Coca Jokes

Following is our collection of colombia puns and coke one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Coca jokes for adults, dirty ani jokes and clean 7up dad gags for kids.

The Best Coca Puns

My Cocaine Is So White

Police Let It Go With A Warning

Cocaine is never a solution...

Unless it's dissolved in water.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

Cocaine isn't addictive

I've been doing it for 5 years i would know

How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison?

a buttload.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

Sex with my wife has depreciated like Coca Cola

"Cocaine", "Caffeine", "Light" and now "Zero"

I have never done cocaine

but it smells amazing!

Yeah I got a job at Coca Cola...

It's sodapressing.

I have a serious cocaine problem..

I can't find my cocaine.

How much cocaine does it take to kill an elephant?

A trunkfull.

Cocaine in school

One of the teachers at my local school for obese children, was fired today. He was fired for doing cocaine before going to work. He was ratted out by his large pupils.

How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do?

enough to kill 2 1/2 men.

I tried cocaine once

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

A long time worker at a coca cola just lost his job

He is soda pressed now.

Never do cocaine with an optician...

The first line is quite big, but then the lines get smaller and smaller and smaller...

A woman who drank 10 litres of Coca Cola every day has died.

She ate a Mentos and they found her head 3 blocks away


I thought that might crack you up

Cocaine is god's way of saying you're making too much money.

I just bought some Coca Cola stocks.

It's nice to have some liquid assets.

A Mexican man puts two quarters and a nickel into a vending machine to buy a soda

but the price is 65 cents. Instead of dispensing the soda the machine it reads "DIME" so the man leans in and says Quiero una Coca

What would America do if Russia painted the moon red?

Paint Coca Cola over it in white.

Russians Hate Coca Cola

A Russian walks into a store and demands,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca Cola."

After half an hour, the Russian returns and demands again,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca Cola."

After one hour, he comes back for a third time and says to the shopkeeper,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of ... Sprite. It seems Coca Cola makes me sick!"

People never ask how Coca Cola is feeling

They only ask if Pepsi is okay

Please stop making new flavors of coca cola.

Either you put the cocaine back or leave it alone.

Cocaine is such a terrible drug

But it does smell pretty good

How much cocaine do cryptographers use on the daily?

A few anagrams.

I'm more of a Coca-Cola person...

soda speak.

Cocaine isnt addictive

I should know. Ive being doing it for years

Do you know why is cocaine white?

If you say my cocaine..

It's just Michael Caine saying his own name

Coca Cola employees can't dance...

But they can Tango.

Why did the Coca-Cola Company go under?

They ran out of Leaders.

What is Cocaine Addiction?

Just another bump in the road

If the coca-cola bear had random anger fits,

he'd be a bi-polar bear.


I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom.

How do you get a cocaine addict to check into rehab?

You gotta cokes him in

My cocaine dealer is a bit over inquisitive.

He's always sticking his business in other people's noses.

The Cocaine I bought was so white

That it's first words were: mmm, delicious quinoa, susan

The cocaine that I bought is so white..

..That the cops just let it go with a warning.

I don't like cocaine.

It blows.

Recycler's remorse

Crushing coca cola cans is soda pressing.

A guy was talking to a girl....

Guy: Hey Babe, are you a Coca Cola?

Girl: No, why do you ask?

Guy: Because you Open Happiness

(credit to my friend who successfully used this as a pick up line)

Who's coca colas favourite rapper?


What's the difference between domestic violence and Coca Cola?

You can feel the beating, but you can't beat the feeling.

There is an abundance of cocain jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 45 funniest jokes and coca puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cocaine witze you can hear about coca.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes