Clooney Jokes

Following is our collection of hathaway puns and affleck one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Clooney jokes for adults, dirty adaptation jokes and clean stallone dad gags for kids.

The Best Clooney Puns

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

When my wife and I got married,

we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have sex with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor.

George Clooney Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie.

George said: I'll Direct

Matt Damon said: I'll produce

Matthew McConaughey said: ill write ill write ill wriite

My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with...

She read hers out: 'One, George Clooney; two, Brad Pitt; three, Justin Timberlake; four, Jake Gyllenhaal; five, Johnny Depp.' I thought, I've got the better deal here: 'One, your sister... That's where our conversation ended..

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write


My wife told me this one...

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor

Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then

McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

George Clooney Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a new film.

George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write

George Takei, George Clooney, George Lucas, and George R.R. Martin decided to have a barbecue.

They named their little get-together the "George" Four-Man Grill.

What do you call a George Clooney sex party?

A Georgy. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

George Clooney creates an iTunes playlist and fills it with various cartoon soundtracks.

Clooney Tunes

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:

Clooney: I'll direct.

DiCaprio: I'll act.

McConaughey: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.


If George Clooney...

What would George Clooney call his iTunes playlist?

Clooney Tunes.

Badum tsssh..

What does George Clooney say whenever you catch him masturbating?

"I'm a Fapper Dan man :/"

Once you've seen one Clooney wife...

you've seen Amal.

Hey George Clooney, do you go to a store?

Clooney: Why would I go to a store when I have AMAL?

George Clooney is an excellent Pokémon trainer

He caught Amal

How do you become friends with Ben Affleck?

Mistake him for George Clooney.

There is an abundance of zac jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes and clooney puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any streep witze you can hear about clooney.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes