Clubbing Jokes
63 clubbing jokes and hilarious clubbing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clubbing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your night out more fun with these hilarious clubbing jokes. Get ready to make your mates laugh with jokes about dancing seals, disco music and even the occasional swinger's club. Get ready to party with the best Clubbing jokes!
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- Short Clubbing Jokes
- Clubbing One Liners
- Clubbing Seal Jokes
- Seal Clubbing Jokes
- More Clubbing Jokes
Funniest Clubbing Short Jokes
Short clubbing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clubbing humour may include short nightclub jokes also.
- I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.
- I went to my first Fight Club meeting last night Unfortunately I arrived 10 minutes late so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone.
- The First Rule of Fight Club... ... Is to not talk about fight club.
The second rule of fight club...
Please keep your seat belt on at all times when the light is on. - I met a girl at a club the other night who said she'd show me a good time and incredibly, when we got outside... She ran a 40-meter dash in just 4.5 seconds.
- fight club I went to my first fight club meeting last night, i showed up late so i missed the first few rules but it was awesome i love fight club cant wait for the next meeting
- Fight Club was awesome! Hey guys so I found this Fight Club last night and had a blast! I showed up a little late so I missed some of the rules but I highly recommend it!
- I'm opening a new gay club called "Garage Sale" Because one mans junk is another mans treasure!
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore.
- My friend and I tried to start an erectile dysfunction club... ...but it flopped and nobody came.
- So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number... and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!
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Clubbing One Liners
Which clubbing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clubbing? I can suggest the ones about clubbed seal and clubs.
- I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion It was a total flop. Nobody came.
- What do u call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for years? Church
- What do you call a book club that's been stuck on only one book for years? The Church
- The first rule of passive aggressive club is... You know what, nevermind. It's fine.
- Congratulations West Ham The only club named after two things that ISIS hate.
- What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years? Church
- Where does Sir Lancelot go to party? A knight club.
- First rule of Vegan club: You tell everyone about Vegan club.
- Everyone was excited at the autopsy club... It was open Mike night.
- I'm starting a club for night owls. Who's up for that?
- Autopsy club tonight at 8pm It's open Mike night
- Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.
- I'm really excited about the new autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is Open Mike night.
- The first rule of Paradox Club is not the first rule of Paradox Club.
- What's the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club? Tell everybody
Clubbing Seal Jokes
Here is a list of funny clubbing seal jokes and even better clubbing seal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A seal walks into a bar... The bartender asks, What would you like?
"Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks." - A baby seal walks into a bar. Bar keep asks, "what do you want?"
The baby seal replies, "anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks." - What's a baby seals' least favourite drink? Canadian Club on the Rocks
- A baby seal walks into a bar... ... and says,"I'll have anything but a Canadian Club."
- Why can't seals be famous DJs? Because they're scared of club hits
- A seal walks into a bar
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"
The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."
- Why did a seal go to the bar? .... Because he didn't want to go clubbing.
- What's a seal's favorite social activity? Clubbing...
I'm so sorry - A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will you have?"
The seals says, "Anything but a Canadian Club." - A harp seal walks into a bar Takes a seat at the bar. The bartender asks "what would you like?" The harp seal replies, "anything but a Canadian club."
Seal Clubbing Jokes
Here is a list of funny seal clubbing jokes and even better seal clubbing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A seal asked the bartender for a drink... He gave him a Canadian Club - on the rocks.
- I tried telling a seal clubbing joke to someone from Iqaluit... but they were having Nunivut.
- I don't get why Clubbing Seals is so controversial? I mean, I'm kinda curious what sort of music they listen to?
- A Baby Seal Walks Into a Bar, Goes up to the bar and the barkeep asks, 'What would you like?'
Baby Seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks.' - A baby seal walked into a club.
- A seal walks into a bar... And the bartender says "what will it be?"
The seal replies "I'm fine with anything as long as it's not Canadian club." - I had this really great seal clubbing joke I was telling my friend from Iqaluit last week... but they were having Nunavut.
- A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, "what are you going to have?"
The seal replies, "anything except Canadian club." - Why don't seals dance? Because they don't like clubbing!
- So a baby seal walks into a bar... and the barkeep says "What'll ya have little fella?" and the seal says "Anything but the Canadian club."
Gather Around for Heartwarming Clubbing Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about clubbing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean club bouncer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clubbing pranks.
John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.
His buddies are amazed. "There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old g**... like you. How did you pull it off?"
"It's simple," John says, "I lied to her about my age."
"Did you tell her you were 50?" his friends ask. John shakes his head no.
"There is no way she could believe you were 40". John shakes his head again.
"So how old did you tell her you were exactly??"
John smiles and says "85".
One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow b**... in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."
A shooting club was holding a competition. The winner was to get a somewhat ugly trophy, the second-placed shooter - a crate of champagne.
By the end of the final round, two shooters were tied for first place, so they were told to do a tiebreaker round - 5 shots at maximum distance. To keep things more dramatic, they had to shoot at the same time.
After both had stopped firing and were awaiting the results, one shooter turned to his rival and said with a little smile: "I'm sorry, pal. I put all five shots in the wall."
"I'm sorry, too," replied the other, "because I put all of mine into your target."
My dad told me never to go to a cheap, s**..., dirty, raunchy s**... club, because you'll see something you really shouldn't.
So I went.
And I saw my dad.
My dad said 'Son, stay out of s**... clubs or you might see something you shouldn't.
So i went in and he was right.
I saw my dad.
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't," he replied.
Your mothers so fat
They started calling her h**... at the s**... club for all the damage she did to the Poles.
Welcome to the s**... Innuendo Club
Thank you all for coming.
A white woman takes a black man she met a club home...
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Man and his wife join a weight loss club. They're told to try and lose at least 2 pounds by the next week.
When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.
The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".
"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.
"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.
"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.
"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".
My dad told me once, son, stay out of s**... clubs or you might see something you shouldn't. So of course, I went, and he was right.
I saw my dad
Usain Bolt goes to a golf course...
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
18 year old: Dad I turn 18 today!
Dad: great, I'm taking you the s**... club tonight.
18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.
Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.
Here is an actual sign posted in a golf club.
1. Back straight, knees bent.
2. Feet shoulder width apart.
3. Form a loose grip.
4. Keep your head down!
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please while others are preparing.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Well done. Now, flush the u**... and go outside and tee off.
