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Clint Jokes

41 clint jokes and hilarious clint puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clint that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Clint Short Jokes

Short clint jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clint humour may include short saloon jokes also.

  1. Clint Eastwood, the Pope, and Yoda walk into the bar... It was at this point I realized I had done WAY too many tequila shots.
  2. Clint Eastwood should do a movie where he is a crotchety old sysadmin. Then we could have the line: "Get off my LAN."
  3. What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay.
    *walks away slowly*
  4. Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business? He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.
  5. TIL Captain Sullenberger wasn't happy with Clint Eastwood's movie about him. He said it sullied his name.
  6. What's Clint Eastwood's favourite line to use when hunting skunks? You feelin' lucky, skunk?

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Clint One Liners

Which clint one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clint? I can suggest the ones about clint eastwood and horse.

  1. I've decided I want a pet termite. I'm going to call him Clint. Clint Eatswood
  2. What do you call a cowboy with erectile dysfunction? Clint Southwood
  3. What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning? "Go Ahead Make My Day"
  4. Who often shoots in the wrong direction? Clint Westwood
  5. What's Clint Eastwoods favourite make of car? Audi, partner.
  6. Why did god create Clint Eastwood? Because even Chuck Norris needs a worst nightmare.
  7. What would Clint Eastwood be called if he was Japanese? Clint Fareastwood
  8. Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood just broke every chair in his house.
  9. What do you call Clint Eastwood's mistress? Grip Eas'-wood!
  10. i just bought a b**... and named him clint... Clint eatswood
Clint joke, i just bought a b**... and named him clint...

Cheeky Clint Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about clint you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cowboy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clint pranks.

The Clintons snuck out of Secret Service and spent a weekend driving around like in the good ol' days

They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner".
Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Clinton on the Titanic

Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The Clintons at President Reagan's f**...

I don't know if any of you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you might've noticed Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.
Reagan, who never missed the opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his head out of the casket and said I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together

Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...

and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"

How can you tell when Clinton is lying?

Her lips are moving.
Yeah, it's an old joke but then again, so is she.

How are Clinton scandals like Pokémon?

You'll never catch 'em all!

Clinton and Pence

You know both sides of the aisle are more alike then you think. Both Clinton and Pence had issues with their flies...

Clinton to Trump: Release your tax returns! I have never seen them.

Trump: …but I emailed them to you. Of course you've never seen them.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I Like My Vaginas Like My Two Favorite Clint Eastwood Movies

Dirty Harry and Every Which Way but Loose

Why don't the Clintons like Jehovah's Witnesses?

The Clintons don't like ANY witn

If Clinton is elected president...

It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Say what you will about Clinton being a womanizer

But Bush had the Twins go down on him.

How do you know the Clinton campaign didn't use Cambridge Analytica?

The whistleblower is still alive.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis!

If you smoke, you have to say "I did not inhale"
and if you do edibles, you have to say "I did not s**..."

A Clinton presidency is like an iPhone 7.

I really don't want an iPhone 7, but I'll probably end up with one anyway.

So Clinton won 6 out of 6 coin tosses in Iowa?

I guess all the money really is behind her!

Clinton is MY president!

His second term is about to end but I truly loved his presidency
-Sent from internet explorer

Clint joke, Clinton is MY president!

jokes about clint