Cocacola Jokes

Following is our collection of asked puns and back one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cocacola jokes for adults, dirty day jokes and clean cocaine dad gags for kids.

The Best Cocacola Puns

Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing...

It's always, "Is Pepsi okay?"

A couple after a divorce are at court over who could keep the child.

So the mother goes:" i carried that child for 9 long months and gave birth to it under a lot of pain. I should keep it.

The judge asks the father if he has anything to add.

The father calmly replies:" let me explain this situation with a metaphor; if you walk up to a coca-cola machine, put in a dollar and a coke comes out, does the coke belong to you or the machine?"

A sad man walks into a Coca-Cola carbonation factory...

But he leaves because it was just soda pressing.

A cop pulls over a car. He walks up, and smells a heavy weed smell. The man turns to him, and his eye are redder than a Coca-Cola can. The cop looks at him and says, "How high are you?!?!?!?"

The driver responds, "He, he. No officer, it's 'Hi, How are you?'"

A bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola (Russian Joke)

A man comes to the shop:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.
Half an hour later he comes again:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.
An hour later he comes again:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of... of Sprite. It seems Coca-cola makes me sick!

My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory

All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz.

Fun Fact: if you drop a can of Coca-Cola on your foot it will hurt.

A little ironic considering it's a soft drink.

Class trip to the coca-cola company factory

I hope there's no pop quiz

Cause I'm diabetic

What if I lifted a pack of Coca-Cola over my head for twenty minutes a day every day?

That would be soda pressing.

I'm more of a Coca-Cola person...

soda speak.

What did the psychiatrist say to the Coca-Cola?

Don't bottle up your feelings.

Why did the Coca-Cola Company go under?

They ran out of Leaders.

Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial

General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50

Coca-Cola........ $1.99

Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless

What type of soda does the Coca-Cola company sell the most of in the Midwest?


Why is a 12oz can of Coca-Cola more popular in St. Paul and Minneapolis than a 2 liter?

Because it's a mini soda.

If the coca-cola bear had random anger fits,

he'd be a bi-polar bear.

I had to quit my job at the Coca-Cola factory today...

... It was just Soda Pressing

You heard about the latest Coca-Cola acquisition?

That's going to Costa lot.

Coke is releasing "Coca-Cola Ginger" for a limited time (seriously)...

They are also releasing a "Coca-Cola Ginger Zero" version, which has 0 calories, 0 carbs, and 0 soul. ;p

What do you call a Russian Coca-Cola delivery van driver?

Idroppalotta Popoff

Chinese dude walks into a bar and says

"Ching pong quang xin fang coca-cola."
And the barman says "A can of what?"

You have just fallen down from the Moon.

You dust yourself and start hugging everyone, in tears.

The journey has made you thirsty and you take a bottle of Coca-Cola.

The ambulance arrives and they bring you to the psychiatric clinic.

Were you really on the Moon?

There is an abundance of cokehead jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 22 funniest jokes and cocacola puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any opiate witze you can hear about cocacola.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes