Close Shave Jokes
9 close shave jokes and hilarious close shave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about close shave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Close Shave Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good close shave joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man driving down a winding country lane noticed two people on the road.
They were wearing robes and sandals, had s**... heads and holding up signs.
One sign read "The End is Near!"
The other sign read "Change Before it's Too Late!"
He slowed the car and rolled down the window. "Get lost you religious nuts!" He yelled.
He sped off round the corner. There was a squeal of brakes and a loud splash.
One of the sign- holders turned to the other and said "Maybe we should simply write 'warning: bridge ahead closed'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.
"And what if I s**... it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the barbershop
A man enters a barbershop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
\- "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
\- "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech
\- "And what if I s**... it?"
\- "No problem" says the barber.
\- "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!"
In light of Movember...
Now that November has drawn to a close, a lot of my friends told me it was finally time to get rid of my 'awful' mustache.
I told them, that goes without shaving!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world!
... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after s**....
A Close Shave
An older man getting his hair cut said to the barber, I have very loose skin on my face so I can never seem to get a good close shave. Any ideas?
The barber handed him a small wooden ball and said, Place this in your mouth and roll it around to whichever side I'm shaving. It will stretch out the skin and I'll give you the best shave you've had in years.
The man did what the barber said and sure enough. his face was smooth as silk after the shave. He spit out the wooden ball and said, I just have one question- What would happen if I accidentally swallowed that wooden ball?
You'd bring it back in a few days, like everyone else does.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a barber for a shave
While the barber is lathering him up, the man admits to having a hard time getting a close shave on his cheeks.
''Here, try this'', says the barber, pulling a small wooden ball from a drawer. '' Place the ball between your right cheek and gum and I'll show you how close a shave can be.''
The man does so and the barber shaves away.
''Wow,'' exclaims the man, ''that is great!'' He then asks with a muffled voice, ''What happens if I accidentally s**... the ball?''
''No problems,'' replies the barber. ''Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else.''
What would you call Sean Connery walking out of a burning barber shop?
A close shave
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Barber's Joke today
A man enters a barbershop for a shave.
While the barber gets him lathered, he mentions he can't get a close shave on his cheeks.
"I have just the thing" the barber takes a small wooden ball from a small drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum"
The customer places the ball in his cheek and gets the closest shave he has ever experienced.
After the shave, the customer asks in garbled speech "what if I s**... it?" "Not a problem" says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else"
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