The Best 5 Coastguard Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coastguard jokes. There are some coastguard maritime jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coastguard haff puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coastguard Jokes and Puns

A Man is sinking at sea...

In the state of emergency, he follows routine and calls the local coastguard:

''Help, I'm sinking! I'm sinking!''

The German on the other side quickly replies:

''Yes yes, but vat are you sinking about?!''

An english boat in german waters

An english boat is sailing in German waters and the captain says to the coastguards "I'm sinking I'm sinking!". And the coastguard says "What are you sinking about?"

An American coastguard strikes a rock and begins to sink...

The only other vessel nearby was a German coastguard. The Americans contacted the Germans: "Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! We're sinking!"

To which the Germans respond: "Zis is the German coastguard, what are you sinking about?"

My pregnant, coastguard, friend has had an amazing early Christmas present today

She's had a little buoy

"Mayday mayday, we are sinking"

German coastguard:

"What are you thzinkin' about?"


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coastguard garda jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coastguard rcmp piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes