The Best 77 Closet Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Closet jokes. There are some closet hangers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these closet shoebox puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Closet Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between clothes and gay Muslims?

Clothes get hanged when they come INTO the closet.

I keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia.

Which is the one about being in a closet?

Was surprised when my son came out the closet yesterday...

I didn't think he could break through that lock.

Closet joke, Was surprised when my son came out the closet yesterday...

Little Johnny and his ball.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."

Why is Robert Pattison so pale?

There's no sunlight in the closet.


I just received a chain letter and if I don't re-send it a dead woman will appear in my closet....

Guess who's getting laid tonight.

Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier...

if my wardrobe wasn't so fabulous!

Closet joke, Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier...

Did you hear about the gay broom?

Spent 10 years in the closet.

A husband came home and found his wife laying naked on the bed

and asks her "Why are you naked, woman ?" "Because i have nothing to wear." "You have nothing to wear? You have a closet full of clothes !" He then goes and opens the closet doors and starts going through her stuff. "Look, you have one dress, two dresses, three dresses, Hello neighbour, four dresses !"

Why are gay men so great at fashion?

They've spent so much time in the closet.

Why don't gays like to play hide-and-seek?

Because everyone knows they're in the closet

You can explore closet bedroom reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean closet bathroom dad jokes. There are also closet puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a closet full of lesbians?

A liquor cabinet!

heh.

OC, What do you call an anorexic lesbian?

A skeleton in the closet.

Sincere apologies to everyone I've just horribly offended!

Why are gay guys so fashionable?

Because they don't spend all that time in the closet for nothing!

Eggs

A couple were married for 25yrs. One day while cleaning their room, she finds a box hidden inside his closet and decides to open it with the thought that her husband is keeping a secret to her. In the box she finds 3 eggs and 10 grand.
This seems very strange so she went to him and asks:
"Why are there 3 eggs in a box in your closet?"
"Well, dear," the husband replies, "everytime I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box."

She's hurt that he had been unfaithful but consoles herself with the fact that they have been married for 25yrs and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.

Wife asks: "Where did the 10 grand come from?"
With head bowed down he answers: "Everytime it reaches a dozen, I sell them!"

Why are Gay Men better dressers?

They spent more time in the closet!....

Closet joke, Why are Gay Men better dressers?

My roommate told me my clothes look gay.

I told him to have some respect. They just came out of the closet.

My friends keep telling me I'm in the closet.

I just tell them it's Narnia business.

Going to Vegas

A man comes home from work to find his wife packing her things. "What are you doing?" he asks.
His wife replies, "I'm leaving you and moving to Las Vegas. I hear that men will pay me $500 to do to them what I do to you for free."
The man says nothing, walks over to the closet, grabs his suitcase and begins packing his things.
"What do you think you're doing?" his wife asks.
The man replies, "I'm going to Vegas. I want to see how you're going to live off of $500 a year."


You ever seen a really beautiful woman that you wanna go talk to?

But then you think she's gonna freak out when you walk out of her closet?

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal play hide-and-seek

Einstein decides to be the seeker and begins counting. Pascal immediately runs to a closet and hides inside. Newton doesn't run or try to hide. Instead he takes some tape, makes a box on the ground, and steps inside. Einstein finishes counting and turns around to see Newton standing like an idiot.

"I found you Isaac, great hiding spot," says Einstein.

"You didn't find me," Newton replies. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!"

What's a homophobic child's worst nightmare?

A monster coming out of the closet

Why are gay men so well dressed?

They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.

My roommate just called my clothes gay..

Have a little respect man! They just came out of the closet

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

Why do gay men have good fashion sense?

Because of all the time they spent in the closet

Why are monsters hipsters?

Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool.

What Did the Janitor Say When He Jumped Out of the Closet?

"Supplies!"

I'll see myself out

There are so many closet gay muslims,

Isis just invaded Narnia.

Somebody told me my clothes were gay.

I said "Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."

A guy in school said that my clothes were gay

"Well, yes", I told him "they came out of the closet this morning."

Why do gay guys dress so well?

They spent a lot of time in the closet.

A friend of mine told me all my clothes were gay...

"Keep your voice down!" I yelled, "some of them are still in the closet."

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...

i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

I just realized how gay my clothes are.

They come out of the closet every morning.

What do you call a closet filled with lesbians?

A liquor cabinet.

Jake went over to pick up his girlfriend to go on a date.

When he found her naked, he asked why.
"Well, because I don't have any dresses to wear!"
"Sure you do," Jake replied, opening her closet. "Here's a blue one, a red one, a green one- oh, hi Francis- a yellow one..."

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

Last year's winner of hide and seek

Today someone called my clothes 'gay'

"Yeah!" I replied. "They came out of the closet this morning actually!"

I Always Feel Bad For Gay Homeless People

They have no closet to come out of.

So if normal sized people come out of the closet when they're gay,

Do midgets come out of the cabinet?

My wife has two problems

My wife has two problems:
1. She has nothing to wear
2. Her closet is too full

Why are closeted gay people good at poker?

Because they're always putting on a straight face.

How do you scare a child? Tell them that a monster is in the closet.

How do you scare a conservative? Tell them that *their* child is in the closet!

Why do gay people know so much about fashion?...

They have spent so much time in the closet.

What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet?

Supplies!

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A licker cabinet

If gays come out of the closet, where do lesbians come from?

The liquor cabinet

An idiot has a mirror in his closet

He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops

"Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!"

A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can

"Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!"

My wife was cleaning the closet last week

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them

Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes

Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

BANG@#$%^&*

How big is a paedophile's closet?

It's pretty spacey

Someone said that my pink shirt was gay

I replied, "Of course, it just came out of the closet."

What's a skeleton in a closet?

A hide and seek winner.

Why do gay men have such amazing taste in clothing?

They take years before coming out of the closet.

Why does Mike Pence keep all of his clothes in drawers?

Because he can't stand anything coming out of the closet.

I've never understood why homophobics wore clothes

because clothes come out of the closet and that's gay

Why do gay people dress so well?

Because they spend most of their lives in the closet.

One of my favorite childhood memories is my father coming out of the closet...

It was a huge surprise to me that not just *one*, but *both* my fathers were gay.

I keep confusing homophobia with claustrophobia.

Which one is scared of being in a closet?

My friends told me my clothes were gay...

I replied: "yeah, they came out of the closet this morning!"

Why are gay people so much better at fashion?

Because they're very familiar with the closet.

Why are Gay people always so well dressed?

Because they spend all that time in the closet.

How warm is a janitor's closet?

Broom Temperature.

Gay people really don't have an excuse to have a bad fashion sense

What were they doing all this time in the closet?

A woman's closet door what making a terrible sounds whenever a bus was crossing the street outside

So she called a carpenter to check it out.

The carpenter comes to see what's the problem but sees nothing. Right then a bus was crossing the street and a loud creaking sound was heard. He couldn't believe it.

So he told her that he'll be waiting inside the closet to see what is making this noise.

After a few minutes the husband comes home, opens the closet and see a man inside.
He looks at his wife with disgust and back at the man and asks: "what the hell are you doing in my closet…?"

The carpenter then said "would you believe me if I told you I am waiting for the bus? "

An aide slides up to Trump and whispers in his ear discreetly

"Mr.President, one of your shoes is black, and the other is brown!"

Trump said

, "Yes, I noticed it myself. I went to change but when I looked in the closet, the only other pair I had was also one black and one brown"

Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.

One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him.

I came out of the closet to my boss and was fired on the spot

He's still asking how I got in his closet

A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".

I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".

When I was younger, I didn't want to imagine my parents having sex...

So I'd watch them while hiding in their bedroom closet.

Why is the swiss cheese afraid of the dark?

Because it's afraid of a muenster in the closet

What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?

Last year's hide-and-go-seek champion.

If I ever tell you bless you...

you better say "thank you" and not "why are you in my closet with an AK-47?"

My wife said to come out of the closet already...

I said stop buying so many cute dresses then.

Mr. Johnson walk into a doctor's office and says, "My farts never smell."

He lets out a very loud fart and says, "See? It doesn't smell."

The doctor goes to his closet and takes out a pole with a hook on the end.

Mr. Johnson is understandably terrified. "What are you gonna do with that thing?"

"I'm just going to open the window," says the doctor. "And by the way, I think there's something wrong with your nose."

Total chaos would ensue.

What would happen if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the closet?

Why are LGBT people so fashionable?

Because they spent a lot of time in the closet

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the closet bed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working closet drawer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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