Club Bouncer Jokes
22 club bouncer jokes and hilarious club bouncer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about club bouncer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Club Bouncer Short Jokes
Short club bouncer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The club bouncer humour may include short bar bouncer jokes also.
- Police have confirmed today that the man who fell from a night club roof. Was not a bouncer.
- If I ran a night club I'd hire a rabbit to guard the front door. I heard they're good bouncers.
- Me and my friends tried to enter a vegan club Unfortunately the bouncer did not lettuce in.
- Bouncer with the best name ever I went to the club last night and met this half Spanish, half Russian bouncer with the most appropriate name ever: Julio Buggeroff.
- Bouncer wouldn't let me in the club without a tie, so I wrapped jumper cables around my neck. He let me in, but told me I better not start anything inside.
- What did the mushroom say to the bouncer who kicked him outta the club? Oh, c'mon! I'm a fungai!
- A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a s**... club. The bouncer checks their ID's and says
"sorry guys, come back when you're 21." - Worst job Who has the worst job at a s**... club?
The bouncer, He has to work hard all night.
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Club Bouncer One Liners
Which club bouncer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with club bouncer? I can suggest the ones about bouncer and nightclub.
- What happened when the club owner forgot his bouncer's birthday? He let his guard down.
- I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.
- Have you heard of the new club Pooh's Honey Jar? The bouncers name was Tigger!
Great Club Bouncer Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about club bouncer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bouncy castle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make club bouncer pranks.
Chad's wife decided to surprise him on his birthday
and to show him that she's a cool wife, she took him to a s**... club.
At the club:
Bouncer: Hi Chad! How you doing tonight?
Wife: How does he know you?
Chad: We play golf together!
Bartender: Evening Chad! The usual?
Wife: And how does he know you?!
Chad: Um, he's on the bowling team!
Hot blonde stripper: Hey s**..., champagne room again tonight?
At this point the wife loses it and storms out of the club, dragging Chad with her, into a taxi.
Taxi driver: Hey Chad! Boy... You picked a fat one tonight huh? Same motel?
Mr Bestetti, we have carried a lot of prostitutes here, but I don't remember ever seeing such an old, ugly and spiteful one
It's 10 pm and a rich businessman, Mr. Bestetti, is working at his home office when his wife enters the room shouting: "I have talked with our priest, he told me everything! You cheat on me by going to the s**...! I am going to go to the lawyer and get a divorce, and you'll give me half of everything, even of our offshore secret bank account!"
To this the husband replies: "No, darling. I actually only go to the club when I have worked for long hours with a foreign businessman. At the end of the day he is tired, doesn't know what to do, so I accompany him and leave him there."
The wife doesn't seem convinced, so she asks to go to the s**... with her husband and check. The husband reluctantly agrees.
At the entrance, the bouncer greets them: "Good evening Mr. Bestetti!" The husband quickly explains to his wife: "This bouncer is actually the brother of one of my employees, I found him this job, that's why he knows me and greets me so kindly."
In the hall, a waitress also greets them and says: "I will give you your favourite table, Mr Bestetti, right in front of the stage." The wife starts shouting, but Mr Bestetti silences her: "I am a very important businessman. The waitress is just showing me respect and giving me a special table."
Inside, another waitress approaches them, brings a cigar to Mr Bestetti and says: "Here's your favourite cigar, Mr Bestetti." The wife is getting quite angry, but he immediately clarifies: "She also works at the tobacconist near my office during the day, that's why she knows which cigars I prefer."
Meanwhile, a group of girls is dancing and on the stage. At the end, the nicest girl remains on her own on the stage and starts removing all of her clothes. At the end she gets her underwear off, holds it up and asks the audience: "To whom shall I gif them?" To which the audience responds in a chorus: "To Mr Bestetti!"
The wife gets mad and starts shouting to her husband. "Cheater! b**...! You were lying to me all along!" she says, before storming out of the building and jumping in a taxi.
Mr Bestetti follows her quickly and manages to enter the same taxi, but she keeps screaming and also repeatedly hitting him with her purse.
After a while, the taxi driver turns back and says: "Mr Bestetti, we have carried a lot of prostitutes here, but I don't remember ever seeing such an old, ugly and spiteful one!
A man tries to get into a classy nightclub
but gets stopped by the bouncer. "You have to have a tie to get in here bro," says the bouncer. Distraught the man goes to his car and searches for a tie but can only find jumper cables. He wraps them around his neck and goes back to the club. "Can I get in now?" he asks. "Yea ok," says the bouncer, "But don't start anything!"
A man tries to get into a club
The bouncer says, "I'd like to see your id"
The man replies, "I want to drink until I black out and screw anything that walks."
The bouncer nods his head respectively, "and your superego?"
"Ill have a few drinks and get a ride home."
Cred to C&H
A piece of string wanted to get into a club
A piece of string wanted to get into a club that didn't let in pieces of string. So he twisted himself up, and frayed his top end.
The bouncer asked "Hey, aren't you a piece of string ?"
The piece of string said "No, I'm a frayed knot"
A man walks up to a night club and tries to enter.
The bouncer turns him away saying he needs to wear a tie or something around his neck.
The man walks back to his car and comes back a few minutes later with some jumper cables around his neck.
The bouncer reluctantly lets him in saying, "alright, but don't start anything"
A guy goes to a club.No entry_-_
A guy goes to a club; the bouncer stops him. "No tie, no entry." He walks back to his car to find a tie. All he found were jumper cables so he puts them around his neck like a tie. He goes back and says "How's this?" The bouncer says "I'll let you in, but don't start anything."
I tried to lie to the bouncer about my age when so I could enter the club...
Me: "23 sir".
Bouncer: "Hmm you don't look 23..."
Me: "Oh stop it you're making me blus-"
Bouncer: "You look like you're in your 30s".