clown Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious clown puns

Screw that clown from IT.

Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.

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As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown.

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"

Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."

Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"

Susie replies "I'm burying my gold fish."

Mr Johnson laughs and asks "Why is the hole so big?"

Susie replies "Because my goldfish is inside your fucking cat".

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The other day I held the door for a clown.

I thought it was a nice jester.

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".

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What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

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McDonald's will give you a free combo meal...

McDonald's will give you a free combo meal and £127.38 if you go to the Drive Thru dressed as a clown.

With a gun.

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They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size.

Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier.

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The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...

#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

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A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department

He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.

"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"

The man asks, "why the clown?"

The police chief replies, "Fantastic attitude, you're hired!"

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It must be tough having the world's best clown as your dad.

You would have such big shoes to fill

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Which clown has killed the most people?

Ronald McDonald

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Two clowns are running for public office...

It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

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What do you call a Jewish clown?

Pennywise

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A kid and a clown are walking through the woods.

The kid looks around and says, "man these woods sure are scary"

The clown replies, "you're telling me I have to walk out of here alone."

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A clown is walking through the woods with a kid

The kid looks up at the clown, "It's getting late, and I'm getting scared."

Clown says, "YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal...

One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal

One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."

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THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK!

A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods. The boy says "it sure is dark and scary here". The clown says "how do you think I feel? I'm coming back alone".

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A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night...

"Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"

"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

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A little boy and a clown are walking into the woods together holding hands

It's night time and everything is very dark.

The little boy turns to the clown and says "I'm scared"

To which the clown turns to him and replies "You're scared! I'm the one that's gotta walk out of here alone"

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A little boy and a clown go walking into the woods.

As they get deeper and deeper into the woods, the little boy starts looking around, apprehensive.

"Boy, it sure is getting scary in here." the little boy says.

"YOU'RE scared?" the clown replies, "I still have to walk back out of here by myself!"

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A clown and a little girl walk through a dark forest.

The girl says, "I'm scared!"

The clown replies, "you think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

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Hitler says...

"I order the execution of 6 million Jews and 1 clown!"

His officer responds with

"Why the clown?"

To which Hitler replies with

"See! No one cares about the Jews!"

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A clown held the door open for me the other day.

I thought that was a kind jester.

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The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was "funny and spontaneous"

I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming...

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When someone botched a joke.

Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "

Class: "umm"

Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."

Friend: "what?"

Me: "poor delivery"



This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

One turns to the other and says,

"I think we're doing this joke wrong".

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The life of a clown

A clown goes to his boss to ask for a raise, the boss replies: "20 years working for me and you finally make me laugh."

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Have you seen the clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

Of course you haven't.

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Hilter at a bar

A man walks into a bar and notices Hitler sitting in the corner. The man goes up to the bartender and asks "Hey, what's up with Hitler over there?" The bartender replies "Oh, he just comes in and sits there by himself. If you buy him a drink though, he'll answer one question for you."

So the man buys a drink and brings it to Hitler. He then asks "Hitler, how many people have you killed?" Hitler responds "Six million Jews, and one clown".

Confused, the man brings Hitler another drink. "Hitler, why'd you kill the one clown?"

"See? Nobody cares about the Jews."

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Paying a clown to blow up balloons at a party is pretty expensive.

Must be inflation.

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This is for Robin Williams

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, "Doc, I'm depressed. Simply, I can't sleep sometimes, I can't eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can't feel 'happy.'"

The Doctor says, "I've got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the great clown Pagliacci. He's hysterically funny and will make you laugh til you cry. You will experience a joy unprecedented."

The man bursts into tears. The doctor, confused asks why. "Doc, I *am* Pagliacci."





Robin Williams was legendary. He was also human. He had his demons and battled them all his life. I don't like that he's gone, but I understand what he's dealt with. RIP.

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

One looks at the other and says, I think we are doing this wrong.

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The boy and the clown

A clown and an 8 year-old boy are walking through a cemetery late at night when the boy becomes frightened and starts crying.
"I don't understand what you're scared and crying about" says the clown. "I'm the one who has to walk back alone..."

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What are the most funny Clown jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Clown? Well, here are the best Clown dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Clown pick up lines to share with friends.

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