Clothing Store Jokes
66 clothing store jokes and hilarious clothing store puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clothing store that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Clothing Store Short Jokes
Short clothing store jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clothing store humour may include short department store jokes also.
- Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing... There were no casual tees.
- Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.
- New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'. Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.
- A new Muslim clothing store opened up in my town today... I've been banned from it for asking where I can find the new bomber jackets.
- My clothing store is using a life sized Darth Vader figurine to model their clothing line I, for one, really enjoy mannequin skywalker
- Retail clerks who buy their own clothes from their own stores really need a confidence boost. They sell themselves shorts
- I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times... But it stayed the same.
- A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"
- A store owner was tellimg his goods to "get well soon" and "rest well". Turns out that he thought his clothes were sick.
- We had a 80% discounton clothes last night, and all the people were rushing to the store to buy some. There were lots of casual Ts last night.
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Clothing Store One Liners
Which clothing store one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clothing store? I can suggest the ones about retail store and clothes shopping.
- I found a shop that sells clothing made of brick. It's a hardware store.
- A man opened fire in a clothing store there were reports of casual-tees.
- Have you heard about the store that sells used Indian clothing? Whose sari now?
- Why did the nudist visit the clothing store? He heard that the clothes were 100% off.
- Did you hear about the nudist clothing store? They're having a 100% off sale!
- I'm going to open a clothing store for cross dressers and name it... Let Me Be Frank.
- I went to a store with a lot of clothing intended for skinny people. They had some XS.
- What do you call a cop chasing a clothing store robber? Pursuit
- I was gonna open a clothing store for midgets... ... but the market was too small.
- Why did the clothing store close? The employees where slacking off.
- A gunmen shoots up a clothing store.. So many casual tee's
- Where'd you get those clothes? The toilet store.
- I just opened my religious based clothing store Fashion of The Christ.
- Where do hipsters buy their clothes? Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.
- What is Eminem's favorite clothing store? Marshall's
Clothing Store Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about clothing store you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jewelry store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clothing store pranks.
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store.
He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it.
So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir."
"How can I help you" the employee replies.
"Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?"
The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women's Day.
Upon passing a l**... store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any l**... in her life.
He gets the idea to buy his wife something s**... to make her feel good and young.
Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has.
Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife.
Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it.
He'll wait in the kitchen.
His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.
Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she's never had before.
She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination.
She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all.
So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark n**....
She calls out: "Marvin, come out to the hallway and look."
Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims: "All that money and they didn't even iron it?!"
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.
"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
An ex-con goes out on a date...
So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a Jewelry store. The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with a brick and hands his girlfriend the necklace, saying, "Anything for my baby."
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a high-end clothing store. The girlfriend eyes one of the dresses on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a dress like that to wear to parties!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with another brick and hands his girlfriend the dress, saying, "Anything for my baby."
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a car dealership. The girlfriend eyes one of the Mercedes on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have that Mercedes to drive around town in!" The ex-con pauses and replies: "What? You think I'm made out of bricks?"
One of my favorites
A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly rushes over and slaps her sons hand exclaiming "don't ever stick your hand up a girls dress!" The boy seems confused and asks why. His mother explains that "girls have teeth up there and you could lose a finger" Never learning any different several years pass and the boy is now in his teens and has managed to get himself a girlfriend. After a couple months of making out with his girlfriend after school she one day asks him why he never puts his hand up her dress when they are kissing. The boy says "are you crazy I'm not going to put my hand up your dress, you have teeth up there and I could lose a finger." Confused the girl lifts up her dress to show him and says "what are you talking about there aren't any teeth up there" The boy takes a good long look and says "Yeah...not with gums like those"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man walks into a ladies clothing store...
"I need to buy my girlfriend some gloves, but I don't know what size her hands are."
The beautiful young employee presses her hands into his and says, "I'm a 'small'. Does that help?"
"Oh yeah," he says. "You're hands are the exact same size as hers."
"Do you need anything else?" the young girl asks him.
"Now that you mention it, she also needs a bra and p**...."
No shirt, no shoes.
This is the worst clothing store I've ever shopped at.
Where did Notorious B.I.G. shop for clothes?
At the big and small store...
glass pants
A man saw a sign in a clothing store which said "We sell everything!"
The guy walked up to the clerk and asked her for some glass pants.
The woman replied,
"Sorry sir we don't sell those".
The man argued that the sign stated that the store sold everything.
The woman remarked that glass pants did not even exist.
