At Sunday mass in a small coastal town, the preacher decides to address the increasing promiscuity of the locals. People were beginning to have more and more pre-marital sex, more children were being born out of wedlock and the number of teenage mothers was on the rise. The fact that it was a tourist spot also meant that one-night flings with visitors was now commonplace.
"In Corinthians 6:18-20 the lord says Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
Continuing in the same vein, he hopes that he is shaming the audience into repentance so that they may amend their ways. As a grand flourish, he ends with, "Now let those among you who have saved themselves for the Lord stand up, so we may gaze upon thee and admire thee."
No one stands up, and all avert their gaze and look at their shoes.
Then, a young mother with a five month old-baby girl stands up at the back.
Everyone is taken aback and the preacher is flustered. "Did you not understand my instruction? Only those who have not had sexual congress may stand!"
"Well, father", the young mother replies, "you can hardly expect this baby to stand up by herself, now, can you?"
Gerrard, a young Parisian stud, books himself a couple of weeks at a coastal nudist colony to work on the tan (and the ladies) but on his first day he realises his member looks like a milk bottle compared to the rest of his tanned, toned body - he doesn't believe in sunbeds and you can't exactly bathe naked on the banks of the Sienne. Thinking quickly, he finds a quite cove of the resort, covers his bits in factor 2 and burries himself in the sand, leaving just his cock and balls sticking out. Shortly thereafter two old ladies happen by.
"Well would you look at that?" says one. "A cock, just there on the beach like that."
"I know." Says the other. "When I was twenty I'd do anything for one. When I was thirty it had to be the right one. When I was forty I had to work for one. When I was fifty I couldn't get one..."
"Aye" says the other woman. "And now the fuckers are growing wild!"
...to pay women from South Carolina for sex.
It's honestly really sad he never got to accomplish his Sea*goals*
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