

Why did the cocaine addict come off as really up tight?

He was always turning up his nose!

There is an abundance of junkies jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes and cocain puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any heroin witze you can hear about cocain.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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