The Best 60 Coat Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coat jokes. There are some coat leather jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coat mink puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coat Jokes and Puns

Ticket Please

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

What do locking your keys in the car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both are easily fixed with a coat hanger.

I got a puppy for my daughter and a fur coat for my wife...

...best two trades I ever made.

Coat joke, I got a puppy for my daughter and a fur coat for my wife...

Three old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.

The first old lady has a stroke.

The second old lady has a stroke.

The third old lady can't reach that far.

How do you steal a coat joke

You jacket


Three old women were sitting on a bench in the park...

chatting when a man wearing a trench coat approached and flashed them. The first woman instantly had a stroke, as did the second. The third one couldn't quite reach.

So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....

When all of the sudden a flasher comes by and, before they can reach for their canes, opens his trench coat and flashes them. The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady couldn't reach that far.

Coat joke, So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench in the park...

When a wild flasher appears and opens up his trench coat to reveal his nakedness, the first old last has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, the third old lady couldn't reach.

Three old women were sitting on a park bench...

...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.

A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

Two nuns

Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.

You can explore coat robe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coat flasher dad jokes. There are also coat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Three Old Ladies & the Flasher

Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude also had a stroke.

But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of...

...a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, very serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already."

A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex.

The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."

Do you guys want to hear about my Friday night?

I had quite an experience at home by myself. At one point I even picked my coat up from the floor. It was off the hook.

Made this up while laying in bed and yes it's bad. I apologize in advance

A 35 year old house painter walks out of his home on a snowy winter day but quickly scurries back inside and says with a grin on his face "It likes like I'M the one that needs another coat today"

Coat joke, Made this up while laying in bed and yes it's bad. I apologize in advance

A rich woman feigns illness andbleavesba party early

When she gets home, she calls the butler to her bedroom.
"Jeeves? Take off my coat."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, remove my high heels."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, unzip my dress, and remove it...throw it on the floor!
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, remove my brassiere and panties."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves?"
"Yes, madam?"
"If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench.

A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.

A woman's husband dies and gets cremated

She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes"


What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Three little old ladies are sitting at a bus stop...

...when suddenly a man in a trench coat runs up to them and tears open the coat, flashing them his manly parts.

Two of the little old ladies immediately have a stroke.

The third couldn't quite reach.

*NSFW* A vampire walks in to a bar.

He asks the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender brings over the glass of hot water and with a puzzled look asks "don't vampires drink blood?" "Yes" the vampire responds as he pulls a used tampon out of his coat and puts it in the glass "but today I just feel like having tea."

[NSFW] What's the worst thing about...?

....getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.

*Yet another Australian pub joke*

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest.

^^^^I'll ^^^^take ^^^^my ^^^^coat

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...

The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a stroke. The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a stroke. The third lady couldn't reach.

How does a coat steal something?

They jacket

With age comes wisdom

An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any sexual favor you desire!"

The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog.

"I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

A woman was trying on her new fur coat.

Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.

"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"

The woman looked strictly at her daughter.

"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."

A grave digger...

A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.

The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.

The grave digger hits the coffin.

The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.

The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"

Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."

I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic

They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger

What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic?

When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a flasher approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a stroke.
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.

3 nuns are sitting on a bench.

A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn't reach.

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench

when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first old lady had a stroke,

but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

What's the best part of having a suicidal coat?

It hangs itself

Two blondes are locked out of their car...

The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

What's half fruit, half dog and is rather sad?

A Melon Collie.

...I'll get my coat.

Two old ladies sitting on a park bench

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench talking when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first old lady had a stroke, but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.

Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.

Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.

Well, the first old lady immediately has a stroke.

The second old lady has a stroke soon after.

The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.

A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat..

..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??"

"It is not mink, it's polyester!"

"Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"

Two vampires walk into a bar

Two vampires sit down at a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of blood but the second one just asks for a cup of hot water.

The first vampire is surprised by this and remarks "Just water? Are you feeling alright?"

The second vampire waves him off and pulls a dripping tampon from his coat pocket "Yes yes I'm just in the mood for some tea!"

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

Clerk: Hello ma'am, what can we do for you?

Woman: I would like to drop off my coat.

Clerk: Ok, what would you like us to do with it?

Woman: I would like you to get the stain out of the collar area.

Clerk: Come again?

Woman: No, it's mustard this time.

A blonde walked into a gas station...

A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."

"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship.

He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized that there are in fact 20 ships!" The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants."

A man in a trench coat aproaches 3 elderly women on a park bench. He flashes the women.

The first lady had a stroke
The second one also had a stroke
The third lady couldn't reach

Two Blondes leave a bar and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

After trying every door, attempting to call someone for help, and further debate, one blonde says to the other I bet I can unlock the doors with a coat hanger! I'll run inside and see if they have one!

The other blonde says Ok, well hurry because it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down!

There's 3 old ladies sitting on a bench

A man in a trench coat walks out, opens up the coat and flashes them. 2 of the old ladies have a stroke. The 3rd one doesn't because her arms are too short.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench

A flasher runs up and opens his coat.

The first woman immediately had a stroke.

The second had one only a moment later.

The third didn't because she couldn't reach.

What's the worst thing about accidentally locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.

Surprised, the first lady had a stroke. The second lady also had a stroke. The third lady, though, declined to touch it.

Two blondes leave a restaurant and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

The husband fiddles with the door but isn't having any luck.

The wife says I know! I'll run inside and see if they have a coat hanger that we can use to Jimmy the lock!

The husband replies Great idea! But hurry, because it's about to rain and the top is down!

A woman recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.

She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"

She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"

She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?

Here it comes ..."

There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car...

The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?"

The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in."

The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?"

The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger."

The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."

A man is sitting in his easy chair watching the football game when his wife comes in and slaps him in the face.

He says, What was that for!

She says, I found a piece of paper in your coat pocket with the name Dorothy written on it!

The man says, oh that's just the name of the horse I was going to bet on

A week passes and the man is back in his easy chair watching another football game.

Wife walks into the living room and slaps him in the face again.

The man yells, what was that for!

She says, your horse just called...

Dave was getting robbed in the desert

he gave the robber his money and asked the robber shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.

he then asked," shoot a few bullets in the coat while you're at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward"

after the robber shot the coat, he said, "shoot a few holes-"

"please, no more holes, I'm out of bullets"

"that's what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat you black and blue"

My cat's not happy about his coat being twisted into bunches.

Fur's twirled problem!

An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a small plane

The American gets up, goes to the window (it's not *that* small a plane) pulls a wad of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.

"In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away."

The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.

"In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!"

The Ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, throws him out the window.

"In Ukraine, we have plenty of Russians!"

Where do werewolves live?

In a warehouse.




I'll get my coat...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coat hat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coat mink coat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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