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Coach Jokes

175 coach jokes and hilarious coach puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coach that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

These coach jokes will put a smile on the face of any football, life, soccer, basketball, baseball, or softball coach. Whether the jokes are about a bad coach, a player, cheerleaders, or an announcer, they will bring a lighthearted break to the game and players. Don't miss out on these hilarious coach jokes.

Best Short Coach Jokes

Short coach jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coach humour may include short trainer jokes also.

  1. My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a player," she laughed. "No," I said, "I'm their coach."
  2. Snoop Dogg goes to a vocal coach The coach asks him "Can you sing very high?"
    Snoop says "I can't sing if I'm not."
  3. Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"
  4. What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen!
    --------
    Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.
  5. Swimming Coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?" Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."
  6. Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach
    B. Because she keeps running away from the ball
  7. Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
  8. After an embarrassing loss, the coach announced to the players: When I told you to play like you have never played before, i did not mean that you should play like you have never *played* before!
  9. Coach always used to say "Aim for the skies, boy". He doesn't say that anymore after I blinded myself at archery practice.
  10. Yo Mamma so fat... Yo mamma so fat, that when you were being delivered at the hospital the doctor had to send in a rescue diver. He pulled out you, 11 other kids, and a soccer coach.

Quick Jump To


Coach joke, Yo Mamma so fat...


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about coach can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of coach puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Coach One Liners

Which coach one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coach? I can suggest the ones about athlete and assistant.

  1. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach.
  2. What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach.
  3. What did the football player say to the flight attendant? Put me in coach.
  4. Did you hear about the gay football coach? He turns tight ends into wide receivers
  5. I don't think my 3rd base coach likes me. He keeps telling me to go home.
  6. Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach? Arnold Schwarzeneighbor
    (OC)
  7. Why did the birthing coach buy a red Corvette? She was having a midwife crisis.
  8. I got a text from my life coach today. He said I didn't make the team.
  9. Why was Cinderella a lousy basketball player? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  10. Q: Why did the coach give his football team lighters? A: They kept losing their matches.
  11. Why did the football coach ask for a refund? He wanted to get his quarterback.
  12. Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis? Because her coach was a pumpkin
  13. Why did the football coach break into the vending machine? To get his quarterback.
  14. Gandalf is the new coach of the Seattle Seahawks.
  15. What does a cannibal life coach value in their clients? *Consistency.*

Football Coach Jokes

Here is a list of funny football coach jokes and even better football coach puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A White Guy. If a white guy is surrounded by 3 black guys, he's getting robbed. 30 black guys, he's a football coach. 300 black guys he's a prison guard.
  • A football player was late to conditioning practice His coach asked "Why are you late?"
    The player replies "I was shampooing. I always shampoo before conditioning."
  • What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? I want my quarterback!
  • What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys Basketball Coach.
    What do you call a white guy with 10 black guys, football coach
    What do you call a white guy with 250 black guys?
    Warden
  • Why do football players never fly first class? They always say "Put me in coach!"
  • Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser? Because he missed a split-end on a curl.
  • Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well? Her coach was a pumpkin
  • My Football coach got fired because he got accused on Pedophillia charges. But say what you want about the man, he could turn any young tight end into a wide receiver.
  • Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!
  • My wife is divorcing me because I'm obsessed with Football coaching. In my defence, I have J.J.Watt, Michael Bennett, and Richard Sherman.

Soccer Coach Jokes

Here is a list of funny soccer coach jokes and even better soccer coach puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did cinderella quit the soccer team? Because her coach was a pumpkin and she couldn't get to the ball
  • What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver? I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in
  • Thai soccer team and their coach gets stuck in underground cave for 15 days... ...still better divers than Neymar JR.
  • TIFU by substituting in the wrong player in an important soccer game, I'm the coach Whoops, wrong sub
  • Today I turned on the TV and saw twelve Thai boys, a soccer coach and a happy ending. I've already seen this movie.
  • What did the soccer coach trapped in a cave with his players say when they were finally freed? "See ya at practice tomorrow boys"
  • Why did the soccer coach become a high school counselor. Because he wanted his team to make more goals
  • I asked my soccer coach what we are.. He said "We Are Number One!"
  • I was molested by my soccer coach... He just wanted to see me s**... seed.

