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Clothes Line Jokes

44 clothes line jokes and hilarious clothes line puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clothes line that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Clothes Line Short Jokes

Short clothes line jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clothes line humour may include short washing line jokes also.

  1. Apple started their own clothing line for pirates... Their best seller so far is the iPatch.
  2. Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.
    Those prices are THRILLER!
    No one can BEAT IT!
    Kids pants would be half off there.
  3. My clothing store is using a life sized Darth Vader figurine to model their clothing line I, for one, really enjoy mannequin skywalker
  4. Michael Strahan has a line of clothing at JC Penneys I think the Gap would be more appropriate.
  5. Mum, where do I hang the clothes. The hanging line's gone. Son, just hang them in the gallows. No one would know.
  6. I'm considering starting a men's clothing line centered around cocktails... The first article of clothing will be appropriately dubbed "my mai tai tie."
  7. What's a kidnappers most favourite pickup line? Hey, does this piece of cloth smell funny to you?
  8. Richard Dawkins has just announced that he's trademarked the name of his new clothing line... Selfish jeans
  9. My clothing line for children wasn't very successful. Shouldn't have called it Hang Ten Kids.
  10. Pick-Up Line - Let's Do Math How about we go to a nice place and do some math? We'll add ourselves up, subtract our clothes, divide our legs and then multiply.

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Clothes Line One Liners

Which clothes line one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clothes line? I can suggest the ones about clothes and clothes dryer.

  1. How do you stop kids swinging on the clothes line? With a shovel
  2. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a clothes line? Aaron
  3. Adam Levine Collection has a clothing line at Kmart His clothes are half off there too
  4. Did you hear about the solar powered clothes dryer? It's called a clothes line.
  5. What's the only clothing line that is allowed in North Korea? Supreme
  6. What did one washing line say to another? *gasp*! You have no clothes on!
  7. What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line? Stopping it with a shovel.

Clothes Line Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about clothes line you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean clothing store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clothes line pranks.

I went into a Liberal clothing store today to purchase some pants.

When I started trying on a few pairs, I noticed that all the pockets except one were visibly removed. I stopped a clerk and ask him if anyone complained. He said "No, Liberals always want a hand out." I asked what happened to the other pockets. "They don't go to waste: Conservatives use them to line theirs."

The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from
boasting to Manny about his s**... endurance.
"Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy."
Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap.
When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again.
Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening."
So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him.
"What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once.
You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"
"What twenty minutes?" growled the boss.
"Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"

A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women.


His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them.
Great says his mate, what is it!
Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"

My grandma Edna had to get a job...

...so she applied and was hired at the toy factory where they make Tickle-Me Elmo dolls. She was led to her station near the end of the assembly line where the foreman told her what was expected of her.
A couple hours later, the foreman came back to check on her. He stood behind her and observed as she meticulously folded two marbles into a small piece of cloth. Then, using a needle and thread, she stitched the folded cloth between the legs of a newly assembled Tickle-Me Elmo doll. Then she placed the finished doll into a bin for packaging. The foreman quietly watched with a growing expression of puzzlement on his face as Edna repeated this process several times.
Finally, the Foreman's eyes lit up with understanding. He placed his hand on her shoulder and said "No, Edna. I told you to give each doll two... test... tickles."

So my neighbour...

So my neighbour asks me if I've been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost s**... in her pants!

Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)

Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?

Baseball & Football -George Carlin

Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.
Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

Puerto Rico as a new state

The United States government is thinking about making Puerto Rico the 51st state of the United States...
The flag will be displayed on a clothes line outside of the capital building.

What did the General say when the enemy broke through his line?

"Darn, all my clothes in the mud."

What's the difference between Beyonce's clothing line and domestic a**...?

One's an Beyoncé fash and the other's a fiancé bash

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"
St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

Lame search

Guy dies of heart attack and goes straight to the line that leads to the gates of heaven. When in there, the guy immediately behind him asks him: hey, what did you die of? He says: oh, I got earlier from work at home, saw some man's clothes in my house, thought my wife was cheating on me and started searching around the house for her lover, couldn't find him, got really stressed out in the process, had a heart attack and ended up here. To which the other guy says: dude, had you looked in the fridge we'd both be alive now.

Lewd Limerick

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite n**...,
Saw a man come along
And, unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

My neighboor told me that if he find the guy who stole his clothes on the laundry line, he'd kill him

I almost s**... his pants

i had it all

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. 

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed.

I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym and the library.

"I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was granted parole."

India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.

Homeless man tells the tale

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical benefits coverage.
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?
Oh no, nothing like that, he said, because of Coronavirus, I was unexpectedly paroled.

My s**... neighbor told me her underwear keeps going missing from her clothes line and that shes going to report it to the police.

I almost s**... her pants

A guy has a dream about p**... into his laundry bin.

The man wakes up, startled to find out that he has in fact p**... himself in his sleep. Frustrated, he cleans himself up. As he throws his dirty clothes and sheets into the laundry bin, he thinks to himself: "well there's a silver lining. Dreams DO come true."

A clothing buyer is walking down the street in the Garment District one day...

...when she's approached by a f**.... The guy whips open his raincoat to expose his total nakedness. After the lady studied what was presented to her for a bit she looked up at the guy and asked, "You call that a lining"?