The Best 66 Coal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coal jokes. There are some coal stuffers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coal ore puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coal Jokes and Puns

neil diamond........

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

Why did Hitler not mind being on the naughty list?

He needed more coal anyway.

Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year?

He got coal for Christmas.

Coal joke, Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year?

I don't understand why we give bad kids coal.

Isn't coal what minors want?

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

When I was 18 I got Coal from Santa

Yup, raising Cole as a single mom was a punishment for being bad, I guess.

Santa gave me coal this year...

So I donated it to Russian charities

Coal joke, Santa gave me coal this year...

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Have you heard the one about the untouched coal pit?

Never mined.

I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old.

I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor.

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

You can explore coal xmas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coal chimneys dad jokes. There are also coal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

Some chick came to me and asked for a German method of coal extraction

Mein schaft she got!

Santa probably regrets giving coal

Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty children now that global warming is threatening his habitat.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie?

He was a miner.

Coal joke, Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie?

Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.

They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.

So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.

Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.

Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."

A coal miner walks into a bar.

And the bartender says, We don't serve your kind here.
The coal miner snorts, You mean you don't serve 'minors'? Never heard that one before.
No, I mean we don't serve black people. '

One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk

He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel

What did Stephen Hawking get in his stocking for Christmas?

Black Coal

So I wrote a Musical

It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.

I decided to write it in A flat minor.

I opened a bar in the coal town of Gillette, WY.

Unfortunately, I was shut down for serving miners.

The news report was that an elevator for the coal shaft broke down, trapping 27 workers

But it was just a miner inconvenience

What did the bad rapper get for Christmas?

J Coal

I think that homeless children should get coal for Christmas...

We need to keep them warm enough to shovel our driveways!

An old lady walked into a store...

... and asked for a german method of coal extraction.

Mein Shaft she got

The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change

In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow.

Coffee asked "Why do I always get coal in my stocking."

Santa: Because your on the Not Tea list.

Why do some snowmen have brown mouths?

Not everyone can afford coal.

I asked Santa for a new energy policy...

...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-(

Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open?

Because when it comes to energy they're conservative.

What do you call an insignificant underage coal digger?

A minor minor miner

My Uncle has a coal fetish.

Its why he likes to bang miners.

Only Coal Miners Will Get This

Black lung disease.

Trump could easily jumpstart the coal industry

He should put coal miners to work excavating his Christmas stocking

TIL why coal production has drastically slowed down within the past 10 years

It is believed the labor involved in this risky job was causing miner pain.

What's the difference between the President and a canary in a coal mine?

The President can still tweet.

My cousin thinks it's illegal to have sex with someone who digs for coal.

She says it's against the law to be with a miner.

Do you know how to confuse a coal miner?

Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.

I work across the street from a coal powerplant..

You could say they are a real ash hole.

Creating diamonds in a pressure cooker is awesome and it's really...

... pretty coal.

Why do the scouts always get coal from Santa?

Because they're all on the knotty list

America's new tax plan raises taxes on coal miners

Which is weird. I thought American politicians were rather fond of minors.

Santa comes to the White House....

Santa arrives at the White House and hands Donald Trump his Christmas present. Trump excitedly tears open his gift then looks up at Santa in shock. "What?", Santa exclaims. "I thought you LOVED coal.

What do German coal workers and gay men have in common?

They're always entering mein shaft.

If coal is so bad for the environment...

why don't we just burn it all?

Did you hear the one about the guy who hated coal?

Never mined.

Two nuns are in front of an abandoned coalmine.

(its better in dutch but it translates)

Two nuns are walking in front of an old (abandoned) coal mine.
One nun says to the other nun: mine's smelly today.
Says the other nun: mine too.

What chord do you make when you drop a grand piano down a coal shaft?

A flat minor.

I think someone is stealing coal from my coal mine

​​One day he'd sure be caught black handed

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

People shoukd not be shamed for their kinks. I get turned on by someone who smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I get called a monster, simply because I am attracted to miners.

What does Trump want for Christmas?

beautiful clean coal from Santa Mueller Clause.

I hope this hasn't been said before.

Christmas in the USSR is as such:

good children get coal, bad children mine coal for next year

The blackest dad

3 kids were arguing to see who had the blackest dad.

The first kid says: "My dad is so black, when he pee, it comes out petroleum"

The second kid says: "That's nothing compared to my dad, he's so black that when he takes a dump, he poops coal"

The third kid laughs and say: "you think that's black? My dad's so black that when he farts, we stay a week in the dark"

What does someone with a history or violence who digs up coal, and an 11 year old who swears at you during online hames have in common?

They're both offensive minors.

Sorry about the temperature down the mine today

It's coal man

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

When I Was A Child Santa Gave Me Coal One Year For Christmas, So I Poisoned His Cookies And Milk

Somehow he found out and killed my dad!

What do you call an anthracite coal fan?

A hardcoal fan

I have a now famous relative

I have a now famous relative named Neil Coal who works in music. Back in 2003 he was under pressure to release his first album.

You might know him as Niel Diamond.

Did you hear about the coal digger who was charged as a sexual deviant?

He was found in possession of miner clothing.

I scraped my elbow looking for coal

It was a miner injury.

Reddit rules say no jokes involving minors....

That's a shame cos I've got a great one about the coal mine I use to work in.

A gigantic gas explosion in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only *miner* injuries.

A walkie talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie.

Radio-carbon dating

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coal minors jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coal claus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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