Clinking Jokes
7 clinking jokes and hilarious clinking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clinking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Clinking Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good clinking joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I have a jar full of jars, I call it jar jar, and when I shake it,
Jar Jar Clinks
Shaggy dog story…
Rudolf, the high ranking communist and his wife are asleep in their dacha outside Moscow. A noise on roof wakes her up. Wife says 'there's something moving around on our roof. I heard a plop then a clink'.
Rudolf says 'don't worry dear, it's just the first large raindrops'. Wife mumbles unconvinced, but sure enough, a few minutes later the obvious sounds of a drenching hit the roof.
Wife says 'I'm sorry I doubted you my love. You were right'
He says 'Yes. Never forget: Rudolf the Red knows rain dear'.
Three Blondes Walk into a Bar...
They get a table and order a round of drinks. When the server brings the drinks over, the blondes clink the glasses together and say, "A toast to 36 hours!"
The blondes order several more rounds, and each time they make the same toast to 36 hours. After the fourth round, the server gives in to curiosity and asks, "Why are you toasting to 36 hours?"
One of the blondes replies, "Oh well, we just finished this really hard jigsaw puzzle, and on the side of the box it said 2 to 4 years!"
Temel walks into a bar...
He orders 3 beers and clinks glasses to each other before drinking them all and leaves. Next week he comes again, orders 3 beer and drinks them after doing the ritual. Bartender curiously asks why he's doing that and Temel replies;
"me and my two brothers separated last year and we made a promise to drink for each other every weekend to remember our old drinking days. "
A few monts passes, every weekend Temel comes, drinks 3 and leaves. One day Temel walks into bar and when bartender reaches to glasses Temel says ;
" only 2 beer this time."
Bartender sadly asks ;
"Which one of your brothers died? "
and temel replies; " None of them died, I stopped drinking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..
The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different c**...,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.
"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.
As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!"
"What a coincidence!" said the man.
"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different ****," he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true.
"I want to pee whiskey," he says.
“But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want."
"No I want to pee whiskey."
The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true.
George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses."
Curious she was, she brings them.
"What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks."
From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her.
And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey.
They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game.
The other night the same happen.
"Woman, bring two glasses and nuts."
So they spend their evenings.
One night, however, the scene changed.
"Woman, bring nuts and a cup."
"A, for one?"
"You will drink from the bottle today."
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