The Best 56 Cloth Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cloth jokes. There are some cloth adhesive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cloth textile puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cloth Jokes and Puns

What do a wash cloth and a pizza have in common?

The crust.

why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out?

..nobody gave a shirt.

A clothier opened a business in Utah

He is selling exploding clip-on ties to mormons. I asked how is business?
He said prophets are blowing up.

This is a corruption of a joke from sexypandalord. Most mormons are fine upstanding people and i do not advocate violence against them. Except for Bill.

Cloth joke, A clothier opened a business in Utah

I asked my mother if I could have some cloth to give to the nuns.

She said, "Fine, just don't let it become a habit"

so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants...

...and i didn't find any.

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What do clothing wrinkles and mistakes have in common?

Cloth joke, What do clothing wrinkles and mistakes have in common?

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

Why did the clothing store close?

The employees where slacking off.

Rihanna's new clothes.

Chris Brown is in the news again.
At a popular club downtown he apparently got drunk and started shouting "I'm gonna beat Rihanna till she's gold and white".

My Clothes Dryer sounds like Zoidberg.

wub wub wub wub wub wub....

You can explore cloth linen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cloth wool dad jokes. There are also cloth puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Hahahahaha... The Girl Enter In Car Their Cloth is veer Tight See you pic...

Why didn't the monk's clothes fit properly?

Because he was cohabiting.

Your clothes will never forgive you...

You always hang them out to dry.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

Cloth joke, What clothes do Quakers wear?

A priest owned a haberdashery.....

...he was a man of the cloth.

What clothing designer do vampires prefer to wear?

Alexander Fang

Why do mathematicians dislike cloth rugs?

They prefer fur mats.

My clothes were traumatically stolen from me.

But I've recovered.

What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?

"I'm Prada you son."

I bought a new crucifix-stand for my church but accidentally got the wrong cloth pattern

Apologies, cross-post from a different thread.

The Mexican magician

There was this famous magician in Mexico and his signature act was disappearing into thin air. Everytime he performs this act, he would cover himself under a huge piece of cloth and count, "uno", "dos", and poof, he vanished out of sight without a tres

So a clothes designer drank from the Fountain of Youth...

Now she's Forever 21.

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

My clothing line for children wasn't very successful.

Shouldn't have called it Hang Ten Kids.

What's the only clothing line that is allowed in North Korea?


If a clothes designer had a child...

Would it have designer genes?

My land lord stole all my cloth hanging clips

She is a cliptomaniac.

What do you call a piece of cloth that excels at relaxing?

... A napking.

If reincarnation was real, I'd come back as a table cloth

I'd get laid three times a day and pulled off at night.

What role did Mike Tyson have to play for his Christmas special?

Sani Cloth

I like my clothes the way I like my money


My son and I are cut from the same cloth.


My girlfriend asked me what size table cloth we should buy

I told her "12x15."

She asked, "feet or inches?" and I told her either one, doesn't matter.

Can't wait to see which one she buys.

A monk is arrested for stealing cloth...

The police officer let's him go with a warning, tells him not to make a habit of it.

Two priests drive around at night.

Going through a wooded area, they are stopped by the police. Seeing he just has stopped two men of the cloth, the officer mutters: "Excuse me, but we are looking for a child molester..." The priests stick their heads together, and after a short whispered discussion, exclaim: "OK, we'll do it!"

Mom: I don't think you know what it means to thread a needle through cloth.

Child: Yeah. Sew?

Why do the people of Pern make all their cloth out of yarn?

Because they're afraid of Thread!

Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine.

It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.

Sleeping without cloth in my country

Sleeping UNCLAD in my country is very risky if you are a man, Rats may circumcise you.

What's a kidnappers most favourite pickup line?

Hey, does this piece of cloth smell funny to you?

Whats the difference between a large meal you are given and a bird of the cloth?

One's a present feast and the other's a pheasant priest

You know you are getting clothes for Christmas when....

You have to try them on to see if they would "fit" your siblings

Zeus Cast Down A Sacred Pile of Cloth for Mere Mortals to Sleep On

Mortals: Holy Sheet!

What do you call a woman of the cloth up in heaven

Nun of the above

What goes across the periodic table?

The periodic table cloth.

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

The worst job I ever had was at the canvas factory, pushing a large needle through 50 layers of cloth over and over and over...

Sew boring!

What clothes shouldn't you wear inside?

Clothes that are worn out.

Did you hear the joke about the false piece of cloth?

It was fabricated.

There was a Russian man who was a collector of supernatural oddities.

An American man heard about him, and decided to try his luck at making a quick buck. He arranged a meeting, and presented a thin gauzy cloth to the man.

"This may look like cloth, but it is actually 100%, genuine ghost skin."

The Russian man leaned in, carefully examining the cloth, and running his finger lightly across it. He then turned and looked the American square in the eyes.

"I call boo sheet."

A man saw his wife wearing nothing. What are you doing? he said. It's the emperor's new cloth. she replied.

You should iron it first.

Clothes make the man (Joke from my nephew)

What's the difference between a sharp-dressed fellow on a bicycle and a raggedy looking guy on a unicycle?


A priest is buying a used lawnwoer


He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad. Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well. Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cloth knock knock clothing jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cloth new clothes piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes