JokoJokes

Clot Jokes

37 clot jokes and hilarious clot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a hearty chuckle? Check out this collection of clever jokes about blood clots, ties, homeless people, and businesses. Whether you're in need of a good laugh or simply want to brighten your day, these witty jokes are sure to deliver!

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Funniest Clot Short Jokes

Short clot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clot humour may include short bleed jokes also.

  1. Two red blood cells are talking to two platelets... One red blood cell says "I heard you two finally tied the clot!"
    The other says "Coagulations!"
  2. A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood.
    Police are still hunting for the clots.
  3. What did the poisoned rat say to himself as his blood ceased to clot and internal bleeding ensued? Bromadiolone.
  4. Jeans for genes today..... Next week I'm organising a haemophiliacs fundraiser :
    Culottes for clots
  5. What did the doctor say about the o**... donor which died from a clotted artery? "at least his death wasn't in vein"
  6. Old/new joke about n**... What do you call a traffic jam in Harlem? A blood clot.

    Where do you go to fix it? Statin Island

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Clot One Liners

Which clot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clot? I can suggest the ones about vein and blood.

  1. What do you call a traffic jam in Compton? A blood clot
  2. My grandad said there's gangs at his retirement village The blood clots and the cripples
  3. Mommy! Mommy! What's a vampire? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
  4. I think my heart is trying to kill me. It's clotting against me.
  5. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Ay, be positive.
  6. What did the doctor say to the patient after administering coagulant? The clot thickens.
  7. What did the vampire say to her kids? Eat your dinner before it clots!
  8. Hey did you guys hear Alex Trebek is in the hospital? What is blood clot in the brain?
  9. What's red and silly? A blood clot.

Clot joke, What's red and silly?

Happy Clot Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about clot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clot pranks.

Clothing optional

I went in for my prostate exam last week. The doctor told me to take off my pants. I asked him where I should put them. Right there next to mine was not the answer I wanted to hear.

so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants...

...and i didn't find any.

A man goes to the doctor for a follow-up on his Deep Vein Thrombosis

Doctor: "So I prescribed you blood thinners last month, have you been taking them?"
Man: "No. I have a great reason why not though"
Doctor: "Aaah! The clot thickens!"

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out?

..nobody gave a shirt.

If a clothes designer had a child...

Would it have designer genes?

What do clothing wrinkles and mistakes have in common?

Your clothes will never forgive you...

You always hang them out to dry.

Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine.

It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.

A clothing buyer is walking down the street in the Garment District one day...

...when she's approached by a f**.... The guy whips open his raincoat to expose his total nakedness. After the lady studied what was presented to her for a bit she looked up at the guy and asked, "You call that a lining"?

My clothing store is using a life sized Darth Vader figurine to model their clothing line

I, for one, really enjoy mannequin skywalker

Not sure what clothes to wear to look trendy?

Ask Tommy, Hilfiger it out

Why do the clothes in beauty and the beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?

"I'm Prada you son."

Clothes make the man (Joke from my nephew)

What's the difference between a sharp-dressed fellow on a bicycle and a raggedy looking guy on a unicycle?
Attire.

So a clothes designer drank from the Fountain of Youth...

Now she's Forever 21.

What clothes shouldn't you wear inside?

Clothes that are worn out.

My clothes were traumatically stolen from me.

But I've recovered.

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

My Clothes Dryer sounds like Zoidberg.

wub wub wub wub wub wub....

I like my clothes the way I like my money

Laundered.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

Rihanna's new clothes.

Chris Brown is in the news again.
At a popular club downtown he apparently got drunk and started shouting "I'm gonna beat Rihanna till she's gold and white".

You know you are getting clothes for Christmas when....

You have to try them on to see if they would "fit" your siblings

Clot joke, You know you are getting clothes for Christmas when....