Basketball Coach Jokes

Here is a list of funny basketball coach jokes and even better basketball coach puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team? You're going to have to ci-tris one out.
  • Q: Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?
    A: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • Why would Indians make great basketball coaches? They invented Curry
  • Spring training camp for the midget basketball league is coming to an end and the coaching staff is being quite lazy... There's going to be a lot of short-cuts taken.
  • AITA when coaching my son's basketball team for putting in a better player at the last minute (who never showed up to practice) instead my own son? Whoops, wrong sub!
  • Famous basketball coach Bobby Knight decided to throw a party. *chair
  • A husband and his wife. "honey I have a confession to make. I've been seeing a psychiatrist"
    "Thats's okay dear" the wife replied. "I've been seeing the pool man and our daughter's basketball coach"
  • I've been asked to stop traveling... ...by my basketball coach.
  • Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because her coach was always a pumpkin.

Head Coach Jokes

Here is a list of funny head coach jokes and even better head coach puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Usain's little secret. Right before the gun shot, Usain Bolt's head coach, from within the crowd yells out, "Congratulations Usain, You've just become a father."
  • "Worst performance" "We had the worst performance of 2016" ~ urban myer (Ohio State's head coach)
    "Hold my drink....."~ Mariah Carey
  • The head coach of the Cleveland Browns walks into a bar after chopping some wood. The bartender says "That's a huge axe son."
  • My 8 year old daughter said she needed a new head coach at school I figured why not have my wife be the new head coach? She's great at it!
  • What's similar between a head coach and a rapper? They both love a good hustle.

Life Coach Jokes

Here is a list of funny life coach jokes and even better life coach puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach... It'll inspire change within yourself
  • My life coach told me I was going to be traded at the end of the year.
  • Business coach: remember, career ladder is like driving a bicycle. If it's hard, then u go up.
    One of the managers to himself: then whole my life i was riding without a saddle and off road.
  • I was going to get my certification to be an official Life Coach!... ...but I just never really got around to it.
  • Life coach: "Always try to get off on the right foot." Me: "Wow, that's a VERY specific f**...!"
Coach joke, Life coach: "Always try to get off on the right foot."

Howlingly Hilarious Coach Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about coach you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crew jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make coach prank.

j**... Sandusky was actually a pretty successful coach...

... he turned many tight ends into wide receivers.

I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?

Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.

The coach discovers he is going to die in a week

He tells his wife: I want to clear my conscience. I have been unfaithful to you, only once, with your sister.
She says: That's okay. I too have been unfaithful to you, only once, with the football team.

If a powerlifter has weak legs...

does his coach put him on the Bench?

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

A football player is seriously ill

On a press conference the coach of a famous football team announces that their best player, George d**..., won't be playing in the next game. After the conference a reporter comes up to the coach and asks "Just wanted to check if you're okay with the headline... it'll be 'Team plays without d**...' "
"Nah, that doesn't sound good. Change it"
So when the coach checked the newspaper the next morning, the headline read "Team plays with d**... out!"

A football coach addresses his team amidst rumors of his racism...

and says:
"I know people have been saying things, but those rumors couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, I don't care what color any of you are. I don't care if you're black. I don't care if you're white. It simply doesn't matter. So, I'll tell you what. From now on, you're all green.
"Now, everybody get on the bus. Light green in front, dark green in back."

Star football player Steve was about to be sacked for bad grades . . .

. . . but the team was on a winning streak, and he was badly needed. The head coach pleaded with the college president, and managed to convince him to allow the student to continue to play if he could spell just one word correctly. "Okay, Steve," the coach told him. "It's an easy one. Just spell the name of your favorite drink." "Sure coach. Khaphy."

To improve control of my off hand, my coach told me to start using it to brush my teeth..

It worked! My dexterity and hand-eye coordination improved immensely! Now if I could just do something about these cavities.

What did the Kyptonian cheerleading coach say to the unenthusiastic yes-man?

Zeal before nod!

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on
What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon
What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater
What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped
What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest
What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

A man and his blind dog

An old, retired coach is walking his blind dog and a couple walk by and ask to pet the dog, They inquire about the dog's name and he replies, "Timothy."
"What a strange name for a dog," the lady exclaimed.
The coach, without skipping a beat replied, "Well, there's no 'eye' in Tim"

What did Indys defense say Chuck Pagano after their loss to New England?

But coach, you've told us all year "don't hit the Blount"

Joe Paterno was such a good coach...

...that after he died, he won another 112 games.

Have you heard that Gandalf is joining the Seahawks as a coach?

