Clot Jokes

Following is our collection of homeless puns and business one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Clot jokes for adults, dirty gave jokes and clean common dad gags for kids.

The Best Clot Puns

What do you call a traffic jam in Compton?

A blood clot

Two red blood cells are talking to two platelets...

One red blood cell says "I heard you two finally tied the clot!"

The other says "Coagulations!"

so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants...

...and i didn't find any.

A man goes to the doctor for a follow-up on his Deep Vein Thrombosis

Doctor: "So I prescribed you blood thinners last month, have you been taking them?"

Man: "No. I have a great reason why not though"

Doctor: "Aaah! The clot thickens!"

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out?

..nobody gave a shirt.

If a clothes designer had a child...

Would it have designer genes?

Your clothes will never forgive you...

You always hang them out to dry.

Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine.

It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.

What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?

"I'm Prada you son."

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

So a clothes designer drank from the Fountain of Youth...

Now she's Forever 21.

What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot?

Ay, be positive.

What clothes shouldn't you wear inside?

Clothes that are worn out.

What did the doctor say to the patient after administering coagulant?

The clot thickens.

My clothes were traumatically stolen from me.

But I've recovered.

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

I like my clothes the way I like my money


What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

My Clothes Dryer sounds like Zoidberg.

wub wub wub wub wub wub....

Rihanna's new clothes.

Chris Brown is in the news again.
At a popular club downtown he apparently got drunk and started shouting "I'm gonna beat Rihanna till she's gold and white".

What do clothing wrinkles and mistakes have in common?

You know you are getting clothes for Christmas when....

You have to try them on to see if they would "fit" your siblings

Old/new joke about Negroes

What do you call a traffic jam in Harlem? A blood clot.

Where do you go to fix it? Statin Island

What's the only clothing line that is allowed in North Korea?


What did the poisoned rat say to himself as his blood ceased to clot and internal bleeding ensued?


My clothing line for children wasn't very successful.

Shouldn't have called it Hang Ten Kids.

What clothing designer do vampires prefer to wear?

Alexander Fang

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

Why didn't the monk's clothes fit properly?

Because he was cohabiting.

Why did the clothing store close?

The employees where slacking off.

A clothier opened a business in Utah

He is selling exploding clip-on ties to mormons. I asked how is business?
He said prophets are blowing up.

This is a corruption of a joke from sexypandalord. Most mormons are fine upstanding people and i do not advocate violence against them. Except for Bill.

There is an abundance of arteries jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 32 funniest jokes and clot puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any shelter witze you can hear about clot.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes