Following is our collection of indication puns and conundrum one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Clue jokes for adults, dirty decipher jokes and clean unt dad gags for kids.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
She said, Sure. How many letters?
Me: I'm guessingβ- Too many.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
Because then it would be called "Solved."
I have no clue, I just fly the drone.
Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
"Got no clue", he said.
I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"
He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."
I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.
Two, but I have no clue how they got in there.
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
They're called the Clue Clucks Clan
A man kills a Deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his Wife, decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the
meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
"Well," he said,
"It's what Mummy calls me, sometimes."
The little girl screams to her Brother,
"Don't eat it, it's an arsehole.."
I go in hard and pull out when I realise I have no clue what I'm doing
Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.
When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.
"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.
Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.
"Hablan ustedes EspaΓ±ol?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.
Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.
A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."
The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"
One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"What?"
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"
Two men are sat completing a crossword puzzle on a train, sat across from them is a Priest. The first man starts to scratch his head, and he asks the man across from him:
"A word, four across, ending with unt..."
The other man asks him:
"Well, what's the clue?"
He replies:
"It just says 'a woman,' that's all."
"Aunt?"
"Ah, yes it is!"
The man looks down, nodding in agreement. Across the carriage a feeble voice, the Priest.
"Can I borrow an eraser?"
I asked my 21 brothers and sisters and they had no clue either.
There was an old lady there who looked like she had absolutely no clue what she was doing, after a bit of fumbling with the keys, she turned to me and said, "You look like a helpful young lad, Could you help me check my balance."
So I pushed her over.
...which said: "I can't do it, it's not working anymore."
Door could be opened. Light is fully functional. Beer is cold.
I got no clue what she was talking about
An Evangelical Christian church.
I don't have a clue how I'm going to get all that done by tomorrow.
"Do you have a bottle of less?" asks the man
The bartender looks confused, and says "Never heard of that one. you know what it is, what the bottle looks like?"
The man says "I have no clue what it looks like, but when I went to the doctor yesterday he said I should start drinking less."
I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was "Dishonestly gaining a advantage," eight letters.
I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.
John Lennon, proving he was a terrible Clue player
I've been his customer for over 5 years...I had no clue he was a mechanic.
i'd just be wondering why I have so much money
He said, "That's 'inconvenient'."
I said, "I know. That's why I need your help."
I have no clue how they work.
Because then it wouldn't be a mystery.
Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.
I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue.
- You know? my uncle is now resting in peace
- I had no clue your uncle had died
- No, the one who died was my aunt
A Clue Clucks Clan
Ah well, it's not the end of the world.
Because then it would be called "solved".
I have no clue how to operate it.
Early on, you figure out how to make it up to the controls... Only to realize you have no clue what to do once you get there.
The difference between men and women? When men go shopping they know what they want, but not where it is. When women go shopping they have no clue what they want, but know exactly where it is.
Unbelievable! I've been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!ο»Ώ
He didn't even know the address.
Person 1, "Your dishwasher stops working and like any good mechanic you hit it and tell it to get back to work, and it does. You return later to find dishes that are only half clean. Why?"
Person 2, "I have no clue."
Person 1, "You must have hit her in the eye."
... but still misses some answers.
She asks for a help her best friend,
"Jane, could you help me solving this pls. - the clue says 'Feminine intercourse part' - with 4 letters.."
"Across or down?" asks her friend.
"It's across"
"Then it should be lips"
He's asking me to investigate, but then suspected me.
One thing for sure, I have no Clue.
Two blondes are spending some time together, the one is watching TV while the other struggles with one particular crossword question for some time now...
After a while she decides to ask her friend for help..
- Do you know the answer to the clue "Female sex organ"?
-- Hmmmm. Horizontally or vertically?
- Horizontally
-- Oh yes! "Mouth"
Fork
It's called Flint River Clue. The only weapon is a lead pipe.
The answer is spine.
Because then it'd be called "Sorry!" and that's already a game.
While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.
"The word is eight letters long and starts with m, and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"
"Monogamy," he answered
I think it's completely insane! I've been his customer for years and I had no clue he was a barber.
Me: Oh, the announcer just said the Germans got in via the repechage.
Wife: What's that?
Me: I have no clue.
Wife: I think it means they went through Belgium.
...were walking through a meadow on a beautiful summer day.
"Grandpa," said the boy, "why is the grass green?"
The old man shrugged. "No idea," he grunted.
Then the boy asked, "Grandpa, why do the flowers smell so nice?"
"Beats me," said the old man.
"Grandpa, what makes the wind blow?"
"No clue."
"Grandpa," said the boy, "do you mind me asking you all these questions?"
"Of course not," said the old man. "How else will you learn anything?"
The kid asked their 10 brothers and sisters, but they had no clue either.
No clue. But I'll give you $20 if you laugh.
And he didn't have a clue!
She's 70 now and doesn't have a clue where she is.
He realized far too late that he shouldn't have brought Slippery Soap with him.
I only drink on days that end with "why".
Not a clue.
"I havanna clue"
When it comes to flower colours, the person who made this has no clue.
Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of "Do you know how fast you were going?!"
"Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."
...when he is pulled over by a Proton. Proton: do you know how fast you were going?
Electron: yes, but now I have no clue as to where I am.
No clue why he was chasing me though..
I had no clue why until she began to deep throat me in a parking garage
The Clue Clucks Clan
But I don't have a clue on where to start
And we still have no clue where she is.
apparently the answer to the clue, Word with "black" or "photo", is not "shoot".
Kwanzaa. I don't think anyone has a clue what that holiday is.
Becuase if there were it would be called solved
"What's so special 'bout you that makes women 70 years younger than you crave your company, if ye know what I mean?"
"I honestly got no clue young man"-He answered, as he began to
slowly lick his own eyebrows.
I said I didn't have a Clue.
I don't have a Clue.
Here's a clue, take the f out of free, and then take the f out of way.
Roman 1: Hey what year are we living in?
Roman 2: 50 BC
Roman 1: What's BC?
Roman 2: Before Christ
Roman 1: Who's Christ?
Roman 2: I have no clue man
No clue. They just ransomware.
Which is a shame because I'd like to do it again next week.
I guess it's going to take another few reads before this sinks in.
The company has stated that they believe that the red hat will be a major clue in their long time search for Carmen Santiago.
clue* this is the joke
They looked at me dumbfounded as if they didn't have a clue!
She's 70 odd now and I've not got a clue where she is.
I am a victim of emojical abuse
Actually, nevermind. I don't have a clue how it goes!
A woman was laying in bed with her husband at night when she said:"honey i m cold" , he said: "wear warmer clothes", then she said "i m still very cold" he responds "cover yoursef with another blanket" ,the wife who seemed displeased said:"when i was cold my mother used to hug me tightly and cuddle til we slept" her husband says in an angry voice:"Are you telling me we should bring your mother to sleep with us,why do you always say unromantic things in bed!".
There is an abundance of newbie jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 86 funniest jokes and clue puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any malady witze you can hear about clue.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.