He has only one strat: "You shall not pass!"

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team

Because I hate dealing with parents.

Coach Krzyzewski thinks he's playing wheel of fortune...

"I'd like to buy a foul"

Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."

What do you call a white man...

...surrounded by 5 black guys?
Coach.
What do you call a black man surrounded by 5 white guys?
Rodney King

What did the Italian baseball coach say about the only woman on the team?

Ciabatta very good!

Horton must be a first base coach...

Since he hears a who.

zlatan was late to practice

So the coach punished all the other teammates for being early

What did the comedy coach tell his worst student after his practice?

"Are you making a Mochrie out of improv?"

Why a centipede cannot fly coach?

Not enough leg room!

What do you call.......

What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black guys? Coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by eleven black guys? Football coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by hundreds of black guys? Warden.

The Voice Coach

Voice Coach: "Let's start with a scale."
Student: "Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, t**..., doooh!"
Voice Coach: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"

Making Jokes About Racial Stereotypes

What do you call a white man surrounded by 4 black men?
Coach.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 12 black men?
Football Coach.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 40 black men?
Football Referee.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 black men?
Warden.

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?

Coach.
What do you call one white guy surrounded by 100 black guys?
Warden.

A french gymnast is getting ready to perform...

His coach walks up and says, "Break a leg!"

Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?

She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.

Why did the coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarterback.

In the locker room after the game...

The guys have finished playing, have showered, and are getting dressed. Dennis pulls out a black lace bra and p**... and starts to put them on.
His team mates begin laughing, and making fun of him. The coach asks, "Hey, Dennis! Since when did you start wearing women's underwear?"
Dennis replies, "Since my wife found them under the passenger seat of my car."

A SEO specialist walks into a bar...

Pub, tavern, hostelry, Inn, coach house, restaurant, watering hole, speakeasy...

In the 90's Arsenal Soccer Club

Had a player called David d**.... When he was injured,the Newspaper wrote"arsenal to play without d**...". The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read"Arsenal to play with d**... out"... A record number of women attended the match

BREAKING: Messi has just been substituted by a noob player, these are the words of the coach post-game!

"Ah woops, wrong sub"

Did you hear about the doctor that didn't like waiting and was also the coach of the Kenyan running team?

His patients was running thin.

My baseball coach told me to steal first base..

So I grabbed it and ran as fast as I could!

What happens when you permit your wife to spend extra hours with her tennis coach?

Hopefully a good reason to divorce her.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 12 black guys?

**A Basketball Coach**
What do you call a black guy surrounded by six white guys?
**Police Brutality**
(Again, sorry if I offended you. Just trying to make a joke.)

A bad boxer

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.
"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.
"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

What do you call it when a misogynist is your jogging coach?

A tool-assisted speedrun

An upset parent walks up to the coach of a local minor league's baseball team, "Excuse me, sir, but don't you think 'The Browns' is a racist name to have for the team?"

The coach replies, "what? No, the name is simply because the uniforms are brown. In fact, to avoid any signs of racism with the name, we don't allow any brown people on the team."

Why Cinderella fail her P.E. class?

Her coach was a pumpkin

A man went out a cold winter day

on the ice and started drilling a hole.
Theres no fish under the ice! a voice said. But the man just ignored it and continued to drill
Theres no fish under the ice! The voice said again. The man got nervous
Is it God speaking? He asked
No the is hockey coach. Now get out of the ice hockey hall!

Why did the diet coach send her . .

Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
She heard you could get thinner there.

What did the North Korean coach say to the figure skater before her competition?

We expect great execution.
What did the coach say after a poor performance?
We expect great execution.

What do you call it when your birthing coach won't come to help you deliver your baby?

A mid-wife crisis

Everyone on my flight got mad at me...

Because i got my kid a ticket in coach while i flew first class.
She's 4 months old she can handle herself.

What did the announcer say when the coach sent a pill bug in to be the goaltender?

"Breathing is very important when you're swimming," informed my coach.

Quite right. You can't swim when you're dead.

My wife hates cleaning so now I'm paying for a maid, she hates changing diapers so now I'm paying for a nanny...

And she hates having s**... with me so now I'm paying for a tennis coach.

What does the Jewish track coach do to the female runner?

He Kosher.

What do you call a meijer in a large city?

An Ohio State Coach

Coach joke, What do you call a meijer in a large city?

jokes about coach

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these coach jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.