The man went to his home, and came back to the store wearing a pair of glass pants. The man said triumphantly, "See, I told you that they existed!"
The woman said, "At first I thought you were crazy.....but now I see
you're nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two woman in an argument at a clothes store.
**1st Woman:** You should return that leather jacket you just bought.
**2nd Woman:** Why would I do that?
**1st Woman:** because it looked better on the first cow.
At a fabric store
At a fabric store, a pretty girl spots a nice material for a dress and asks the male clerk, "How much does it costs?"
Only one kiss per yard, replied the male clerk with a smirk.
That's fine, said the girl. I'll take ten yards. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then teasingly held it out.
The girl took the bag and pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled, Grandpa will pay the bill.
One Day Mr. James Went To A Clothing Store And Said To The Sales Girl,
Mr. James: My Wife Needs A Pair Of Jeans. But I Don't Remember Her Waist Size.
Sales Girl: You Can Touch My Waist And Try To Calculate.
Mr. James: Oh I Forgot. She Also Needs A Bra.
My friend and I were talking about stylish clothing stores in the mall
It was a pretty Hot Topic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I rushed to the clothes store when I heard all women's pants are half off.
But I saw no women with their pants down. d**... liars.
A nun decides to dye her worn out clothes
A nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the colour back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes. Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.
When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.
The store manager replied: "Well madam, old habits dye hard"
A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...
And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into Walmart
She's wearing very dirty clothes, smells bad and looks like she is in a horrible situation. She has 2 kids who look worse in her shopping cart
The store clerk says: Wow, are they twins?
Woman: No you idiot, they obviously look 2 years apart.
Clerk: Oh, they don't look alike. I just couldn't believe you had s**... twice.
A Spanish guy is shopping in London...
A Spanish man went into a clothing store where the salesperson only spoke English. Walking up to the nearest sales clerk, the man said, Quiero calcetines, por favor. The clerk shook his head and said, I don't speak Spanish.
The sales clerk and the man walked around the store, the clerk pointing at jackets, sweaters, pants, and shoes, hoping to find what the Spanish man needed. Finally, the clerk pointed at a table of socks, and the Spanish man exclaimed, Eso, si que es! Wide-eyed, the sales clerk said, If you could spell it, why didn't you say so before!
A rollercoaster at disney got shut down for having a small gap in the middle of the ride
It probably wasn't wise to have a clothing store in a rollercoaster anyway.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An e**... happened at a clothes store.
There were many casual tees.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde walks into Best Buy...
She approaches an associate and asks the price of a TV in the corner, but to her surprise, the associate looks at her and tell her that they don't serve blondes.
The blonde goes home and dies her hair brown, the returns to the store and asks the same question - only to get the same reply.
Now furious at how he recognized her, she goes home and puts on a black wig, paints her nails, changes her clothes and puts on sunglasses before heading back out.
She walks back into the store and asks for help with the same TV in the corner.
"Again, lady, we don't serve blondes." the associate replies.
"How the heck do you know it's me?!"
"Because that's not a TV, it's a microwave."
Here is a joke from the Soviet Union (also popular in other communist countries before 1989)
A CIA agent is sent on a spy mission to Moscow, Soviet Union. He goes to a grocery store and writes down in his diary "There is no food".
He then goes to a clothes shop and puts down in the diary "there are no shoes".
He goes out of the shop and a KGB agent waits for him outside. "You know, 10 years ago we would have shot you for that."
The CIA agent writes in his diary "There are no bullets".
Talking over the fence
My wife Julie was talking over the garden fence to our neighbor Betty.
"Hi Betty, how are things, how are you finding all this lock down stuff?"
"It's OK, bit strange having Jim around the house so much."
"I can imagine, I saw him coming home this morning from the store, he had a big bunch of flowers with him."
Betty went quiet, her cheeks reddening.
"What's the matter Betty, did i say something wrong?"
"No. It's just when he buys me flowers I have to go upstairs, take all my clothes off and lay on the bed with my legs open."
"Why?, don't you have any vases in your house."
A man walks into a rough pub near Glasgow docks...
..."here, lads, there's been a big department store fire in town, loads of stock's been written off, I can sort you out with a few things, if you'd like, what're you after?"
After doing the rounds and taking orders for various items of clothing, and even a few bigger items, someone up the back of the pub pipes up, "here, I didn't see anything about a big fire on the news, when was it?"
"Tomorrow".
A guy walks into a bar
... and orders a beer. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? the guy asks the bartender. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." "Yep," the bartender replies. "Clothes, but no cigar."