The Best 61 Cloud Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cloud jokes. There are some cloud cirrus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cloud nosql puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cloud Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
and the Scottsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

Thor the God of Thunder

So Thor, the God of Thunder, is sitting on his cloud on Asgard when he suddenly wants to visit the humans. He jumps on his magical flying horse and rides down to them. When he gets there he proclaims, "I AM THOR!" to which his horse replies, "Well, that's because you forgot your thaddle thilly."

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."

The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."

Cloud joke, What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger screams "Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"

A Scotsman screams "Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"


what did the cloud say to the atmosphere?

what the hail was that?!

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Cloud joke, What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

What did the little cloud say about the big cloud?

I think you're condensating for something.

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

Men Will Be Men

Before the King goes to war, he locks his wife (the beautiful Queen ),
in the room & gives the key to his best friend & says : If I am not back within 4 days , open the room and she is yours....
He sits on his horse & hits the road. Half an hour later he notices a dust cloud & sound behind him. He stops & sees his friend riding very fast towards him.
"What's wrong ?" King asks.
.
.
.
.
Out of breath, his friend answers, "It is the wrong Key...!! "

A boy asked his father one morning...

Boy: Dad, where did I come from?

Father: You were born from a giant white cloud, then brought here by a fat pelican with a worn-out hat.

Boy: But mother said she gave birth to me!

Father: ... Your point?

You can explore cloud technologically reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cloud kens dad jokes. There are also cloud puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is.

I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky.

The Spanish magician

So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.

If you heat your solid state drive into a gaseous state drive, do you get cloud storage?

Chastity Belt

So, this guy was going to Crusade. He put on a chastity belt on his wife, gave the key to his best friend and said, "if I don't come back in 3 years, set her free." He starts off on his horse. After a while, he sees a big cloud of dust behind him. Someone was riding his horse really fast. So, he waits. The horse catches up to him. It's his best friend.

"You gave me the wrong key", yells his friend.

What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?

Find the nearest skyscraper.

Cloud joke, What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?

Hey baby, are you a cloud server?

Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.

Where does Google and Apple get their weather information?

The Cloud.

What did one cloud of fog say to the other?

I don't know. It's a Mistery.


Every cloud has a silver lining...

... unless it's a mushroom cloud. Then it's likely strontium.

What do you call a sheep without legs?

A cloud.

What's the difference between a rolling stone and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"

The other says, "hey Macleod! Get off of my ewe!"

What did the water vapor say when the cloud told it to make the grass wet?

"Don't tell me what to dew."

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

The Undercover Cloud

One cloud asks the other why he is dressed weirdly, the cloud replies "Shhh, i'm in ***da sky's***".

In Heaven, computers don't need a lot of space.

It's all stored on the cloud.

Claims that cloud storage is the future of smartphone memory issues

Sounds good, but I have no data to back it up.

I never knew how technologically advanced Moses was...

But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

A man has just died.

As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.

**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**

And so he does.

Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.

Did you hear about the new Mexican magician?

At the end of his show he says he shall disappear on the count of 3.

"Uno, Dos...(poof) a flash of cloud and he's gone.

He disappeared without a "tres"

One cloud says to another, "Oh no, we don't have enough water to make a rainstorm"

The other cloud says, "don't worry - we'll make dew"

So my German neighbour got a Samoyed...

...and she asked me for suggestions about what she should name him. I suggested her the name "Cloud".

Now everytime that dog does something ridiculous I hear a high pitched yell : "Cloud Nein!!"

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

An angel will say, "Hey you, get off of my cloud!" and a Scotsman will say, "Hey Macleod, get off of my ewe!"

What cloud based storage service do mexicans use?

JuanDrive

A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.

She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.

The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.

What kind of shorts does a cloud wear?

thunderwear

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.

Technically it was Moses.....

that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants

(I'll show myself out)

If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

Who is the first person to have downloaded data from the cloud and onto their tablet?

Moses.

Said Moses after smashing the Ten Commandments:

It's okay, I have a backup in the cloud.

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years.

Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.

Moses was centuries ahead of his time

He was the first to realise you need a tablet to connect to the cloud.

the world's best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.

It's always synching

A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven

A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time.
So of course the man said - "Was I right? Is the earth actually flat?" and God chuckled and said "Of course not".

The man shook his head in disbelief, shaken to his very core, before murmuring "...this goes even higher than I thought..."

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

Moses was the first person to:

Download from Cloud onto a Tablet.

What is another name for all the bodies of water on the Earth?

Cloud Storage.

(Original joke!)

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Heck is this??" he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied... "It's not talcum powder... it's Miracle Grow."

Who was the first person that was used technology?

Moses. He had two tablets that where connected to the cloud.

What's Sephiroth's favourite hobby?

Cloud Watching.

The Right Choice

An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."

The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."

From my 6 year old: What does a cloud wear beneath its pants?

Thunderwear!

First day as a pilot

Tower: Can you give me your position?



Me: I'm next to a cloud that looks like a lion?



Tower: Can you be more specific?



Me: Simba

The world was a dust cloud, then it solidified, and some fish evolved into a human

And the rest was history

Moses was very modern

He was the first to get a tablet with a data from the cloud

Just a schoolgirl waiting for her dad…

While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint.

When my dad saw us, he ran into the cloud of smoke, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the car!

What's wrong with you? Why are you angry at ME? I protested. I didn't even do anything!

He glared at me in the rear view mirror. I will not have any daughter of mine wasting her time with high maintenance people!

When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated.

A couple of months later, Myrtle also died

Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe. Suddenly, behind a Cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman.

She ran towards him, calling his name, "Joe. Darling, Joe"

Joe said, "Hold your horses woman, and don't give me that 'darling' s\*\*t. The deal was very clear: 'Until death do us part'."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cloud cloudy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cloud fog piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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