Clinton Jokes

Funniest Clinton Short Jokes

Short clinton jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clinton humour may include short bush jokes also.

1. Did you hear that NYC paid hillary clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
2. bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
3. We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
4. Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.
5. Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
6. So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
7. There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
8. Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government? Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
9. Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
10. If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush.

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Clinton One Liners

Which clinton one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clinton? I can suggest the ones about hilary clinton and hillary clinton.

1. What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?
2. Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016
3. Do you know why bill clinton played the saxophone? Because he lost his whoremonica
4. Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton any second now
5. This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton... She isn't getting paid for it
6. It is so quiet in the Clinton HQ right now. So quiet you can hear an email being deleted
7. Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server.
8. Why do people like Hillary Clinton? When she can't even stand herself?
9. [OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game? Super-Pac man.
10. What's Hillary Clinton's key to success? The Delete Key
11. Hillary Clinton is in the hospital... She is being treated for third degree Berns.
12. How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill... under the table
13. Say what you want about Bill Clinton's Presidency... But he was always hard at work.
14. Where does Hillary Clinton eat at to appeal to Asian voters? Pander Express.
15. What do you call Bill Clinton's office? The Headquarters.

Hillary Clinton Jokes

Here is a list of funny hillary clinton jokes and even better hillary clinton puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
• Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.
• What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something
• Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society
• What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?
• What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.
• What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common? Going down on any of them would be horrifying.
• What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails? The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.
• Bill Clinton said Hillary is clearly the best choice for president... He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.
• A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.

Bill Clinton Jokes

Here is a list of funny bill clinton jokes and even better bill clinton puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated
• Why wouldn't Hillary Clinton let Bill be her IT manager? She was too worried how often the servers would go down on him.
• Oh, Bill... A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"
  He answers, "Well, she's no Monica!"
• Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?" "Not as good as Monica"
• What's the difference between Trump and Bill Clinton? Trump paid her $130k, Bill didn't even pay for dry-cleaning
• How was Bill Clinton able to maintain a steady surplus during his presidency? He had a great Al Gore rhythm.
• With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.
• Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving? He won't inhale.
• Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful.
• The economy is doing really bad... Its so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel, they have to share a room.

Hilary Clinton Jokes

Here is a list of funny hilary clinton jokes and even better hilary clinton puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, "Your husband will die a horrible violent death." Hilary asks, "Will I be acquitted?"
• Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start.
• Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy? We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.
• The biggest joke of 2015.. When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President.
• What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach? Flip flops or scandals!
• Hilary Clinton and Seth Rich walk into a bar... The bartender says "What'll you have?"
  Hilary says "I'll have a glass of wine, and he'll have 2 shots in the back"
• I recently saw The VVitch and it was a very eye opening experience I had no idea Hilary Clinton had such a rough childhood.
• Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar. None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.
• Donald Tump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a Island, who do thy save first? America
• Most disgusting "Would you rather.." ever Would you rather - live for the next four years and have Hilary Clinton as President or Live for the next four years and have Donald Trump as President?

Chelsea Clinton Jokes

Here is a list of funny chelsea clinton jokes and even better chelsea clinton puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Chelsea Clinton is so patriotic That she wore George Washington's wooden teeth for her speech last night
• What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton
• Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
  A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
• Why was Chelsea Clinton an only child? Because Monica Lewinsky swallowed all her siblings.
• Why does Chelsea Clinton look up whenever she thinks about her father? That's where the Hubbell is.

Ridiculous Clinton Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about clinton you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bill clinton jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clinton pranks.